Thursday, July 16, 2009

The New Outfits

“I’m going shopping and I’m leaving the kids here,” I told Tom yesterday. I had just read in an article that it’s best to just tell the husband that you’re leaving the kids with him rather than just ask.

“Fine,” he answered, switching the channel to Spongebob. I can’t understand how a grown man can love a show about a sponge so much. Sometimes he says that he puts it on for the kids but a lot of the time the kids are off doing their own thing and it’s just him sprawled on the couch watching the television.

“I’m also going to Gymboree,” I continued. It was gymbuck redemption day. It basically means I get half off whatever I spend.

“Keep it under a hundred,” Tom replied, not bothering to take his eyes off the screen.

Actually, I was planning on spending less than that. But I didn’t say this. This way if there is another sale I can be all, "Well, I didn't spend the entire hundred, remember? So I still have like fifty leftover from that.."

“If you’re buying me clothes then I have to come,” Tommy piped up. He’s gotten really picky on what he wears. He's been telling me, "I don't want to dress like a nerd!" Does he even know what a nerd is? The last I checked, he thought nerds were a candy.

“Fine. You can come,” I said. Tommy isn’t the one who rushes me. He has his moments when he asks if we’re almost done but at least he doesn’t scream like his sister does. That is a total shopping buzz kill.

Tommy and I headed to the mall. I always stop by JC Penney because sometimes I can find some fabulous deals. I was in the middle of browsing a rack when this old lady walked by and said, “How nice! An older sister bringing her brother out.”

It took me a few seconds to realize that she was talking about us. I actually planned on just giving her a polite smile but then Tommy said,

“This isn’t my sister! This is my Mom!”

The old lady looked gobsmacked. Her eyes went huge behind her gigantic glasses. “You can’t be a Mom! You’re, what, sixteen?” she guessed.

I get this a lot. I know I look young for my age. And actually, it can be flattering. But sometimes I get tired of old ladies insisting that I’m too young to have children. It happens a lot. Suppose I did have a kid at sixteen? Then what? Would I get a mile long lecture? I’m never quite sure about this because I always say,

“Actually, I’m twenty seven.”

I said this to the old lady and she wrinkled her nose at me. “Are you sure?”

No. I’m not sure. I’m deranged and I go around telling people I’m twenty seven when I’m really sixteen.

Plus, if I were sixteen, this would mean that I would have had Tommy when I was, ew, nine.

“I’m positive.” I flashed the lady my biggest old-ladies-rock smile and willed her to go away. But she didn’t. She just stood there scrutinizing me as though I were about to break out into song or something. Now I know what animals at the zoo feel like.

I was about to offer to show her my driver’s license but then she meandered off into the women’s section.


“Why did that lady think you were my sister?” Tommy whispered at me. I think he was a little freaked out too.

“Because I look young,” I explained.

Tommy looked confused. “You don’t look young to me.”

Gee son. Thanks.

After that we headed off to Gymboree. Ahh, Gymboree. I recognized the woman behind the counter and said hello. They know me well there.

“Okay Tommy. You can pick something out,” I told him.

He sort of stood there beside me like a lump. This is how his father shops too. When Tom had to get some new shorts he stood there in confusion as though he were expecting all the store workers to rush over to him with various choices.

Sorry, Tom. Maybe if we ever strike it rich we can go into those fancy boutiques where you get to sit and sip champagne and watch as gorgeous people model outfits for you.

“Over here, Tommy,” I said and led him by the arm to his section.

He started going through a rack. “I don’t like ANY of these things,” he informed me seriously.

“Keep looking,” I prodded.

While he was flicking through shirts I kept hearing the strangest song in the background.

I’m a manatee! or something like that.

“What in the WORLD is that?” I muttered.

At least I thought I muttered it. But I guess I said it really loud because the store worker said, “Oh. I put on the store television in case your son wanted to watch.”

I craned my neck and saw that it was Veggie Tales. There was a singing cucumber on a boat.

I didn’t tell her that my son doesn’t even LIKE cucumbers to eat and probably would not like watching one sing a song. About a manatee.

“I’ll take this,” Tommy’s voice said over the irritating song. He shoved it in my arms. He's quick like his Daddy.

Then I headed over to Natalie’s section. I love shopping for little girls. Their clothes are the cutest things ever. Thank goodness I only have one girl. Otherwise I’d be broke.

