Thursday, May 15, 2008

House Of Sick

I may be the only person who does not want to see the new Indiana Jones movie.

I never liked any of them.

It was actually a movie that Tom picked for our movie nights when we were dating. This was during our "polite" phase. He endured Sleepless in Seattle without a word and I had to sit through that boring movie.

I kept getting confused on why Han Solo continued to crack a whip.

Just like it startles me when I see Han Solo today with his hair stark white.

Tom wants to see the new Indiana Jones and I said he's welcome to go on his own.

"I thought we could go when your parents visit. For a date," he said hopefully.

"No thanks," I said.

Plus, he already agreed to see the Sex and the City movie.


Well, remember when he went paintballing and he didn't call to let me know what was going on?

Yeah, I sort of made him feel ultra guilty and Tom asked how he could make it up to me.

"Well," I said slowly, "you COULD go see the Sex and the City movie with me..." I trailed off, pretending that I didn't care one way or another. I examined my ragged fingernail and vowwed that I wouldn't chew them again--of course that vow lasted all of two days before my nails were in my mouth once again.

Anyhow, Tom said he'd see it with me.

"I'm sure you'll see boobies," I told him.

Tom's eyes lit up at that. (He's such a MAN.) But then he pretended not to care. He gave a little shrug and went, "I'll just try not to stare at Jessica Sarah's mole."

"Sarah Jessica," I corrected.

Tom shrugged, showing me he could care less what her name was.

"I'll probably be the only man in the theater," he muttered.

Probably not. I imagine there will be other men in there dragged along by their mates.

I told this to Tom.

"GAY men," he fumed.

"Tom. Some men actually LIKE the show. I think deep down you like the show. You watch when I have it on," I pointed out.

"That's because there's nothing else to watch!" he retorted.

Yeah, whatevs.

His favorite episode is when Samantha calls baby Brady an asshole.

Mine too, actually.

Because really, babies can behave like assholes at times.

But enough about that.

I just got back from Burger King. I was naughty and got that for dinner.

Tom works tonight and I woke up feeling like crap.

Natalie woke up feeling like crap.

In fact she woke up a number of times last night.

The fifth time I began to wonder if her plan was to kill me by lack of sleep.

Then when she woke up for the day it was whine whine and double whine.

Plus I see another tooth popping through.

She's refusing to eat again. All she's eaten today is breastmilk and a few bites of oatmeal.

Plus I got her to take a few sips of regular milk. Just a few. Now she pushes the cup away whenever I offer it to her.

I went down for a nap when she did. I did not want to wake up.

Then Tom left for work and I did not feel like cooking.

So I told Tommy that we were going to Burger King.

"Just a plain burger," Tommy told me firmly.

And he's serious about that too. The mustard and the onion pellets freak him out. The pickles send him into hysterics.

It has to be plain.

The Burger King on this base is slow though. I pulled up at the drive thru and the lady blasted over the line.


Again, I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Yes, I'll take the six piece chicken finger meal," I shouted. "With a diet cok--"


A silence.


"A diet coke..can I get that with buffalo sauce?"

(It's this spicy sauce. It rocks.)


"No, plus a PLAIN hamburger kid's meal."

I have to stress plain. Because if I don't, the burger is still given to us with crap on it.

Then I was naughty and ordered a Hershey's Sundae Pie. I haven't had one of those since England.

Mmmm sundae pie...

I was given the total and then I drove up to the window. The woman leaned out and handed me my drinks. They had the Indiana Jones pictures all over them.

"You excited about the movie?" she asked.

I didn't know what she was talking about at first. I sort of gaped at her in confusion.

"The movie!" she gestured to Han Solo on the side of my diet coke. He was in the middle of cracking a whip with a determined look on his face.

"Not really. It's weird to see Han Solo with a whip, you know?" I laughed a little bit at my joke and it was her turn to gape at me.

"Um," I felt the need to add. "You know, because he was in Star Wars as Han Solo...."

She still looked confused.

Okay then.

Never seen Star Wars, obviously.

Then she nearly forgot to give me my pie!

I dug through the bag and she had shut her window.

I waited a few seconds to see if she'd come back and she never did.

So I reached over and knocked on it.

I saw her peek around the corner and she looked startled to still see me there. She opened it and went, "Yes?"

"My pie? I don't have my pie," I said. I guess I sort of sounded a tad hysterical.

"Oh. Right." She turned around and opened this silver fridge thing. Then she pulled it out and clunked it into a bag. Then she handed it to me.

"Thanks," I said.

"Uh huh," she responded, giving me a strange look.

Crazy Burger King customer talking about some weird dude named Han Solo..

My food was delicious. As was my pie. Tommy is weird because when I gave him a bite he looked digusted.

"It tastes," he said after he swallowed, "funny.." Then he took a long swig of water because that's all he drinks.

Tonight is good TV night at least.

Grey's Anatomy should be interesting.

I'm recording The Office. An hour long tonight! Oh goodness, I nearly typed WOOT and I HATE that word. I've been reading all you people for too long. *Gives woot users the evil eye*

Then of course, there is Lost and I hope we get to find out what in the WORLD happened to Claire and what's this business about moving the island means? For some reason I picture the island lifted up and these huge massive feet popping up and shifting over beside Brazil or something.

I know, I'm weird...


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