Friday, December 4, 2009

The Christmas Concert

I didn’t want to go.

There.

I said it.

I didn’t want to go to my son’s Christmas concert.

It’s just...all those people shoved in a tiny space.

But Tommy really wanted to go even though his class was only going to be singing one song.

“Can’t you just, like, sing the song to me now? Here, I’ll sit on the couch, you sing,” I said hopefully.

Tommy made a face. “It’s not the same!”

I knew he was right. So I said we could go.

I already knew what song Tommy was going to be singing. He had been singing it the entire week and to be honest, I was starting to hate the lyrics to O Tannenbaum.

We got to Tommy’s school early to get a parking spot and a good seat. The concert was also a tree lightening ceremony and this tiny plastic tree sat in the middle of the stage.



So the ceremony began and each grade level got to sing a song.

“And everyone can sing along,” the music teacher shouted.

The Dad in front of me, who I dubbed Disgruntled Dad, said to his wife, “You didn’t say we had to sing! I’m not singing!”

“Then don’t,” his wife hissed at him.

I swallowed my laughter down. It sounded like something Tom would say. Tom, by the way, was not there. He was at work. But it was okay, the kids were behaving. Natalie was enjoying the singing and would watch with her thumb stuck in her mouth.

“You’re not singing,” Tommy whispered to me. “You’re supposed to sing too.”

The thing is, my voice sucks and it has been known to cause my own children, my flesh and blood, to cover their ears.

“You really don’t have to sing to me, Mommy,” my son once said. “You can just…read.” And then he tossed a book in my lap.

“Mommy doesn’t want to sing,” I answered.

“You have to sing!” Tommy insisted. He’s big on following the rules which yes, is a good thing, but I don’t think he comprehended that it wasn’t really a rule.

“Fa la la la la la la la la!” I sang to Deck the Halls.

Some parents would go crazy when their kid would take the stage. I’m talking racing down the aisles, rolling on the ground with a camera crazy.

The fifth graders came out with some guitars and the music teacher talked about how they were doing a guitar unit in music class. I never did a guitar unit in music class. I think we just got some triangles and were told to go nuts with it.

“Please sing along!” the music teacher said.

“I’m not singing!” Disgruntled Dad started up again. “Why does she keep saying that?”

I coughed to mask my giggle.

“Sing Mommy!” Tommy reminded me.

Right.

Then Tommy’s class was called up and he waved when he got on stage.

“BROTHER! HI BROTHER!” Natalie shouted. “BROTHER IS SINGIN’!”



(Jazz hands! No really, they did arm movements as they sang..)

Soon after that, it was time to light the tree. The lights were clicked off and Natalie was all, “Why dark? Mommy, it’s dark? WHY DARK?”

“The tree is going to be lit,” I explained.

Then the tree switched on and that was that.

Exiting took some time. There were people everywhere. I felt like a cow being herded to the exit so I went, “Moo,” and then someone else went, “Moo,” and then one old bat went, “That’s really not funny.”

Actually, cranky old Mom with the tacky Santa sweater, it is.

As we drove home, I started to think, “Yay, Tommy is done with singing O Tannenbaum!” But then a few minutes later, guess what Tommy starts singing?

“O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum, your leaves are ever changing...”

It’s going to be a long December.

46 comments:

  1. My youngest is in 6th grade, so this will be my last year to go to a Christmas program. I've dreaded going to each and every one for the last twelve years, but now, I'm kind of sad that this will be the last one.

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  2. You are too funny! Moo! LOL

    For my kids Christmas program we have to be at the church at 7:30am - WTF?! It's just evil.

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  3. We have one to go to on the 17th! Except they always make it funny which makes it much more bearable!!

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  4. And that's why you go...so you can write about it on the blog!

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  5. :) @ the cute kids in the pictures...

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  6. YAY for Christmas programs...but boo for mean moms in ugly sweaters not having fun! UGH! She is just bitter that she didn't start the moo trend!

    ~WM

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  7. O Tannenbaum is one of the worst Christmas songs anyways let alone sung over and over by a young child! And I giggled when I read that you said Moo and it caught on. I would have Mooed with you!

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  8. I have never been to a Christmas program. I guess I'm lucky!

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  9. Thanks for this! I needed a good giggle! :)

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  10. *groan* Kiddy Christmas Concerts are always awful! I really don't know why they bother, because as far as I can tell, nobody likes them. Well, except for the kids, so there's THAT. Sounds like you did pretty well this time, tho - congrats for getting through it!

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  11. Moo is funny! Old dingbat. Jesse hollars "Brother!" too. I love it.

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  12. Funny, I have a terrible voice too but don't mind embarassing my kids by using it.

    Moo...

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  13. I cracked up at the jazz hands comment.

    You have given me hope that by going to my son's Christmas program I will have blogging material. *fingers crossed*

    Moo!

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  14. Our PAGEANT is next Friday. It's quite the production and I have an angel and a donkey that each sing two songs. I am sure there will be blog material there and we have QUITE.A.FEW parents capable of rolling around with a crazy camera. I love the holidays :)

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  15. Jazzy hands and mooing now thats my kinda party!

