Friday, January 15, 2010

On Stalking Target

So I admit it, I had been stalking Target all week.

Rumor had it that they’d be marking a bunch of toys 75% off.

The problem was, no one exactly knew when it would happen. Oh, there were rumblings that it might happen on Tuesday. So I went on Tuesday and nope, nothing. I’d march into the toy section with high expectations and be let down when I got to the area and saw the 50% off signs staring back up at me. Yeah, some might say 50% off was a good deal—but not for me—not when I’ve tasted the sweet nectar of 75% off.

Then on the forum I post at a few people thought that the toy sale might start on Wednesday.

So back to Target I went.

And…I was let down again.

“Why won’t you go down?” I fumed at the toys. Not really. I didn’t say that out loud because then I’d not only be the Lady Who Stalks Target but the Lady Who Stalks Target AND Talks To Herself.

Of course I didn’t walk away empty handed. No, they had marked shoes to 75% off so at least I got some sort of consolation prize in the form of ultra adorable red Mary Janes for Natalie.

“Thursday for sure!” a few people assured me on the forum.

So guess who was in front of Target bright and early on Thursday?

You have to understand that I am not a morning person. But I did this because I wanted the deals. I did this because both of my kid’s birthdays are in March and if I found toys for 75% off, it meant I didn’t have to pay full price for toys when it came closer to their birthdays. I know some people recognized me. One worker pointed her finger at me and looked as though she wanted to say, “You’re the nut that’s been here every day this week!” But she didn’t because she probably thought back to the work videos that were made in the 80s that she was forced to watch about Customer Etiquette. The woman in the video with the big 1980s hair probably drawled, “And we don’t ever make the customer feel bad. Even if she’s stalking the store and has been there every day of the week.”

My heart was thumping with excitement. This had to be the day. It had to be! Because, and I hated to admit it, I was a little tired of Target.

I know!

*Le Gasp*

You have to understand that I love Target. It’s one of my favorite stores. When I walk through the door, I want to burst out into song and bellow, “Over there is the dollar spot where I bribe my kid to keep quiet so I can shop in peace, LALALA!” I don’t. Because then I’d be the Lady Who Stalks Target And Not Only Talks To Herself But Sings To Herself Too.

I rushed into the toy section, desperate to beat Old Lady Hog, my competition. She usually fills up two carts with toys. At first I thought, “Aw, shopping for Grandchildren,” but then I heard her on the phone bragging that she was going to make a mint selling all her stuff on eBay. Then I wanted to take stuff from the old bat’s cart. I didn’t though. But Old Lady Hog, she doesn’t like me because I found the last singing Brobee and she was not pleased.

“Where did you find that?” she had demanded.

“The shelf. Duh.” Okay, I didn’t add the ‘duh’ part because even though she’s one of those ebayers, one should still respect their elders.

Ever since then, whenever we’ve spotted each other we give sharp nods of acknowledgement and don’t bother to say a word.

But guess what?

The toys were STILL marked at 50% off.

“Frick!” I shrieked. Great. I was talking to myself. It’s what happens when you’ve been to the same store EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK. I found a bunch of Target workers marking down bedding and such and I wanted to say, “Hi there. Hi guys! How about instead of marking down ugly ass pillows, we concentrate on the toy section?” And then I’d make a sweeping motion with my hands towards the toy aisles.

I didn’t do this, don’t worry, it was just one of my aggravated at being at Target and being let down again thoughts.

So I went back home.

I got back on the forum all set to tell some people off. (“WTF do you MEAN that toys are 75% off? Where are you getting your flipping information?”) But then I saw some people were talking about the 75% off sale. Some stores had gone 75% off.

Frick, frick, frick.

Then it came to the afternoon and someone said, “My Target just finished marking down toys to 75% off. They were running behind.”

So I decided to call my Target. A woman answered and I went, “Yes, hello, did the toys go 75% off?”

“Huh? I don’t know,” she said and then there was silence.

“Do you have time to check?” I asked sweetly.

“Huh? I guess,” and then I heard a clunk.

Then I heard a beeping sound and figured she hung up on me. But no, she just transferred me to the toy department.

“Toy department,” a gruff male voice said.

“Hello, did the toys happen to go to 75% off?”

“RON! DID THE TOYS GO 75% off?” he screamed.

Um. Eardrum on the other end of the phone, dude.

“Yeah. They did. Just now,” the guy told me.


“Okay. Thank you!” I said and hung up.

Then I started racing around like a mad woman. Tom had just woken up since he works the night shift and he watched me from the couch with knitted eyebrows.

“Did a bug fall down your shirt or what?” he asked.

“Target…sale…SEVENTY FIVE PERCENT OFF!” I started yanking on my jeans. Usually around the house I wear my comfy pants. I wasn’t naked or anything.

“Where are you going?” Tom wondered.

Was he deaf?

“TARGET!” I shrieked. “The toys…they’ve finally gone 75% off. I’ve got to go.” I grabbed my keys and ran out the door.

Then when I got to Target I saw a woman loading a bunch of toys into the trunk of her car. What did she buy? Did she take all the toys? WAS THAT THE LAST YO GABBA GABBA SET?

“Hi,” I said cheerfully. “So it’s true? The toys went 75% off?”

