Thursday, December 31, 2009

I Suppose I'll Attempt Resolutions

So 2010 is upon us and I figured it would be good if I made some resolutions. I mean, yeah, I may not keep them all but still. At least I tried.

So here they are. My resolutions.



1. I resolve to my nicer to my husband....



...unless he continues to leave his dirty dishes by the sink. I don’t understand. Why can’t he wash them out? I mean, I suppose I should be grateful that he doesn’t just leave dishes at the table like he used to. It’s progress that he brings them to the sink now. But still. When I say, “Please wash off your dish when you’re done eating,” why doesn’t he? Please tell me that the Man Clean Gene clicks on at 30.



2. I resolve to be a more patient mother.....



...unless my kids continue to do things like this.



3. I resolve to not shop as much....



...unless Gymboree continues to release lines as cute as this.



4. I resolve to get my book published...



...unless I can’t find an agent to represent me. I’ve read some agent’s blogs and some were saying that chick lit is out. I hope it’s not out. Chick lit is what I’m writing. If it’s out, could it possibly be brought back in? Please?



5. I resolve to not lose my temper as often....





...unless my husband keeps doing things like this. Seriously. Why does he toss his boxers right by the laundry basket? And why can't he change the toilet paper roll?



6. I resolve to start cooking more...



...unless the recipe contains more than 5 ingredients. And if I don't know what exactly the ingredients are. I found this one recipe that called for mascarpone. What is mascarpone? Is it a cheese? It sounds like a cheese. Why couldn't they have put 3 1/2 oz of mascarpone (cheese) so the confused people like me knew exactly what it was?



7. I resolve to try and be more stylish so I don’t turn into a frumpy Mom…...



...unless I can borrow a stylist, that is. I have no idea what is fashionable. I was watching a program and apparently paint stained jeans are all the rage. This confuses me. Why would I fork over money for dirty jeans? Shouldn’t we be trying to avoid getting paint on jeans?



8. I resolve to not buy as many books since I’m running out of room to put them...



...unless Marian Keyes has a new book out. I have to buy all of her books. Oh, and Meg Cabot’s books. And Jane Green’s!



9. I resolve to stop shouting at the people who I see texting and driving...



....unless they keep texting and driving. Seriously, is your life that important that you can’t wait to text?

72 comments:

  1. That alligator purse is the cutest thing ever. Can I be your daughter, please?

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  2. Nice list. My hubby is 37 and still cant rinse out a dish...so good luck with that one, lol....and you need an eReader. I ordered one and cant wait for it to get here. Im hoping it helps with the huge stacks of books I have all the time.

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  3. These are all really good NY resolutions, and all really good reasons why you wouldn't hold up to your resolutions. . . Good luck in the New Year!!!! :)

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  4. great resolutions. Your daughter is the cutest little thing

    xx

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  5. Too funny, I love it! Keep yelling at texting drivers. I don't see it as their life being important because if it was, their eyes would be on the road! DRIVE SAFE PEOPLE!

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  6. I love the Daisy Days line!! I wish I would have bought more of it last year. Now I have to search on ebay for it! And totally agree with you on the hubby thing. Mine is pretty good with dishes but the boxers and toilet paper that is another story. And I totally 100% think you should write a book. Your posts are HILARIOUS! And I love how you are so good at getting pics of everything. You must have your camera attached to you at all time. I love it! I am working on my resolution post now. I really could use a few more days to mentally prepare ;) Tammy

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  7. About men and these things, don't bother, is genetic, but with a gentle and continuous reminding, may be they can improve ;-) BTW beautiful and funny list.

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  8. I like that there are conditions on all of your resolutions. Very important.

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  9. Best list of resolutions I've ever seen. So funny.
    Thank you.

    Make sure your family sees them. Hint, hint.

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  10. Chick lit is def not out. I am an avid chick lit fan! Good luck and happy new year!

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  11. Cool list... like totally I could finish everything on my list if it werent for people ticking me off and then I get off track....

    Happy new year!~

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  12. haha Great list!!! My fiance is 32 and still doesnt put things where they go so i dont see 30 being the age for you! Sorry lol

    Happy New Year

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  13. Always have an exit strategy! Nice!

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  14. those are great.

    Happy New Year.

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  15. LOL! These are GREAT! I can't wait to read about what 2010 has in store for you!

    ~WM

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  16. Ha! Looks like I need to make my resolutions more realistic, just like you! Looks like I'll be taking a note out of your book, err blog! :)

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  17. The Y-chromosome is permanently incompatible with three things: 1) changing a roll of toilet paper, 2) rinsing a dish, rinsing food out of the sink before it permanently melds into the stainless steel, and 3) putting his clothes into the hamper. There are more things, of course, like being able to listen to the sound of his wife's voice, but we'll get to that another time.

