First of all, thank you for the birthday wishes.
I had a good birthday.
For starters, when I woke up I noticed there was a blimp in the sky and got all excited.
How romantic! Tom paid for a blimp to pass by the house with a birthday message!
Have I mentioned that my mind isn't all there when I first wake up?
Obviously it wasn't a romantic blimp. It was just a military blimp I guess.
Still, I was determined to have a good birthday.
When the kids started fighting I calmly said, "You can't fight. It's my birthday."
There was a knock on the door at around 11. My heart swelled at first.
Maybe it IS a romantic blimp after all!
I opened the door and there was a woman in a FedEx uniform holding a box.
Okay. So no romantic blimp--but a package! I'd settle for a package. I love getting mail.
I noticed that the package was wrapped with tape that said Godiva.
"CHOCOLATE!" I screeched and made the poor woman jump. Her eyes widened and she looked at me as though I had just told her that I wasn't wearing any panties. I took the box and thanked her and she rushed off in fear.
But I couldn't help it. Chocolate excites me.
I immediately opened the package when I got inside. I wasn't sure who it was from. My husband? No, my husband isn't romantic. His idea of romance is letting me turn off his beloved military channel. Was it from my best friend Jennifer? She used to work at Godiva and maybe she still had connections....but...Jennifer already gave me a $25 gift card to Gymboree and she's not exactly swimming in money.
Maybe I had a secret admirer. Yes! Oh my God, what if John Krasinski or Michael Phelps stumbled onto my blog and became enamored by me and sent me a box full of chocolate as a birthday gift?
I searched the box for a card:
..and I found it wedged under the box of truffles. TRUFFLES!
Okay, so it was from my parents. But still. How nice of them! It was totally unexpected.
Look what I got! I immediately opened the truffles and ate three of them.
"Can I have one?" Tommy asked.
"Er...these chocolates are for adults only," I lied. I gave him a Hershey's Kiss instead. He looked a little annoyed with me but hello, these are Godiva truffles. They are not to be wasted on children.
I ended up eating most of the chocolates in about two hours. I couldn't help myself. I'd eat one and say, "Okay, this is enough, I need to make them last.." but then a few minutes later I'd be back hovering over the box and I'd be all, "It's my birthday...if I want another truffle then I'm going to have another truffle!"
I decided to order pizza for dinner because it's against the law to cook on your birthday. I was a little full from consuming all that chocolate but there is always room for pizza. Especially pizza from Papa Johns:
And I thought, you know, it's my birthday and there are no such things as calories on my birthday so I might as well order cheesesticks too:
I am in love with Papa John's garlic butter sauce. I think it's supposed to be for the crust but I dip the entire pizza in it.
If you thought I'd be full from that, well, you're mistaken.
Because then it was time for cake.
After the kids went to bed my house looked like this:
This is because I refused to clean on my birthday.
Because cleaning is forbidden on your birthday too. Didn't you know?