Tuesday, October 27, 2009

When I Was Sick....

I woke up on Saturday and I knew right away.

I was sick.

My mouth felt as though I had been sucking on a cotton ball all night.

My head throbbed.

My nose was all plugged up.

When I shuffled downstairs I found Tom on the couch with Natalie.

“Good morning,” Tom said, not bothering to tear his eyes away from the screen. Spongebob was on after all.

“Fkljdafklj,” I mumbled, heading for the kitchen to get some water. When I walked back out with my glass of water, Tom took a good look at me.

“GEEZ!” he said, jumping slightly.

“What?” I croaked.

“You look….you don’t look well,” Tom finally admitted.

Well duh. I already knew that my hair was standing up on end and that my eyes were bloodshot. My already pale skin looked even paler.

“I’m sick,” I complained.

Tom made a face as though he were worried that I was going to infect him. “Then go back to bed. You’re scaring Natalie!”

“I am not scaring—” I began, but then I saw Natalie cowering back against Tom and gazing at me in horror. “Fine. I’ll go.”

So I went back upstairs and passed by Tommy’s bedroom. He was building Legos and when he saw me he did a double take.

“Mommy? Are you dying?” he asked bluntly. He’s been really interested in death lately. The other day he swallowed his food wrong and started coughing and in between the coughs he wailed, “I don’t want to die now!” He’s sort of like that kid on Kindergarten Cop who is all, “Everyone dies you know.”

“I’m not dying, Tommy. I’m just sick. I’m going to lie down,” I explained.

Tommy surveyed me with a wrinkled nose. “Do you have the swine flu?” He’s learned about that through school.

“No, Tommy. I just need to rest.”

“Have you been washing your hands? You have to wash your hands, otherwise you’ll get sick,” Tom prattled on, following me.

“I washed my hands, Tommy,” I assured him as I climbed onto the bed.

“I’ll tuck you in,” Tommy said generously. His version of tucking me in was tossing the blankets over my head. “There!” He said to my covered ear. “You’ll be extra warm this way.”

That’s how Tommy sleeps. I’ll go in and check on him before I head off to bed and he’s always covered from head to toe.

“Thank you, Tommy,” I said, my voice muffled.

“You’re welcome, Mommy,” Tommy said grandly before he left the room.

I can’t sleep with covers over my head so I pushed them down under my armpits. I fell asleep soon after that. When I woke up, I found Tom in the kitchen. And he was…cooking?

“You’re not supposed to be up now. I was going to surprise you with devilled eggs,” Tom lectured, wagging his finger. (I love devilled eggs by the way. I just hate making them.)

My eyes scanned the room. The kitchen was…clean. The night before I had left the dishes from the brownies. Now they were all washed. The counters had also been scrubbed.

“You cleaned!” I said. I would have leaped in the air from excitement but I didn’t have the strength.

“And cooked,” Tom added, pointing to some eggs that were boiling on the stove.

“You cleaned,” I repeated.

“And cooked,” Tom said again.

I thanked him and then settled down on the couch. Natalie was down for her nap so I was looking forward to catching up on some DVRed shows. But then Tom all of a sudden came in and swiped the remote control.

“Want to watch Spongebob?” he asked seriously.

I was confused. None of the kids were in the room. Natalie was sleeping and Tommy was outside with his friends. Why in the world would I want to watch a child’s cartoon?

“No thanks,” I said sweetly. “I’m going to watch my recorded Grey’s Anatomy.”

Tom switched the channel to Spongebob. “Let’s watch this.”

“I don’t want to watch Spongebob!”

Tom frowned at me. “Well, I don’t want to watch Grey’s. Someone always cries in that show. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an episode where someone wasn’t crying. It’s like, hey doctors, grow some balls and deal with it.”

I glared at him. “Sometimes they cry because a patient has been through so much and they just want to HELP the patient.”

Tom rolled his eyes. “Whatever. The show sucks.” He gestured to the TV with the remote. “Now Spongebob on the other hand makes sense.”

I gaped at him. “How? In this episode Spongebob and Patrick are raising a baby clam! That makes no sense!”

“It makes perfect sense! It’s hilarious!”

I groaned. “Just…watch what you want. I’ll read.”

Then later on I put some bratwurst on the Foreman Grill. I couldn’t have one. The smell made my stomach turn.

I asked Tom if he could clean the Foreman Grill so I could go rest and this is when he got a hissy fit.