    I'm just saying, quit beating your head against a brick wall. Try beating his instead. Wait-- did I just say that out loud???

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  18. Happy New Year! Cute picture of you, by the way.

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  19. I think this is a great post, you crack me up and BTW I love chick lit and, based on how much I like your blog, would be first in line for your book :) Great bookshelf by the way, and I think I recognize the spine of Twilight there! I am a total book nut too, can't go into a bookshop without buying one.

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  20. The Man Clean Gene NEVER clicks on, so sorry to disappoint you.

    Happy New Year!

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  21. I couldn't for over money for paint-splattered jeans, either.

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  22. I love Jane Green too and chick lit. What the heck? They say it's out. That would be infuriating if I couldn't find chick lit to read. Keep on writing it anyhow.

    I don't get men with the dishes and the dirties. They're such fools!

    Happy New Year!!!

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  23. You do look pretty in that pic!
    Have a happy new year!

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  24. Great list - Happy New Year! And men never learn to put dishes away as I witnessed with my parents visiting the last 10 days. My dad is 60 and still leaves his dishes by the sink - what's up with that? Are they missing a dish cleaning gene?

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  25. Except for the MOM ones (since I don't have kids), I could probably just steal YOUR resolutions to use.....

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  26. Ahh the clothes next to the hamper, my favorite (not!) habit!

    Happy New Year!

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  27. That bookshelf looks eerily familiar...

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  28. By far the best resolution list ever.

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  29. Sorry. As far as I know men do not have a mean clean gene that kicks in at 30 or anytime for that matter. Not happening. I also love Jane Green and Meg Cabot. And I will buy your book if you buy mine. Deal?

    ♥Spot

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  30. (1) Pay no attention to trends in book publishing. If your manuscript has the crispness and perfect timing of your blog posts, you'll find an agent and a publisher.
    (2) Do not stop yelling at drivers who are texting. OUR lives are worth trying to protect from their demented carelessness.

    Love your list today!

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  31. Such a cute outfit! Now that I have a girl I'm pretty sure I'm going to develop my own shopping habit.

    Excellent resolutions all and all.

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  32. Just stopped by to wish you a very happy new year!

    Kitty x

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  33. Good luck getting your man to comply. They suck like that in general. I think only the gay ones are marriage material....but then there is another flaw to deal with. It'll never be perfect, but keep nagging until you train them enough to refrain from wanting to kill them.

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  34. Oh the resolutions! I always start them, get bored of them, then blow them off ... all before February! Ha!! :o)

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  35. Ooh, I just started airing my dirty laundry too. I love yours!

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  36. There is no Clean Man Gene. At any age. Unless they're gay. Which makes me wish my husband were a little bit bi-sexual. Really. All of my gay friends? Clean clean clean.

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  37. My hubbie is almost 40 and he STILL leaves dirty socks on the floor TWO FEET away from the hamper! Sheesh!

    I love chick lit! That agent is WRONG!

    Don't worry about what is fashionable. When you are shopping for clothes think classic; think Audrey Hepburn. Does that help?

    Yeah, mascarpone is cheese, although it's more like sweeter, thicker sour cream. BTW, here's a substitute for mascarpone: beat 8 oz. of cream cheese with 1/4 cup whipping cream (although your grocery store probably has it).

    Good luck!

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  38. LOL! Hilarious post! I love #5! My hubby does that! His dirty clothes are just inches away from the laundry bag... the new toilet roll is just few inches away from the holder... the list goes on and on...

    Btw, thanks for stopping by my blog and Happy New Year to you too!

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  39. sounds like your year is all planned out! :-) Chick Lit is NEVER OUT. Sometimes it may be fashionable and maybe sometimes we all just read it without shouting about it but we always read it. No worries there!

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  40. wonderful list...

    im totally curious to see how these are kept.. b/c im afraid i might not do so good.. lol!!!!

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  41. I can totally relate to the second one on your list. We have the same photos of our daughter doing this!

    Also, number 5 is the very first time I found your blog. I thought it was so hilarious!

    Happy New Year and best of luck with those resolutions. I resolved not to have any resolutions this year! :D

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  42. totally great list!

    Oh and just for you (I am sure that it is!) there is a new show coming this month- or maybe it's next month?- on Food Network with all the recipes having 5 ingredients or less... Your wish has been granted.. Your Welcome!
    Oh- and the clothes NEXT to the hamper and the TP roll on the floor... you would have more luck training a hamster to do those things than a husband... Sorry!

    Thanks for stopping by to visit me... I would never have found you if you hadn't-- ok that almost sounds weird... oh and chic lit? Huh? Than what are girls reading these days???

