Thursday, November 12, 2009

The New Computer Game

So Tom bought the new Call of Duty game.

I always hate when he gets a new game.

When he gets a new game, he hogs the computer and we live in the Stone Age and don’t have wireless internet so I barely get to go online.

When he gets a new game, all his focus is on it. I could walk out butt naked and he wouldn’t notice. Believe me, I’ve tried this before.

When he gets a new game, he curses. A lot. Then he looks surprised when Natalie says, “You shithead!” He’s all, “Where did she learn that?” Seriously, Tom? Seriously? I just wonder.

I get fed up when he spends hours on a game and I tell him so.

“It’s time for you to get off the computer,” I’ll say.

“Why?” he’ll answer.

“Because you’ve been on for four hours and quite frankly, it’s not fair. I would love to spend four hours playing Sims but I can’t,” I’ll explain.

I’ve asked him not to use foul language but does he listen? No, the other players on the game are all *bleep bleep bleepers* and oh, they all apparently cheat too.

He goes online to play with other people and every few seconds you hear, “That’s CHEATING! You can’t just stand there at my spawn point! That’s CHEATING!”

I am so sick of hearing him. His new schedule is that he works three days and then he gets three days off. So he was off yesterday, he’s off today and he’s off tomorrow.

I want him to go back to work so I can have some silence. So I don’t have to hear, “HE'S CHEATING!” every few seconds.

Here’s a thought Tom: maybe they aren’t cheating. Maybe you just SUCK.

Then when he finally pulls himself off the game he starts to talk to me about it.

“I hate when everyone doesn’t stay together. They all go off and do their own thing. We have to STICK TOGETHER,” and here he’ll slap his palm with his fist for emphasis, “or else we’re going to keep losing. We need a PLAN, you know?”

“No, I don’t know, Tom. I don’t play games like that,” I’ll remind him but he doesn’t care. He’ll keep going on about tactics, and cheaters, and tactics, and cheaters...

So if your husband plays the new Call of Duty game and happens to be cheating, please tell him to stop, okay?

Then maybe I’ll get a little peace around here.

To cheer myself up, I’m sharing some pictures. I’m also doing this to bug Tom. He keeps asking if I’m almost done with the computer so now I’m deliberately taking my time.



Here is Natalie's reaction to taking some pictures. She's all, "Say WHAT?" She's wearing Gap. Sometimes I cheat on Gymboree with Gap.



I started to sing creepy Yo Gabba Gabba songs and a smile was beginning to come out....



Crap, maybe not. I was doing a dance and nearly fell on my butt and Natalie was all, "That's NOT how the song goes."



Ahh, here's a smile. She's blowing a few kisses.



It's Dancey Dance time!



Natalie was just as confused as to why Modern Family and Cougar Town were replaced by the CMAs too. Couldn't the CMAs be put on the freaking country channel or something?



I started to dance around around again.

(No, Tom. I'm NOT almost done with the computer. Lalala....this...is....me...taking....my....time...)





Should I be concerned that Natalie always wants to lift up her shirt when I take pictures? Stay away from Joe Francis, sweetie:

53 comments:

  1. Love this post! Holy shit, I think your hubby and you and related to my hubby and me...we go through the same gaming thing around here (except my husband isn't going on and on about cheating, plenty of other stuff though), and I deliberately take extra time when I'm on the computer just to keep him off his games! Natalie is waaay too cute, and that's pretty hilarious about the "flashing"! My son is the same way, he's always flashing his booty!

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  2. So for his birthday this year, my husband wanted a Wii. I balked. He said if I didn't get him a Wii, he didn't want anything, period. He really, really, REALLY wanted a Wii.

    I didn't get him one. And I let him know that for now, we will not be getting one. I can't stand how addicted he is to tv, and this would only make it worse---and he has enough other hobbies, i.e. golf, seasons tix to Chiefs games, etc...he doesn't need to spend hours in front of the tv playing video games.

    I'm glad he respected my stance on it because the reality is he could've gone out and bought one himself. But that wouldn't have been pretty.

    Speaking of pretty, your Natalie is just gorgeous! She should be in Gap/Gymboree ads!

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  3. Oh, why do I drink my coffee when reading your posts. I think I will have to find a "PUT ALL BEVERAGES ASIDE" button to mark you with. Way too funny. I love the fact that you tease him the way you do. He sounds like my 13 year old when he plays the video games only he eats soap if he were to talk like that. It comes out more "what the fffff?, sorry" "You aaaaaaaa, nevermind" and stuff like that.

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  4. I'm poor, but when I do get some money, I will be getting this. Tell Tom to look out for a UK guy with some killer ninja moves.

    I will get revenge for you....