“I’ve been busting my ass today. How much more do you want me to do?” Tom complained.


I gave him the finger. I would have started one of my favorite passionate speeches on how hard I work on a daily basis but the room started to spin and I had to lie down on the couch. I really don’t think the speech would have gone well had I collapsed on the floor, you see.

Tom apologized soon after that. I pretended not to see him when he first walked into the living room.

“Amber,” he said, standing in front of me.

I stared in the other direction. Yes, I can behave like a child.

“Amber,” Tom tried again.

Lalala, you don’t exist.

“Amber.” Now Tom stuck his face right in front of mine. He really does have pretty blue eyes. But…I couldn’t think about that. I was mad at him. Busting his ass, indeed.

“I’m sorry. But you have to understand that I work hard during the week and—” he started.

“Do you think I don’t work hard? Tom, I take care of a household, two kids and a cat who thinks it’s funny to puke all over the place. I have a two year old who attacks me, a seven year old who continuously asks me questions about death….and I don’t even get to PEE alone!” I wailed.

Tom blinked at me. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“And I’m sick so you should want to help me. When you’re sick you act like a total baby and expect me to cater to you,” I pointed out.

Tom made a face “I don’t think I act like a baby.”

I nodded. “You do! You speak in a higher pitched voice that grates on my nerves and act as though you’ve lost a limb or something.”

Tom still looked perplexed. “I don’t recall…”

“You do. Trust me.”

Tom sighed and gathered me into his arms. “I love you. Even if you do have crazy hair and smell like sweat.”

My jaw dropped open. “I do not smell like sweat.”

Tom sniffed me. “I beg to differ.”

The good news is, the next day I woke up feeling better. And now I’m nearly 100% again save for a stuffy nose.

I may have to bake some cookies to celebrate.


  1. Awww.. you poor thing - I'm sorry you were so sick but glad you are feeling better now despite the stuffy nose still. I hope if you do make cookies that you can at least smell and taste them so you can enjoy them too. :o) And what is it with men - yeah, they work full-time but when they get home they don't do anything else(most men anyway) and a woman's (mom's) work is NEVER done-they work 24/7 and never get a day off even for sickness! Get better dear! :o) xoxoxo

  2. glad you are feeling better, sounds nasty what ever you had.

    Gee a husband takes care of things for one day and they are heros...I would have given him the finger too.

  3. Ha! Well at least you managed to get back to bed for a bit. I really like your blog - stop by mine if you have a moment!!

  4. Glad you're feeling better Amber. And kudos to Tom for his efforts ... even if men DON'T admit they act like wimps when they're ill!

  5. I'm glad you are feeling better. Sounds like one day is about his limit for picking up the slack.

  6. Go on strike. I did. Next time he's sick, don't lift a finger for him at all. Set up a hidden video camera. Catch him being all whiny and show him. :)

  7. After Tom's little tirade, I'd bake him some Pillsbury brownies.

  8. Paul and I have a similiar debate on brownies he doesn't like nuts in his. I love nuts in mine. He knows better than to complain though, I'll just put more nuts in.

    I dread getting sick. The house literally stands still, the dishes don't get done, laudry piles up and every available surface has either a balled up napkin or glass on it. Oh, Paul will gladly order food that I can't eat, just don't think anything else is getting done. (Hugs)Indigo

  9. Hey, it sounds to me like you have a winner. My husband wouldn't have shooed me off to bed so quickly. Nor would he have done the dishes and made devilled eggs! But it still sounds like he was an ass, esp. for not letting you catch up on Grey's---wasn't it good, btw??? I feel like it's redeeming itself this season (last season was starting to bug me and so this season is the make-or-break-me season). Hope you're back to 100% soon!

  10. I still can't get over that fact that he cleaned. That is amazing.

    Glad you are feeling better.

  11. Glad you are feeling better and lucky you for being able to go back to bed!

  12. Glad you're feeling better. Hubby is either great at taking care of me when i'm sick or he immediately leaves the country - literally. *sigh*

  13. Oh no, you need to milk this for what it's worth! You are still sick! wink wink

  14. After your hub said that you smelled like sweat, if it were me, I would've put him in a headlock and stuck his face in my armpit and asked him how he thought I smelled then... but that's just me... haha

  15. Make sure they're NOT Duncan Hines cookies!!!! *evil laugh*

    Seriously, it was nice of him what he started out to do. It was not nice of him to complain about what MORE he had to do, but he does sound like a sweetie.

