Come Out

Okay so some noters reminded me that to get labor started I should stimulate my nipples.

I did remember reading that.

So after my shower last night I sat down on our bed and thought, "Oh what the heck.."

I was in the middle of it when Tom walked in--

"Wow hello, should I leave you alone?" he asked, looking stunned to find his naked wife perched on the bed stroking her nipples.

"Not at all, just trying to bring on labor," I said cheerfully.

Tom looked a little uncomfortable. "Okay..."

I gave a sigh. "I don't think it's working. So we might have to have.." I let out a deep breath.."sex."

Tom looked slightly insulted. "You make it sound like the worst thing ever.."

I gave him a Look. "Well as of right now it's not something that I feel eager to do. I feel huge, I can't breathe and Natalie keeps digging her hands and feet into me as though trying to make more room. But the problem is, there IS no room. Poor girl just doesn't realize it."

Tom saluted and put on a deep voice. "If it is my duty to give you sex than I shall." He even bowed.

Nerd.

"Really I just need your sperm. Just a quickie, really, I know you hate quickies but I haven't the patience for anything else," I said.

Tom sat down beside me. "Aww well aren't you romantic. Here let me take over." And then he started stroking my nipple.

And then promptly got stuff on him.

"EWW!" He recoiled his hand.

I shrugged. "Sorry. Leakage."

"EWW!"

He rushed into the bathroom and scrubbed his hands for five minutes.

"You know you're washing off liquid gold!" I called out.

So yes.

No baby yet.

We did some more walking today.

We went to Target.

Where my Mom bought me the new Jodi Picoult book Nineteen Minutes.

To be honest I've never read her books before but I hear such wonderful reviews about them.

So I figured, what the heck.

I didn't realize Mom would buy it for me though. But Tom was all, "You'll need something to read in the hospital."

Um.

When does he think I'm going to READ what with the cervix checking, the blood pressure checking and oh yes the EXCRUCIATING PAIN?!!

I brought a book in when I had Tommy and I think I read like one page.

Then Tom took me into Barnes and Noble.

I think he felt bad listening to me huff and puff.

BARNES AND NOBLE!

I found cheap books.

I got a book by Fiona Walker called Tongue in Cheek

And a book called Man and Wife by Tony Parsons. I read Man and Boy and figured I'd like this one.

Both were only $5!

Oh and I found a Crock Pot recipe book in the bargain section.

Mm they had a recipe for easy chicken parmignan and triple hot chocolate.

*Drools*

I figured I'd find a lot of good stuff in there.

Barnes and Noble, how I love thee.

Then we went to Home Depot because Tom suddenly got it in his head that he wanted to plant roses.

???

Sometimes I don't understand him.

To suddenly be all, "Lets plant some roses.."

Okay then.

Lets.

So he got the stuff he needed from Home Depot. And a part for the grill.

We're grilling hamburgers and hot dogs tonight since it's 70 degrees.

Ugh we walked around Home Depot for like a half hour. My back ached. We didn't know where anything was so we'd go down the store. Then realize, oops, go down the other side of the store.

I huffed and puffed behind everyone.

Mom was all, "Pick up the pace, I know you can walk faster!"

Er. Maybe without a HUMAN BEING inside of me.

Then on the way home Mom said cheerfully, "Later we're going for a walk."

I went, "No thanks."

She gave me a Look and went, "Later we're going on a walk. I walked a lot to get you out and you did!"

"I walked enough today, thanks," I said.

"We're going on a walk and that's final."

HELLO?

So now I'm all, "Natalie please come out so I don't have to go on a walk.."

I'm not in the mood I just want to SIT DOWN and be left alone.

That's all.

But no, I have to go on a WALK.

Which yes, might be good, but I'm TIRED.

And it looks like Natalie won't be coming out on her own so tomorrow is the induction.

I have to wake up early and call the hospital at 630 in the morning.

SIX THIRTY IN THE MORNING!

I don't even remember the last time I was up at six thirty in the morning.

I guess giving birth to my daughter is a good reason.

I'll try to write an entry before I leave just in case the hospital doesn't have wireless.

I'm off to go eat lunch.

Leftovers of course.

I was going to make Bagel Bites and Mom was all, "But there is leftover chili, pork chops and tacos in the fridge!"

I was too tired to argue.

NATALIE COME OUT!