Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Our Christmas and Mean Bacon

Fine, I admit it.

I’m not a morning person.

So I wasn’t totally pleased when I heard Tommy shouting “Merry Christmas” at the top of his lungs on Christmas day. Then I felt guilty because shouldn’t parents think that their kids are adorable? But at that moment, I didn’t find Tommy adorable at all, in fact for a brief second I considered yelling, “Be quiet, it’s too early!” I didn’t though. No, I knew that because it was Christmas that there was a good chance that he’d be up early. I just didn’t think he’d scream the house down.


I groaned and pulled the pillow over my head.



Great. That was Natalie. When she’s up, she refuses to go back to sleep. “Mommy, where ARE you?” she sang out.

Where was Tom? Why wasn’t Tom shushing the kids? Why can’t I have a husband who tiptoes upstairs, places a finger to his lips and whispers, “Let’s be quiet so Mommy can sleep?”

He was probably playing Call of Duty with the headphones. I hate that game. Sometimes I have visions of myself hurling it out the window and saying, “There! Now you have no excuse! Take out the flipping trash!”


“MOMMY? MOMMY?” Now Natalie was pissed. And I didn’t want her to be pissed on Christmas day so I reluctantly pushed the covers off of me.

Dear Santa…all I wanted for Christmas was to get some sleep...

“Oh, there you are, Mommy,” Tommy said innocently when I emerged bleary eyed from my room.

“Mommy, Mommy!” Natalie said and rushed into my knees. I nearly toppled over.

“Can we go look at presents?” Tommy begged, clasping his hands under his chin.

“Presents?” Natalie repeated. “Presents?”

Presents? Oh right, presents. Because it was Christmas.

“Yeah,” I croaked out.

Tom was just getting off his game when we came downstairs.

“Oh, hi!” he said, surprised that I was up so early. He leaned over to kiss me and I hissed, “Caffeine,” in his face.

I need caffeine to be pleasant in the morning. It’s a shame that I don’t drink coffee. I get my caffeine from diet drinks and chocolate.

“Right,” Tom said, knowing exactly what I needed. He returned a few seconds later and pressed a diet Dr. Pepper in my hand. Bliss. I cracked it open and took a big gulp.

“Soda is bad for you,” Tommy said as he dug through his stocking.

“Soda helps Mommy be nice,” I explained, taking another sip. Mmm, delicious aspartame.

Lucky for me, Tommy didn’t press it since he was distracted by all the stuff.

By the way, this is how the room looked like before Santa came:

And this is how it looked when he left:

And by HE, I mean ME, because Tom totally went to sleep before I set everything up. He did wake up early and put the dollhouse together but still. Rude.

We got to opening presents:

Yup, she still loves her creepy Yo Gabba Gabba show.

Help! We can't find our floor!

I'm still half asleep and holding the reusable bags my Mom sent.

After we opened presents, I had it in my head that I'd make a big breakfast. I figured it was time to branch out from having cinnamon rolls from a can. So I made eggs, sausage, toast and bacon on a skillet.

See, normally I make bacon in the microwave. But I figured since it was Christmas that I'd do it on the skillet.

Big mistake.

Cooking bacon on a skillet is just awful. The grease kept popping on me so I kept yelping and saying, "The bacon is being mean!" and Tom went, "What do you expect?"

I think I overcooked the bacon because when Tommy took a bite he claimed that he nearly choked on it.

Oh well.

And remember when Tom wrapped up this gift and I had no idea what it was?

Want to know what it turned out to be?

Tune in tomorrow!


  1. Dang it, way to end a post!!! HAHAHA

    CUTE pajamas you all have on! And that picture of Natalie hugging Yo Gabba Gabba is totally priceless!!

  2. Not bad! At least the house looks clean.

  3. the hug of gabba gabba was worth all the problems!

  4. No fair! How you leave us hanging after we've all been waiting for weeks and weeks?!!

    Beautiful pictures of the kids by the way! Love to see the excitement in their faces! Just maybe not so early (I don't do mornings either).

    Pretty soon - you'll be sitting around until around 9:00-10:00 waiting for them to get up and open presents - ahhh, the joys of teenagers....

  5. Oh no you didn't!!! I was waiting to see what that was!!!
    Ok one more day wont hurt i guess :)

  6. Oh you're just mean. Mean, mean, mean. I no yike waiting!

    But since I do yike your happy bunny pjs, I will come back tomorrow.

  7. My favorite quote OF ALL TIME:
    "Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast." Thank you, Oscar Wilde

    I'm not a super fun person or anything, but morning people make me consider suicide.

  8. You are such a tease ending the post that way! Cute pics - glad you had a good Christmas and the microwave is the only way to cook bacon!