It took me forever to figure out what outfit I wanted for her.

Did I want the red dress? She looks really good in red.

But...wait...this navy jumper is adorable with the matching beret! I’ve got to get that!

No! Look at this skirt! I have to get this skirt! But with what shirt?

Thank goodness Natalie wasn’t with me. Usually she’s running around the store like a crazed animal and I’m so busy chasing her that I barely have time to look.

Oh my gosh! Knee high socks! I’ve GOT to get Natalie knee high socks. But she’s short so the knee high socks would probably look like strange pants. Maybe she'd start a new fad and we'd get on E! and Guliana Rancic would interview us and be all, "How did you discover that knee high socks could be the new pants?" Then I'd be all, "Oh, I was in my favorite store Gymboree.." and I'd wink at the camera and would hope that the CEO of Gymboree would take that as his cue to send me boxes of free clothes..

Hey. A girl can dream.

Finally I settled on the navy jumper outfit.

When we got back home Tom was in the same position that I left him in. He was on the couch watching Spongebob. Natalie was no where to be seen.

“Where’s the baby?” I said. I have a habit of calling her the baby even though she’s two.

“Playing,” Tom responded.

“Playing WHERE?” Wasn’t he worried that she was attempting to jump out a window? Or playing with knives? Or..or..climbing into the dryer and turning it on?

It turns out she was just at the bookcase pulling out all my beautiful books that I had neatly arranged by genre.

“Natalie! Please. We don’t mess up Nicholas Sparks. How many times do I have to tell you that?” I said, taking away The Notebook from her grubby hands.

Then I wagged the Gymboree bag at her. “Do you want to try on your new outfit?”

I expected her to jump up and down and shriek, “Yes! Of course Mommy, OF COURSE!”

Instead she screamed, “NO!” and ran upstairs.


Tom found this hilarious.

I eventually coaxed her back down. I did not bribe. Fine, I bribed a little bit and promised her some ice cream after dinner. Actually, we were going to have ice cream anyhow but she didn't have to know that.

This is the outfit. You can't tell but those are weiner dogs on the collar. I showed it to Tom and he went, "Um. You hate dogs." Okay, I don't HATE dogs. I just worry that they're going to bite out my throat.

Doesn't she look impressed?

Clearly she thinks I'm nuts. What has this woman put on my head NOW?

She was telling me "all done, Mommy. All done."

So fine. I moved onto her brother's new shirt.

Doing a Zoolander pose. Or Bruno. I have no clue. He was all, "I'm just being handsome, Mommy." I didn't tell him that with his lips out like that that he reminded me of a fish.

Then Natalie had a fit because she wanted more pictures. Even though she had told me all done. I seriously think she's going through PMS early. Good gracious.

I changed her into the outfit that her Grandma bought her while in Texas:

And then, guess what?

She threw a fit! She didn't WANT to take pictures after all.

She was screaming, "ALL DONE! ALLL DONNNNNEEE!" The neighbors even poked their heads out to see what all the commotion was about.

So I sat her down and started speaking to her in calm but firm tones like Supernanny suggests. I explained that she wanted to take some pictures and that, by God, she was GOING to take some pictures. She was all, "WTF lady? What are you prattling on about now?"

Ten seconds later she was happy again and flashing me her belly button. I'm cool with this. It's when she flips up her entire shirt when I get nervous.

Belly buttons rock! Let's just keep ours unpierced, okay love?


  1. Posted A MAJOR AWARD at my blog for you! Go get it!

  2. Girls do have the cutest clothes. I wish I had one to dress up.

    I look youngish too. I get tired of all the other moms assuming I was an unwed teenage mom or talking down to me.

    Thanks for sharing the photos.

  3. I love your fashion shows, they make me so nostalgic. I loved Gymboree, too. Now my girls just want to shop at Hot Topic. Sigh.

  4. Gosh your two little ones are as cute as as cute as SpongeBob!

    Way cuter, actually.

  5. I can't wait to have a niece. My nephew is adorable, but a niece . . . The clothing possibilities are endless! I'm such a doting uncle it's ridiculous. Cute navy outfit on Natalie! :)

  6. I've been grinning throughout the whole post, how on earth do you do that?!

    Your children are so wonderfully beautiful!!! Tommy cracks me up with his fish lips!! But look at Natalie's eyes! Okay, so I don't need to tell YOU to look at Natalie's eyes... I am just exclaiming by typing.

