Wednesday, September 2, 2009

A New Schedule

I came downstairs this morning and there he was. All stretched out on the couch and watching a television program about Mussolini. Who wants to watch a program about Mussolini first thing in the morning?

“Tom,” I croaked, because my voice was still asleep. “I usually watch The Today Show when I wake up.”

Tom gestured to the TV. “I’m watching this.”

I shut my eyes briefly and then opened them. “I see that but I watch The Today Show in the morning. I’m interested to see if they have any new details on that poor girl who was kidnapped for 18 years.”

“You snooze, you lose!” Tom said cheerfully which basically means he has no heart because hello, where was his concern for the kidnapped girl??

Okay, so technically he got to the TV first fair and square. But still. I watch The Today Show in the morning. He knows this.

“When do you go to work again?” I asked with a nasty edge to my voice.

Because guess what? Tom is working a regular schedule now. It’s a foreign concept to me. Nearly our entire marriage, he worked a schedule of three days on, two days off, two days on, three days off. But then he went and cross trained to be a K-9 Handler and they are finally giving him a dog to work with. This means that he’s currently in training on how they handle things on this base which means that he works from Monday thru Friday from 8-5.

It’s weird.

I’m used to having him gone when I wake up.

Suddenly he’s here.

I’m used to having him gone during lunch time.

Suddenly he’s here.

He gets an hour lunch break and comes home and sort of seems baffled on what to eat.

“I don’t make a deal big about lunch, Tom,” I’ve explained to him. “Sometimes I just have cereal.”

“CEREAL?” he spit out the word as though it were dirty.

I think he honestly believes that I’m going to prepare a lunch. Me? The woman who doesn’t even like preparing dinner. Why in the world would I cook another meal?

“Well, most wives would,” Tom pouted starting his ‘most wives’ game that he likes to play. It’s annoying, really.

“Tom, we’ve already established that I’m not like most wives. So move on,” I said bluntly. This is true. I’m never going to be a wife that washes his uniforms. He has hands to do it. I already wash his underwear and that’s a chore in itself. I’m never going to cook him an elaborate lunch. Oh, I’ll be glad to stick a frozen meal in the microwave for him but that’s about it.

And also, when he comes home from lunch, am I meant to converse with him? Usually I’m darting around the house, cleaning stuff or hopping online. Do I have to stop and talk? When he first came home on Monday I perched myself on the couch.

“Er, so, how was your day?” I felt obliged to ask even though I usually inquire about this when he comes home for good in the evening.

“It’s going fine. I met the dog that I’ll be working with,” Tom answered.

A pause.

“Well, okay, I’m going on the computer,” I said and headed over.

“Don’t you want to talk?” Tom wondered.

Oh. Well. Not really. But I went back over anyway.

Then Tom reached over and switched the television channel to cartoons.

“I don’t watch cartoons,” I said, trying to grab the remote back. I mean, hello? Who wants to sit around watching The Penguins of Madagascar?

“This show is hilarious,” Tom assured me.

“I watch Inside Edition,” I fumed.

But Tom was already enthralled in the show. So I got up and started walking away.

“Don’t you want to talk?” he called out.

“No. You’re watching cartoons,” I replied. “I’ll talk to you when you get home from work. Like I usually do.”

“But I’m home right now!” Tom argued.

For heavens sake! At that point Natalie was down for her nap which meant that it was QUIET TIME. It meant no talking. I like to do my chores and enjoy the silence and relish in the fact that I don’t have a kid wanted to “help” which means that the chore takes twice as long. Then I usually go on the computer or read my book.

“We’ll talk later, I promise,” I told Tom and started to do the dishes.

It’s just weird having him around so often. And now he’ll be home every weekend. I’m used to him working every other weekend. He’s going to be expecting lunch even though I usually just make Cinnamon Buns for Sunday lunch. But when I mentioned this to Tom he made a face and went, “Cinnamon Buns aren’t lunch!”

Yes they are! They certainly can be lunch. There are no set rules for lunch!

I love him very much, I do, but I’m just used to my schedule, you know?

And I am so tired of having cartoons on the TV. And if it’s not cartoons, it’s the dreaded Military Channel where I have to sit and watch an entire show about tanks. TANKS! It’s just as boring as it sounds. He claims that The Today Show is boring but at least that show is informative. I mean, today I learned all about how people are starting to raise chickens in their backyard. It was fascinating. Okay, not really, but it WAS more interesting than learning about a Sherman Tank at least....


  1. Hi! If you have cable modem or DSL, you could probably watch your shows on your computer... I'm just saying... I don't know HOW but I konw it can be done! :)

  2. Yeah, my husband does all our laundry. I'm not a normal wife either.

  3. LOL....converse during normal business hours!! i dont like when schedules are all jacked up either

  4. I guess it could be worse - he could have a cell phone and call you - or you could have two computers and he'd being IM'ing you or sending you tweets.