    Next time there is a 75% off sale at Target, check out a small TV. So he can watch his spongebob on it while YOU get the couch and watch your DVR shows!

  16. My husband hates Grey's too. Sometimes, it makes me question our union...

  17. So glad that you're feeling better....men are such babies sometimes!

  18. I am feeling that way today minus the stuffy nose...but no one was hear to send me back to bed...darn

  19. I hate to agree with Tom, but I'd take Sponge Bob over Grey's any day!

  20. I'm glad you're feeling better. and there is nothing more pitiful than a sick man. Nothing.

  21. “I’ve been busting my ass today. How much more do you want me to do?”

    Oh. My. Hell! If I have to hear that one more time!!! I think I will totally go bonkers! My hubby cooks all the time; and he thinks that "frees" him from any other duties! WTH? Who is, normally, washing his undies, cleaning the toilets, dealing with the school.... you get my drift.

    Yeah - make the brownies/cookies. The kind YOU like!

  22. Oh yes cookies. Or more brownies but definitely not Duncan Hines. I'm just not sure if he deserves them yet.

  23. I don't even know where to start! Let's just say I could have written this post!!

  24. Glad you're feeling better. I've never seen Sponge Bob lol

  25. sponge bob has no educational purpose, it probably makes kids less smart, a sponge and a starfish raising a clam!! haha!! i have watched that episode, more than once....had to admit it ;) my nephew loved that show, when he was one. i hope it doesn't have any long term effects...hehe.

    glad you are feeling better hun!!

  26. Glad your feeling better. and I have to say that your Hubby is a KEEPER!!!

  27. It's funny what a woman can handle when she's sick compared to a man when he's sick. I've got to give credit to Tom for doing the dishes, and making your favorite dish, though.

    But Sponge Bob? Seriously?

  28. cook brownies instead. Duncan Hines for sure

  29. Yep, that sounds like a universal... I could have a heart-lung transplant, and CoTU wouldn't give me the kind of attention he got after a routine colonoscopy!

    But really--- SpongeBob??? On purpose???

  30. Glad you're feeling better. And glad you retold the whole story in humorous format so we could all enjoy you on your death bed. :D

  31. So glad you're feeling better! There is nothing worse than that icky sick feeling. And a man who insists that HIS job is harder than ours!! My husband is wonderful... but he drives me crazy because I don't think he gets that being a SAHM is equivilent to working TWO full-time jobs! He only has ONE full-time job!

  32. Glad to hear you are feeling better. Make sure to load up on Vitamin C this awful cold/flu season! Take care...Kori xoxo

  33. Well, it took Tom a while to get there, but he ended up being really sweet. You should be proud of him. Glad you're feeling better.

  34. I think you should make Tom clean up after you make the cookies :) I have one in my house who acts like he lost a limb, too. Ridiculous! Glad you're feeling better

  35. Glad you're feeling better. That's nice that he cooked and cleaned, even though he used it for leverage in a disagreement later on...men...UGH. We cook and clean for them EVERY SINGLE DAY. They do it one day and think they should get a medal and put on a pedestal for it.

  36. Remember to pamper the armpits today. Glad you feeling betta.

  37. Glad you are better but I might have worked it a couple more days and get some more cooking and cleaning out of Tom!Men are such babies when they are sick!

  38. Stopping by from SITS. Loved this post. My husband is total baby when he is sick. Definitely a guy thing. So glad you are feeling better.

    P.S. I'm a Grey's fan too. I just can't get over George being gone. He was probably my favorite.

  39. I'm just going to let you know that Tom will never get it. Even after 20 years of marriage he will never get how hard you work. And he will always act like a baby when sick. It's how they are wired. You are very lucky though that he at least did some cleaning and cooking(?). Usually, when I'm sick the house ends up looking like a tornado went through.

    Glad you're feeling better!

  40. I think a little of that "watch spongebob with me" was... like "after about 5 minutes of the wailing baby clam you would rather pretend you were feeling all better than be sick"...

    :) Tom knows some heavy duty mind-tricks...

  41. You cooked sausage while sick? You deserve some kind of freakin' metal!!!


  42. I love that your husband thinks that Spongebob makes sense! I secretly have that show with like 4 'thumbs down' so it never, ever records.

    I'm sneaky like that.


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