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  5. OMG!I feel your pain w/ the new "Call of Duty"!! It really does make the worse come out in them,but Thank-"GOD" he has the family room in the basement! My girls are not allowed down there most of the time when he's playing b/c of the cussing.And i'm soooo thankful that he found his bluetooth mic.,that he swore I lost!! Right b/c I play when your working! PLEASE!! There is alot of cheating.UGH!! Duh,when you got 30 something year old pothead living in your basement,playing it 24/7!! lol lol I say that b/c one gamer is and proud of it. lol You so need to tell us Tom's gaming name,that will really mess w/ him! lol

    Anyhow,Natalie is sooo cute in that outfit.And just w/ a name like that! lol My 2 1/2 year old walks around asking,if you want to see her boobies.Um,no thanks! And she surely does not get that from me.lol

    Natalie,

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  6. These men and those video games! They get so immersed in them that they don't even know what they're doing. I pity you for these 3 days.

    Natalie is adorable!

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  7. Bahahahhahhaha! I think I just fell in love with you. Thanks for posting eleventy hundred pictures of that precious little girl with the oh so cute outfit from The Gap on just to keep your hubby from the computer. Bawahahahahahaha! Did I tell you I love you yet? :D

    And maybe for Christmas you should purchase your hubby an XBox 360 and make sure to get him to play online LIVE so he can play his games and you can blog uninterrupted. See- a gift for both of you!

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  8. Hahahaha! My hubster complains about cheaters on that game all the time too.

    I was also bummed about not getting to watch Modern Family and Cougar Town. :(

    Natalie is a doll!

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  9. oh.crap. is this what i have to look forward to? my s/o has requested C.o.D. for xmas....meanwhile, he's still addicted to HALO...luckily he has his XBOX260 or else we'd have problems if he was hogging the PC...as it is, i tell him that he cant have both the laptop AND the big screen TV on sundays....its either or. something about fantasy football and stats...blah blah blah blah....

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  10. Join the crew, I effin' hate that game. My husband says it's relaxing. Sure doesn't SOUND relaxing!

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  11. Maybe instead of walking in front of him butt-naked you need to perfect the "Natalie 'Thow me your Mardi Gras beads' Flash"...

    Someday she's gonna come home with suitcases full of beads...

    p.s., she is so durn cute! I love that smile of hers.

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  12. I love the blowing kisses picture....and the fact that you kept using more computer time! Ha...take that, Tom!

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  13. Oh, so mean hogging the computer when your husband wants to play his game! LOL!! Fortunately, my husband just checks a few websites, mostly sports news and some forums, his email and then I have it back again. I am the hog in our house.

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  14. More great pics of Natalie. She really is a cutie. My sons play Call of Duty. I hope they aren't cheating. :)

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  15. This is why Im glad my hubs isnt computer literate enough to play games on the computer

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  16. My brother is the same way! It drives me nuts when I'm visiting and he's screaming into the microphone like it's real life. Argh! Cute outfit on Natalie! You need to get that kid into modeling! I know, I know . . . She hates taking pics, but if you're there doing Yo Gabba Gabba for her . . .

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  17. She is so cute! Oh, and you make me super glad that Corey has no interest in any type of computer game!

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  18. Ha! That's great that she'll smile for Yo Gabba Gabba (I'm sure Tom loves that, Ha!). She's just like my daughter with that show, I swear she's got an inner raver. But Joe better stay far away from our girls.

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  19. I'm getting ideas with your commenters mentioning the X260 box. I wonder.

    Natalie is SO beautiful!! And you've got the right idea-- take your sweet old time with the computer!! 3 days on, 3 days off? you poor thing!

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  20. I have relegated my husband's PlayStation to his office upstairs. Really it's a win/win! My bigger problem? Baseball playoffs. He insists on watching every pitch if his precious Yankees are in it. Thank goodness for Hulu.

    Love, love the pictures of Natalie. She is quite photogenic!

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  21. Very cute pictures!

    My husband is pretty into NFL football (which I could happily never see again in my entire life).

    But at least it's only one day a week.

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  22. For some reason, your comment button hates me today...

    MY husband is addicted to good ol' COD, too. But HE just complains that everyone he plays with is a moron. I've never heard him say that they cheat. Lucky for us, he has his OWN computer. In the BASEMENT. FAR AWAY from me. So while it IS annoying that he isn't helping, at least I can't hear him complaining about how HARD it is to sit on his ARSE and play a game all day ;)

    I also used to be addicted to The Sims. *sigh* That was BEFORE baby... I miss that game, but at this point I think I'd just be like 'Just leave the baby on the floor, whatever. If you don't clean your OWN mess, then you'll just have to be unhappy.' And where is the fun in that?

    Nat is, of course, adorable...

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  23. oh wow i am so glad that my fiance doent get into that stuff! I would go nuts with out my computer and he knows this! I'm surpised he doesnt try it just to get at me! Love them photos of your little one she is a doll baby!

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  24. Natalie is so dang cute! I love all the pictures too funny your Joe Francis comment I love it.

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  25. That was such a great post! As I was looking at those pictures of your darling little girl, I could almost hear Tom asking you to hurry up and get off the computer already!

    I'm so thankful my husband doesn't play video games but he does tie up the computer for hours at a time editing his book! Drives me crazy!

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  26. Oh my god, my husband just got a new xbox game too. He comes home while I'm watching tv and says "Poob, don't get to comfortable, I've got to save the world in about half hour." Uh huh. Then he spends all night on the xbox.