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  43. This one has me giggling - as usual. ESPECIALLY the bit about the toilet paper roll. My husband does the SAME THING! I just don't get it, really. I wish I could make resolutions for OTHER people - they're the ones who need it! :)

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  44. If Chick-lit is out and dirty jeans are in then I say let's start a clean jean, Marian Keyes (I love love LOVE her too) reading, stylishly attired revolution. I think I already know a few potential members.

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  45. These are the best resloutions I've seen yet. Love the one about the laundry - we have the same issue here! And my dear hubby is teaching it to my boys.

    Happy Saturday Sharefest!

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  46. I own a "Cooking with 5 Ingredients (or Less)" cook book and I LOVE it. Some of my favorite recipes have come from that book. I put them out at parties and no one can believe how simple they are! I'll see if I can find a link for you...

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  47. Happy New Year! Stopping by from SITS!

    By 50 they load the dishwasher!

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  48. You make me laugh SO much. Love this list. And your daughter = gorgeous (but I have told you that a dozen times..doenst make it less true. lol.)

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  49. Your daughter surely has more fashion sense then I do!

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  50. This post has made me both smile and laugh. Wonderful post! Good luck on those New Year resolutions.

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  51. Awesome New Years Resolutions! Your blog always makes me crack up! Love the new glasses!

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  52. Awesome list! Mine includes eating less chocolate...unless it's dark. Which is healthy. And the only chocolate I eat. So...

    And working more on my writing, too, of course.

    I think you should be fine with your genre, by the way. I suspect that there is someone for every genre, no matter what agents say.

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  53. I absolutely LOVE your resolutions with disclaimers attached! Brilliant!

    And I think we're married to the same man. Seriously. ;)

    Chick Lit better still be in, because that's all I read. So you'll have at least one book sold when you publish. ;)

    Happy New Year! :)

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  54. Chick Lit is out? Really??? I love good chick lit. But my stack of books to read is so big I'm probably way behind the times anyway.

    I'm with you on the dirty clothes NEXT TO the hamper. Infuriating!

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  55. The Man Clean Gene doesn't click on at 30. Or 40. I'll let you know about 50 in a couple years. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

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  56. when did you come to my house and take a picture of the toilet paper roll my husband insists on leaving on the bathroom floor? so weird--i didn't hear anyone come in.

    good luck getting your book published. i'm looking for an agent too. i don't write chick lit (i think mine is considered 'contemporary fiction') but this finding an agent business kind of sucks.

    love your blog--new follower!

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  57. I loved your list Lol!!! That one about the dishes, well I'd be happy if my husband would quit tossing my dish cloth into the bottom of our sink!

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  58. Perfect. I am thinking about the same ideas for my husband. WHo seems to be related to yours for some odd reason.

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  59. I've got your back except I am not real confident about the Gymboree one

    *wink*

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  60. Excellent resolutions, if I do say so myself! Get that book published! Chick Lit is all my book club reads!!!!

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  61. I think those goals are just perfect! I see people texting and driving all the time. I mean ARE THEY CRAZY! For heavens sake, if you are going to risk your life at least call the person and for heavens sake, do NOT hunt for keys... Jimminy Crickets.

    I think you seem stylish! Paint splashes are fashionable on jeans? Who knew!

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  62. Great resolutions - but if you're anything like me - they'll probably last only a couple of days!

    By no means are you in the frumpy category!

    Natalie is looking like a toddler fashionista!

    I love books, too!

    You'd just better give up on Tom - 'cause there's no changing him believe me.

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  63. stopping by from SITS!!! You had me smiling from what you wrote on SITS!!!! Love it!!! stop by

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  64. Happy New Year!!

    I think, with the qualifications, you should be able to stick to your resolutions!

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  65. LOLOL ... Dennis is 35 ... his clean gene hasn't kicked in yet .. it's sad sad sad...

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  66. LOL. Yep, you're still funny. Haha.
    The toilet paper thing? I do it to my hubs AND we have a holder for 2 rolls. Not 1 but 2. And I STILL do it to him. I will stop.

    And mascarpone is yummy!!!!!!!!!!!!
    It's an Italian cheese put in tiramisu.

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  67. Paint on jeans? I don't think that should be in style. And if it is, only Britney Spears and Miley Cyrus will look good in it.

    I recommend TLC's What Not To Wear. It's magnificent.

    Also, people who text and drive are morons. Yell away.

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  68. I'm not sure what chick lit is, but it's the second time I've heard of it today! (And in my life)

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  69. Great list! I've never heard of a chick lit either. I also didn't know you were writing a book. I bet it's awesome b/c you are an amazing story teller!

    Happy New Year!

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  70. okay, so Natalie would be a frump if her mom was not such a good shopper. so how bout change that one to I won't shop for frumpy clothes for my daughter. and I will be right beside you with the #9.

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