    I wonder how you do that eye waggle thing in a text message?

  5. i totally back you on the whole Cinnamon Bun thing... they so are lunch! too funny!!

  6. Shane used to have every other Friday off... in order to do so, he worked 9 hour shifts. He usually got home between 5:30 and 6:00.

    But he got tired of working so late... so he now works a normal 8-hour shift every day. Which means he is home by 4:00 EVERY DAY.

    I don't like it one bit.

  7. My wife sounds a lot like you. When I first arrived in the country, she'd make me lunch and iron me the occasional shirt.

    A week later, it was back to normal. Me and the iron... best friends now.

  8. I made the mistake of showing Paul how to text. When he's working he will text me non-stop during his lunch break, or whenever he gets a chance. I get irritated as heck when he has the gall to ask, "So what are you doing?". What in the world can I do when he's texting every few minutes but sit there and answer him. Not much else is getting done.

    Hopefully you and Tom will fall into a routine soon. (Hugs)Indigo

  9. Okay, doesn't Tom know that what "most wives" do has actually changed into what "most wives" DON't do?

    Lunch? What is that? I'm with ya on the cereal.

    And on the schedule thing. I hate my husband messing with my schedule too!

  10. You should post a copy of your daily schedule somewhere in plain sight, on some bright ass poster board, where there is no way he can miss it. When he gives you any lip, simply point at the schedule and say, "AHEM . . . What time is it?" Oh yea . . . Make sure to at least schedule five minutes for him. :)

  11. oh GOD forbid my husband's schedule EVER changes....I'd probably fling myself from our 2nd story window...yea I'm not trying to die ya know...I can't even take ONE day when he decides to play hooky from work or has a dr appt.....tell him that he has to OBEY your rules and that means Today Show and Inside Edition!!!

  12. Oh girl, I feel your pain! Curtis's schedule changes MONTHLY - one month he'll be on nights, next month he'll be on days. Sometimes it's 5 days a week, sometimes it's the 2-3-3-2 schedule or whatever. And each time, the kids and I have to readjust to his routine. Exhausting!!

    And really, is there any such thing as what "MOST wives" do these days? Where's Tom getting his info? LOL

  13. I feel your pain. Well, er, I FELT your pain. My husband's job was in Washington, D.C., while we lived in IL. He would fly home every other weekend. Then, I'd have to "hand over" the reigns, per say. Most times I hated it, some times I couldn't wait to hand them to him. I was used to making all the decisions while he was gone. It only got hairy when I had a troubled teen-aged son. Then I could hardly take it on my own. But finally that time in Washington ended and he came back to his regular job in IL.

    Now we are living in 400 sq. feet together 24/7. It was VERY DIFFICULT at first. After four years of this life, my every thought isn't in how I'm going to kill him and where will I bury his body? LOL!

    I agree with making a poster and showing him the time schedule. He's a military man! He knows all about following schedules!

  14. no one makes lunch, that's crazy :)

  15. Tom would not like my house...

    I don't cook dinner. I don't clean very often. I DO have sex about when ever he wants...

    and this is all he seems to really care about :-) All is well in our home.

    Put some old batteries in the remote for fun.

  16. When my grandfather retired he started following my grandmother around the house telling her that she was doing everything the wrong way (cooking, cleaning, etc). She almost killed him.

  17. husband is a teacher (so am I...but I teach online from home) and I usually want to smother him with his pillow the first 2 weeks of summer because of almost exactly the same things you just described. And then come August, I don't want him to go back!

  18. I so know what you mean. By Monday morning, I am SO ready for Jeff to go back to work all day. And if he is even on vacation for a week with nothing planned, heaven help me.

  19. I do not believe I would like that situation at all!

  20. Lunch!?! Who makes lunch?!?

    And cinnamon buns are SO lunch.

    Lunch... (shakes head and looks at ground in confusion)

  21. I know, I know. My hub's retired and I had to quote the lovely Rosalyn Carter when she told Jimmy (remember him-- former President of the U.S.???) lovingly, I'm sure:

    For better or for worse, but not for lunch!

    I blogged about this a couple of weeks ago. Check it out-- it's worth it if only for the picture:

  22. ha! i totally know what you mean!
    my fiance is not home all that much and when he is i don't know what i'm "supposed" to be doing. i usually clean, do laundry or mainly just sit on the comp and watch tv! haha!
    when he is home i feel that i gotta be cooking dinner and hanging out watching whatever he picks on tv! thankfully it is NOT cartoons! but it is usually sports and golf puts me straight to sleep along with whatever other sports there are ;)

  23. Last year, my husband started having Fridays off. The first week, it was thrilling. The day was filled with plans and optimism. The second week, I asked him if this was going to be forever. Then I resigned myself to the idea that oh, god, this was going to be forever! So I absolutely get the whole post, the TV and the talking and the planning. It is exhausting!

  24. My husband uses the "other wives do it" thing all the time. I always point out that yeah, and other husbands do this. It usually shuts him up.