    You know what I mean, right? Um.

    I'll be back momentarily.

  7. Do I even need to mention that I'm SO SO JEALOUS of the girl clothes you get to pick out?!? You know I'm working on my third boy ... and the clothes just are NOT as cute for boys, no matter where you get them.

    The kids are adorable, as always!!!

  8. the kiddos are so cute!
    love your post, like always!
    i smile through the whole thing :)
    i love gymboree too! my mom used to manage one, my sis was the best dressed little one around for years.

  9. Yeah, the PMS starts early. I would tell you it gets better, but I wouldn't want to give you any false hope. Wait until you and Natalie have PMS at the same time! It's lots of fun. :)

  10. hahaha! I can't wait for the day whe Haven tells me I look old! Great pics!

  11. I so love your love of all things Gymboree. I so need to go there more often.
    The kids are cute, cute and more cute.

  12. Those outfits are too cute! I love that jumper! I go crazy buying Maggie stuff - luckily for us we have a Children's Place outlet store so I get my fix for cheap!

  13. everyone looks supercute! i also hate age questions from strangers in relation to the kids.

  14. I used to be a slave to the gymbucks lol I'd go in the night before to save my stuff!you children are adorable!

  15. I know that Veggie Tales Song!

    Very cute outfits! I bet your kids are the best dressed kids on the in the neighborhood! :0)

    I used to get those kind of comments all the time. I remember once in my 20's I answered the door and some sales guy asked if my mother was home. I was not amused!

  16. Aww they're both so cute in their new clothes. I agree with what you read...just say "I'm leaving" and go. I've never asked if Stephen minded watching Maddie. He's her father, if he minds, then he shouldn't have knocked me up!

  17. Loved Natalies two outfits...too cute! and Tommy looks so handsome!

  18. Oh what cute outfits! Also, I do the same thing shopping. never let the man know what you intend to spend.

  19. i get the same thing with my kids all the time! no one believes me that i have 3 kids! and i LOVE the new outfits!! oh my word they are just too dang cute!!

  20. as always, i love the outfits. knkee high sock are my absolute FAVORITE for the girls right now! we rocked them all spring. and that is totally tommy's "blue steel" look. so cute!

  21. You seriously crack me up!! I was looking around for your blog the other day. I had not read any of your posts in a while. I just couldn't remember what the title was. I thought I lost you!!! Thanks for popping by today to leave a comment because it was really bugging me trying to find you.

    My boys are past the dressing up age :-(

  22. Bruno! Hah!

    Your kids are very cute, and I think Gymboree should sponsor you for all the advertising you do on this blog! I, for one, feel like going shopping there right now.

  23. I get that "you are too young" business all the time! Especially when I tote around both kids. I wish I had a bigger wedding ring just so I knew people could see it.

    And, your Natalie and Tommy both look awesome in their new clothes!

  24. So couture! Wish I had a cutie little lady to dress up:(! Thanks for hanging out with my dudes and me yesterday. Hope to see you soon!

  25. So cute, what a gorge outfit. I love your imaginary scenario about the knee highs too!!

  26. OMG are they cute or what?!?!? You have beautiful children!!!

  27. Those clothes are adorable! Your kids are beautiful! Who cares if some old lady thinks your their sister!

  28. They look absolutely adorable! But that cracks me up that you don't like dogs and bought them dog clothes! That would be like dressing my kids in cats.... ;)

  29. Tomorrow my post is about GYMBOREE! I am addicted to their store...I am going there tomorrow with my Gymbucks in my hand. It is really sad...but I pretty much knew what outfit you were talking about before I saw the pic...she looks so cute!

  30. I just found your blog from my friend Rachel's. Your blog is really cute!!! I love Gymboree too, it's so hard for me to not spend a fortune there, even when I have Gymbucks. :)
    Come by my blog to enter some fun giveaways! There are a few of them, and not many people have entered yet, so your chances of winning are really good!

  31. OMG, Natalie and Tommy should be doing Gymboree ads---these are gorgeous pics! As much as I love my little boy, there's a part of me that would love to have a little girl to shop for. And then I come to my senses. :)


Thanks for the comment!

Share This

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...