  9. Very cute pictures. Looks like your kids made a great haul, I mean, had a great time!

  10. Awww... that thrilled grin on Natalie's face is priceless!

    And you do look cute in those PJs!

    Ugh.. the mystery package mystery continues.... I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight...

  11. Aw man.....i have to know now....lol!

  12. girl, you are killing me...what in that package!!!! :O)

    looks like you all had a wonderful Christmas. So glad little N is doing better. My 13 year old son got one of those fur real pets too....is that a wee bit strange???? Oh, well, it won't last long, just waiting for our 100lb Chocolate Lab to hear that thing sqrrk...then CRUNCH! :O)

  13. Looks like a great Christmas!

    You know, you can cook bacon in the oven. Then the grease can't get you and it looks and tastes just like you cooked it in a pan.

  14. You're so mean - making us wait.

    It looks like your kids had a great Christmas! I love the pic of Natalie with her Yo Gaba Gaba toy.

  15. It looks like you had a wonderful Christmas despite the early morning wake up call and the burnt bacon. I can't wait to find out what was in the wrapped box. Way to keep us hanging. :)

  16. Bacon is mean! Dang popping stuff! Looks like the kiddos got some good loot from Santa!

  17. I'm not a morning person either. Thank goodness both my girls learned to sleep in at an early age. And we still only do cinammon rolls from a can every Christmas morning.

  18. I once told a couple Mormon kids that I need coffee to be sweet and pretty in the morning.

    The response I got was, "Coffee is bad for you and it smells like poop!"

    My mistake.

  19. Tell me tell me tell me!

    (Your santa was WAY better than mine!)

  20. How do you look so stinkin' CUTE in the morning?!?

  21. Looks like lots of Christmas fun! I can't wait to hear what is in that present!

  22. DAMMIT!
    I've been waiting MONTHS it seems for the answer to that gift question!

  23. You're a wicked woman. letting us hang on for another day!!!

    WOW that was a lot of prezzies. Thanx for sharing your pics!

  24. GAH! I have a strange need to know what you got for Christmas. That's just mean to make us wait. Great pictures.

  25. Wow - looks like a fun Christmas! Great pics! I will check back later to see the mystery gift!

  26. Oh. You. Brat.

    I am not going to comment on how cute the kids were because that last picture was just MEAN.

  27. 1. Glad you had a nice Christmas. We did too.

    2. I am the same way in the morning. My kids wake up talking and asking, "Can we do this? Where are we going today?" And I'm like, "Wait until Mommy has coffee. Can't think yet." (This on weekends; I'm usually out of the house before they are up during the week.)

    3. I love, love, love that picture of Natalie hugging her yo gabba doll before it's even been released from its package.

    Happy New Year!


  28. It looks like Santa was very good to all of you!! I do find it funny that there are pictures of your princess in her complete PJ outfit and there is that one without her pants on...nice.

    I am in agreement with Tracey...brat...you could have told us now...or just not said anything b/c I definitely forgot...but now I remembered!


  29. I miss buying toys for christmas!! Now all they want is expensive electronic stuff or gift cards. Where's the fun in that??

    I love that it's still "no pants Natalie". Gotta love a girl who sticks to her guns.

    To fry bacon in a skillet and reduce the pain for you...they make little mesh screens that fit over your skillet. Just be careful when you lift it to turn the bacon or add more. I won't fry bacon without mine.

    Glad your Christmas was lovely!

  30. I'm not sure how I found your blog, but boy am I glad I did! You are hilarious!

    I can't wait to find out what you got. And I'm glad your daughter is okay!

  31. I always make my husband make the bacon. I can't handle the pops either and I either under-cook it or burn it.
    Can't wait to see what your gift was!

  32. awww I love your tree!! It looks so pretty!!! Glad you guys had a wonderful Christmas and that your little Natalie is healing and doing well:) You have 2 cutie pies there! Happy New Years to you!

  33. Some of those things are SO ME, like.. um..

    1) Giving my husband a, ahem, "reason" to take out the trash (headphones and all)

    2) Wanting only sleep for christmas

    And about 10 other things. :) Merry Christmas!

  34. glad you all had a great christmas.. btw- i have that quilt laying on your couch in the first pic.. and i love natalies jammies.. super cute!!

    cant wait to see what that mystery present is!!!

  35. Oh no you did not! *sigh* You did, didn't you. You left us hanging. Aaarrrggh.

    Looks like the kids had a great Christmas!

  36. Thanks for sharing your Christmas morning with us. I enjoyed the photos of the kids opening their presents. Santa was good to them.

  37. Natalie looks so cute and Tommy and Noah have the same PJ's - LOL - go figure ...

  38. man it looks like santa threw up toys in your place! i remember those ages when my kids wanted toys. now its electronics and brand name clothing. i refuse to spend more, so they get less, yay less clean up :)


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