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  16. Everyone loves a jazz hand!
    Come on now!
    Everyone!!
    ...anyone?

    Damn.

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  17. Moo. It IS funny. Kids' concerts are painful, but they're really good experience for the kids. I never knew how hard it must have been for my mom to sit through school concerts AND piano recitals! (Yours won't either, unless they read your blog someday or have kids of their own.)

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  18. This is my first year with a christmas concert to go too. I'm curious to see how it goes.

    And you gotta love jazz hands.

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  19. I don't mind the elementary Christmas programs so much, but the band and choir concerts--well, that's another thing entirely. Maternal instincts cannot overcome the sounds of the squeaky first-year saxophone player or the unison-not-quite-hitting-the-high-note choir offerings.

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  20. Oh my. Thanks for reminding me I'm glad those days are over. Lol. I love the moo-ing. That's something I would totally have joined in. And then after cranky mom made her comment, I would've said something dripping with sarcasm. Or at least I would have thought of something to say when I was in my car and it was too late. =]

    ♥Spot

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  21. Oh, heaven help you.

    Maybe he'll suddenly become enamored with Johnny Cash or Queen. I mean, they're pretty Christmasy, right?

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  22. I am totally hip on the jazz hands since I do Jazzercise!

    LOL!

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  23. Geez, is this what I have to look forward too?

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  24. We just had to go to a grade 3 graduation. Yes, they are graduating all the bloody time. 2 hours of clapping while 300 kids got a certificate. Wish I'd thought of mooing.

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  25. Hooray! No more Christmas programs for me!!!!

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  26. And now its stuck in my head! :)

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  27. I am now planning to jazz hands my way through my otherwise dull weekend. Another hilarious post!

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  28. Sounds JUST like the ones i've been too. This year? I got to see Elijah's twice. It was pretty awesome.

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  29. This year Sienna is in 5th grade. Do you know what that means? I have to sit through EVERY. OTHER. GRADE. just to hear my kid sing. That's a long time to be sitting smashed like sardines with people that sweat and don't smell like I think they should. Plus there's the coughing and the sneezing and the spitting while they talk. Plus? It'll just be me, the 3 year old and the 17 month old. Good times. Oh? Cara is in 3rd but she goes to another school so that's TWO school concerts.

    My kids are lucky I love them.

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  30. Happy SITS day sharefest! My daughter's school actually cancelled their program this year, and let me tell you, I felt sort of bad for pretending to be disappointed.
    Great post!

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  31. Oh I just love school concerts. I'm a old sentimental fool...

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  32. I wonder how many of those women rolling on the floor in front of the stage are less concerned about their kids and more just trying to get a great photo for their blogs.

    Because that's what I do.

    I don't even like my kids.

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  33. I wonder how many of those women rolling on the floor in front of the stage are less concerned about their kids and more just trying to get a great photo for their blogs.

    Because that's what I do.

    I don't even like my kids.

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  34. My son is only 9 months old, so I haven't had to deal with any school plays/musicals just yet. I don't know whether to look forward to these times or dread them!! I'll probably be excited- but I absolutely will not be THAT parent that's practically frothing at the mouth from over zealous pride. Some people are just ridiculous.
    -Jen

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  35. I'm always embarrassed for those parents that act like they're rushing the stage at a Def Lepard concert.

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  36. Just enjoy it, because you know what? That time just flies by! Just reading your story brings tears to my eyes and memories of when my kids had their school musicals.

    You're a great mom, by the way.

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  37. LOL - love the "MOO" part - I personally think that's hilarious! HA! I really miss my kids being that age though and all of the programs that they were in - however, like you, I always dreaded going and fighting the crowds - YUCK! P.S. On another note, please come check out my blog - I have an award there for you! Hope you've had a great weekend! xoxoxo

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  38. I'm glad to hear that parents don't like these either. As a teacher, I HATE these..... the practicing...... BLECH. And I hate when they want the teachers to go up and sing. Double BLECH!

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  39. Colin starts Kindergarten next year. And as un-motherly as it makes me, I am reeeeally beginning to dread all this crammed-in-an-auditorium stuff. :-S

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  40. just as long as you don't tell your son you didn't want to be there, cause one time my dad (a preacher) said on the pulpit he didn't like a concert my sister and i were in (performing MAHLER). we didn't talk to him all day! of course now we just laugh about it :)

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  41. Tell the old bat it really is funny. Somedays you have to make your own fun.... Sing, Sing, Sing...... or not. Cute story. I used to lay on a blanket with my head propped up sleep through my kids t-ball games and then deny, deny, deny.

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  42. I have one in choir and orchestra and the other in band. Shoot me now.

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  43. Oh man, there are always a few Grinches in the crowd, isn't there? I love that you "moo'd"!!

    My kids have a gingerbread play they're putting on with their kindergarten class next week and I'm actually looking forward to it. But I'm sure by 5th grade, I'll be dreading these kinds of things.

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  44. too funny with the cow! I think I would be right there with digruntled dad though...i sing only because of my kids. My voice is horrible.

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