Well, I made it.
I'm here in Texas and I'm trying not to melt.
Obviously I knew it was hot here. But holy heck it is HOT. I came from Wyoming where it was just getting into the 80s. I am now in a state where it is 100 degrees.
My body is confused. It's all "WTF?"
But let me back up a bit. We took a shuttle to the airport that reeked of cigarette smoke. When we got to the airport my husband Tom texted me and asked what time my flight arrived.
See, I wasn't planning on really seeing Tom until the next day. Mainly because he's about 40 minutes from my parents house and he had to wake up early the next morning for his class graduation. So it just made sense for him to stay on the base. Plus he could save on gas, which his truck totally guzzles down.
I didn't think much of it when I called Tom back with my flight information. I just thought he was curious on when I'd get to Texas.
Anyhow, we managed to get through security and found our gate. We found a seat and this is when the fun began. Natalie didn't want to sit. She wanted to run around and play. I said no. She screamed. So it was no wonder why we had an entire row of chairs to ourselves--no one wanted to brave a risk of going deaf thanks to my daughter. There was a woman who sat down for all of five minutes but then Natalie screeched because one of her crayons broke--the woman immediately got up after that.
"I'm sorry," I told her. "She's two."
Finally it was time to board the plane. We got our seats and Natalie took great offense over the seat belt. I have no idea why. The second I buckled it she threw a fit and I firmly told her it was staying on. As I was struggling with her I felt eyes on me and realized this old woman sitting across the aisle was watching us intently. It was like we were her own personal entertainment. Like I'd tell Natalie that she WAS going to wear a seatbelt and Natalie would go, "NO!" and the lady would suck in her breath as though she were watching a soap opera or something. Then when I finally got Natalie to wear her seatbelt (it took 2 chocolates) the lady muttered, "It's on! It's on!"
Yeah. Seriously weird.
And she watched us most of the time. When the plane took off the lady eyed us and whispered, "Kids don't mind takeoff."
Then I put on a DVD for the kids and they mercifully got quiet. I was able to take out my magazine and read all about Sandra Bullock and how she met Jesse James. I swear the lady was trying to read over my shoulder. I heard her say, "Sandra Bullock was funny in Miss Congeniality." I'm not sure if I was supposed to respond or not.
I got to an article on orgasms and practically shoved the magazine against my nose so the lady wouldn't see. I didn't even WANT to know her comment on that one.
When we were about to land I had to put Natalie's seatbelt on again because she had wiggled out of it in flight. She took offense again and I swear the lady rubbed her hands in anticipation and mumbled, "Here we go."
Natalie threw a mini fit and the flight attendant came by and went, "That needs to be on."
"No crap!" I snapped and I swear I usually don't speak to people like that but at that point I had been fighting with her for about five minutes and my brow was sweaty and my mouth was dry because I was thirsty and I was nervous that we were going to crash because the plane started lurching funny.
The flight attendant who was in her early twenties and looked as though she were starved--she was TINY--shot me an evil look before flouncing off down the aisle.
I got Natalie's seat belt on by telling her that Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba was VERY angry and she stopped crying and allowed me to buckle her in.
"What's a Brobee?" creepy staring lady said softly.
Seriously. Was I supposed to talk to her?
I figured I should say something so I went, "Brobee is a character from Yo Gabba Gabba.." and the lady tossed me a bewildered look as though she wanted to say, "Why is she TALKING to me?"
Okay then. I needed OFF the plane. The lady officially had made me nervous.
But first we had to land and I swear, it didn't seem like it was a graceful land because we just DROPPED a few times and my stomach leaped out of my chest and I was gripping the armrests in fear. My kids weren't scared though. They kept going, "Weeee!" and I was thinking, "I should have ordered the jack and coke when beverages were rolling around.." Because seriously, I debated it but I was worried the flight attendant would shoot me a dirty look for drinking spirits in front of the children. So I just got a ginger ale.
Finally we touched down and I was tempted to kiss the ground. I didn't though. You know, germs and all. Oh, and people would probably think I was insane.
We headed towards the exit and rounded the corner and we spotted my Mom...
Could it be that my husband actually DOES have a romantic bone in his body?
(To be continued tomorrow. Don't have as much time on the computer here.)