  25. lol. I made pancakes for lunch today. I know how you feel.

  26. i feel your pain! my husband is laid off right now, so our schedule (read "my computer time") is all screwed up. he does get up earlier than me though, so i can't really complain too much!

  27. i feel your pain! my husband is laid off right now, so our schedule (read "my computer time") is all screwed up. he does get up earlier than me though, so i can't really complain too much!

  28. Very cute, I'll be back.

    My husband and daughter are history freaks and love the Military channel...I feel your pain.


  29. I feel your pain...well at least I'm going to. My husband has been working crazy hours, out of town no less. And all that ends this week! I'm excited to have him home to help at the end of the day, but HELLO this is my space and my time and I don't want to share or make dinners or clean up after him!! There's my rant! We will make it through this...ALIVE.....somehow.

  30. cook lunch???? he's lost his mind! and the girl that was kidnapped... the place that she was kept is so close to me! FREAKY STUFF!!!

  31. No wife makes lunch please inform Tom of that! Nobody I know! Sucks when they invade your turf. You need another TV end of story.

  32. I totally understand. Husbands need to stay on the schedule we are accustomed to and stick with it. Otherwise, it tends to mess with our schedule which is obviously vitally important.

    Please don't get me started on The History Channel and The Military Channel.

  33. LOL - you poor thing! I know what you mean when you get used to "your" schedule - it knocks things all out of whack when the hubster comes home and tries to start interfering in your routine -it can be quite annoying for sure! I've been married almost 12 years now and still lose patience with mine when he's home messing up my schedule and all he wants to do is have family time - poor thing! LOL I think A Mom on Spin said it best - "God help us all when they retire" is RIGHT! UGH! Hope things get better for you! You can always go to "Hulu" or "Hula" (not sure which it is) on your computer and watch all of your tv shows for free! Big hugs! Trac~ :o)

  34. I feel ya sister.

    I'd raise my own chickens if we could do such a thing in military housing. That way I knew my eggs came cruelty free.... they do awful things to chickens at those big farms!

  35. Good mornning from SITS! I think you are hilarious & love your writing style!

  36. I know just how you feel. I'm a keep-to-schedule fanatic so it was AWFUL when hus retired. He got under my feet ALL the time AND started giving advice on how to do jobs. It got better eventually when I joined the WI and got a life of my own OUTSIDE the house. He does ALL the housework and cooking now. Yippee! As for telly, get a little portable and watch your own.

  37. I've killed for less. You might want to consider getting another TV now - unless you are secretly starting to enjoy the military channel.

  38. I feel for you. My husband has a million vacation days so he took a ton this summer thinking he'd 'help me out' since the boys were out of school. HA!

    I can't tell you how many times I asked him when he was going back to work...ugh!

  39. Hi! Popping over from SITS to visit.

    I have one thing to say. Get another tv!! Seriously. It has saved our marriage!

    Okay, not really. But my husband will come home and do the same thing. I'll be right in the middle of a movie or something and then he'll say "Nascar is on." Or "Brett Favre is playing" and I'll say, "so... why don't you go into the bedroom and watch it?" ;) Or sometimes I'll let him have the big screen and go into the bedroom and turn on my movie.

    Isn't it funny how a small change in our routine can kind of throw us off though? These hubbies, who we dearly love, just automatically think that we should be thrilled they are suddenly around more often.

    Have a happy Thursday!

  40. So funny. I totally get it. My husband worked days for years, then he worked 7pm-7am for 6 years and now is back on days. I was used to watching all my programs at night. Now I have to share, or one of us goes to the bedroom to watch. I think it should be him, but now that football is starting, it will be me. I don't like change.

  41. It took a bit of getting use to when my hubby went from working 2nd shift to working 1st shift, its been 6months and we are still adjusting!

    Sassy Chica

  42. Just stopping by from SITS! FABULOUS blog!
    Come by and check out my "5 DAYS OF GIVE-A-WAYS" @

  43. Don't kill me. I make my hubby lunch when he is home. When he is "out in the field" I pack his lunch. I am not a normal wife.

    But he does know not to mess with my schedule. ;0)

  44. My husband sometimes works from him and I have to admit that I actually prefer him to work away from home. I have my set routine with the kids all day and when he's home, he throws everything off. I totally get it!

  45. my husband expects my whole world to revolve around him when he's home. he's gone 4 days a week, its been a year, i hated it at first but for good and bad reasons i've adjusted. i just know that for those 3 days he's home it's HUSBAND/DAD time. Otherwise its pout and silent treatment time...

  46. What the..? Other wives make lunch for their husbands? In what world, his fantasy world? I don't know a single wife that makes lunch for their husbands that come home for it. Most everyone I know just has sandwiches, fast food or leftovers. I love to cook but hate cleaning up and I think if I had to clean up the kitchen twice a day, I'd go insane.


Thanks for the comment!

Share This

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...