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  27. My husband does not play computer games so there is no problem sharing (my kids are another story) butttttt... it also means he doesn't understand my computer time... sigh

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  28. I think you may be getting my husdband you your husband mixed up! LOL Or they are the same person, which is creepy. Call of Duty this and Call of Duty that. Ugh! Who cares really? He HAS to to play every night because he has to save the world, because this game is so real right? Next time he turns on the PS3 maybe I will dress up in camo and say "hey play with me. Save the world!"

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  29. I certainly didn't play wii all evening with Hubby and a friend whilst swearing at the screen and accusing the computer of cheating. Nope. Not me.

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  30. Oh my gosh..you are hysterical! My husband and I fight over the one laptop. There IS another computer in the other room...at a desk (eww), with an office chair (yuck).

    I love those pictures! She is so beautiful. And why oh why were the CMA's on ABC last night. I was very sad.

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  31. Does he have a headset he talks to the other game players on? I think if he uses one of those, you at leat wouldn't hear the other players cussing.

    Also, that's hilarious that Natalie picked up "You shithead!"

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  32. I think Natalie might be the cutest thing under 3ft tall EVER.
    :)

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  33. omg!!!! boyfriend just bought that game too! but he bought it for PS3...
    i love it when he goes away to play video games, cause then he leaves me alone and i can watch whatever the fuck i want on TV without his bitching! BUT.. if we only had 1 computer and had to share it???? it would NOT be a pretty household. lol

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  34. I'm reading every bit of your blog but I just can't help but notice that little cutie pie! She's so adorable!!! :)

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  35. My husband plays some kind of Bejewelled game online. I'm pretty sure there's no cheating involved, and so far, it seems pretty tame, so I can't figure he'd need to swear at it, though if he did, I'd probably laugh. As it is, though, when I come through a room and find him playing it AGAIN, I say just that. "AGAIN?!" and then I sometimes ask when, exactly, will it be enough.

    Basically, computer games bug me.

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  36. Sorry, my hubby doesn't do computer or video games. I think he might be hand eye coordinated challenged. Or maybe it's just his really short attention span. But my son does. And he's always convinced that there are cheaters too. Maybe it's a conspiracy. My brother in law is really bad about this too. One time, when we went to visit my sister, my son and my BIL played some nazi zombie game for two days straight. Ridiculous!

    Natalie is a doll. Hope she gets over that flashing thing before she gets boobs though. That could be a problem. Just saying...

    ♥Spot

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  37. OK, is it bad that I am LOVING you staying on your computer just to bug him;)

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  38. Hahahahaha! Look at that little model!

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  39. Ah ha ha ha!! Love the shout out for the other dads to stop cheating! lol. Take all the time on the computer you want - you have 400 some people ready to back you up if he tries to take it away!

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  40. My husband is a total gamer too. I so feel your pain. But we have two computers. I say its time for you get to a lap top.

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  41. Ha ha ha, Natalie's a Girls Gone Wild! Mine just takes her pants off and has been muttering something that sounds like "Oh for F*cks sake!" Eeeek.

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  42. Boys and video games....geez. Natalie is so beautiful. You need to enter that girl in a contest or something. Great pictures!! Love the blowing kisses one the best.

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  43. That is such a cute outfit! She's adorable.

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  44. Holy smokes ~ Natalie could not be any dang cuter. Ridiculous! ANd I love that you cheat on Gymboree. That top and headband are worth it :) We don't do computer games around here, but it is suspicious that my husband is expert at Wii bowling when we only play on family game night . . . :) Did I mention that I think Natalie is darling?

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  45. Your wee Natalie is such a cutie pie...totally adorable.

    Don't feel alone about your hubby going into his cave when he gets a new game. My hubby is identical. He goes into his office and doesn't emerge for a week...it pisses me off!

    When he does eventually emerge he wants to actually TALK to me? *humph* Fek that!

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  46. oh girl i am SO sorry!!! i am so thankful my husband isn't into video games!!!! i couldn't handle it!! even worse when they want to talk about something you're not interested it!! can i tell you i almost had a heart attack when i realized modern family wasn't on.... effin country music. boooo!

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  47. She is adorable! And the lifting of the shirt...our son did it yesterday in DisneyWorld when I was trying to take his picture...umm, hold up Mardi Gras.

    No video games in our house. But I am addicted to Wii.

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  48. Thank God Mr. Peach Tart is not into games and we each have our own computers with wireless. Otherwise, he might be dead. Natalie adorable as always.

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  49. awesome post. I didn't grow out of lifting my shirt up until I was... oh no wait, I still do that. lol. Just kidding! There must be a way of loosening the connection while your hubby's playing, just enough to be annoying. Cue hours of mischevous fun!

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  50. Your closing line made laugh so hard, I woke up the baby.

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  51. She is gorgeous and I love that outfit! I may need to go buy it for my nieces!

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  52. Gah - I HATE when Rob wants to talk to me about his stupid games like they're real life or something.

    Love the Gap on the cute girl.

    Toddler Girls Gone Wild, eh?

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