Monday, April 30, 2007

Losing It

Okay I admit it.

I gained a lot of weight with Natalie.

I started out as 110.

I got up to 160.

Okay, fine, it was 163 but who is counting the extra three pounds??

It got to the point when I'd step on the scale that I'd cringe.

What can I say, I love to eat.

After I had Natalie I dropped ten pounds.

And that was it.

I was left with a disgusting huge stomach covered in red stretch marks.

I figured my stomach would go down some...and it did. But not as much as I thought.

I still have a stomach and it's freaking me out. When I wear clothes I look as though I'm still pregnant. When I push against it it feels like jello.

I'm down to 138.

And I still feel huge.

I managed to squeeze into my size 7 jeans but I could barely breathe!

I'm usually a size 5.

And yes I know, there will probably be people reading this thinking that they wouldn't mind to be 138.

But when you're used to being between 110-115 (it depends on how much I've eaten that week) and wearing a size 5 pants, it's not pleasant.

I'm starting to exercise some and watching what I eat.

This makes me a little cranky. I hate exercising and not being able to eat what I want is infuriating. Eating an apple is not as much fun as eating a candy bar, I don't care what the experts say.

I just feel disgusting.

I need this stomach to go away, I'm embarrassed wearing t-shirts that outline my fat.

I swear, I'm not vain, I just miss all the clothing that currently hangs in my closet that I cannot wear.

So yes, Project Get-My-Body-Back is underway...


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