She jumped and put a hand to her heart. “Oh! You scared me!” She looked at me suspiciously.

“I’ve just been waiting for this sale forever,” I said.

She shoved a bag into her car. A bag FILLED with a bunch of dolls. Did she take all the dolls? Who could possibly need 6 dolls?

“Oh. I just happened to be shopping today and the toys were on sale.” She shrugged like it was no big deal. She hadn’t been to Target every day waiting like I had. She had just wandered in and grabbed what she wanted.

Sometimes life isn’t fair.

“So…I’m going to go now,” the girl said.

“Right. Yes. Goodbye,” I said and hurried to Target. I grabbed a cart and hurried into the toy section...

....and yes, everything was finally 75% off.

As I was putting toys into my cart, another woman wandered beside me.

“Isn’t this fun?” I gushed as I stuck a creepy Yo Gabba Gabba toy into my cart.

She frowned. “Fun?”

“You know. Because of the deals?” I swept my arm over the aisle of amazing deals. Couldn't she see? Where else can you find a play kitchen for only twenty bucks?

She scratched her chin. “I guess?” She picked up a baby toy and stared at it. Hmmm. I guess deals don’t thrill her.

I finished ten minutes later. I didn’t buy too much, I’m proud to say. I picked up Wendys for Tom on the way home and when I walked through the door I handed over the bag.

“What’s this?” Tom said, confused.

“A burger. For you!”

Tom craned his neck around me so he could focus on the car. “What did you get? Did you get me this burger so I wouldn’t ask you how much you spent?”, I didn’t even think about that. But after Tom said it I thought it sounded like a pretty good idea.

“How much did you spend?” Tom tried again.

“I got this giant dinosaur that was originally $129 for $32!”

“How much did you spend?”

“And the Yo Gabba Gabba toys for Natalie’s birthday!”

“How much did you SPEND?”

“Old Lady Hog wasn’t even there. She probably didn’t think the sale started today,” I continued lightly.

Tom sighed. “I know what you’re doing.”

He did? Because I didn’t really know what I was doing. I figured if I kept talking then Tom would give up asking me the question. That’s what they do on Gilmore Girls. Luke wants to know an answer from Lorelei so she just talks about other things or just says something completely bizarre.

“Go on, eat your burger or it’ll get cold,” I urged.

Tom stared into the bag. “Fine. But this isn’t over. I’ll find out how much you spent. I can just look on the account, you know.”

“The electric chair was invented by a dentist. Did you know that? I’m not surprised, dentists are evil, evil people.”

Tom gaped at me for a few seconds. “I’m just going to go eat now.”

“Enjoy!” I said cheerfully.

This is what I got:

Guitar was $7, Yo Gabba Gabba thing was $8, and the Trio set was $10.

Snow White was $5, Yo Gabba Gabba was $5, and the airplane was $8.

This was only $5!

Both kids will have fun with this.

And seriously, the thing was only $32 marked down from $129!

When Tom saw me carrying the dinosaur box in he went, "What in the world is that?"

"An awesome remote control dinosaur!"

I thought Tom would lecture me or something on how we didn't need an ultra cool giant dinosaur--I even braced myself for it--but no, instead he went, "Can we open and play with it now?"


  1. AAAAAAAAA! They are on sale? Shit. (oh sorry) I thought I had until Super Bowl weekend. Crap, crap, crap. I am pondering the meaning of my life at McDonalds play place right now. Curse you Target. At least you haven't been needing to use different voices each time you call.

  2. What forum are you hanging out on?

    You got great deals on those toys!

  3. Did you really say "frick"?


    Will share the dinosaur with me?

  4. You are amazing when it comes to finding good buys!

  5. awesome stinking deals... i never find things that good!

    have a great wkend!!

  6. You got some good deals. I was at Target yesterday. They hadn't marked anything down to 75% yet. I'll have to go back today.

  7. Score!! woo hoo girlie that is awesome..

    I love target too.

  8. That little table for $5 rocks. Sometimes it pays to be a stalker. Nice work!

  9. I got so overexcited at a toy sale once that I spent $285 on items under $15. Do you know how many toys that is? I think we still have some in boxes...

  10. That cracks me up - boys will be boys, no matter what their age. Curtis still insists on buying something every Christmas that's, like, WAY too grown-up for our boys ... just so he can play with it. :)

    Glad you got to the sale, even if you did have to stalk obsessively!

  11. LOL...I'm a Target stalker as well. But I only went in Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday! If it wasn't 75% off today, I was giving up!

  12. Why oh why isn't there a Target near me?! I may just have to make the drive tomorrow :)

  13. what great deals!!! too bad my son no longer plays with toys..{{tear}}

  14. You haven't lost your touch...your bargain-hunting and your writing are both first-class!

  15. You are a force to be reckoned with.

    I mean, I love Target, but you made that store your bitch.

    And I think you Lorelai'ed your husband quite nicely.

  16. First all, you mean I went to my home away from home..I mean Target on the wrong day? Grr!

    Second, $32 for Spike?!? That's awesome!!

  17. Drove to Target after reading your post. :)

    Aidyn says thank you!

    I got him an electric remote control train for 38 dollars on sale from 138!!!! He wanted one for Christmas and couldn't really splurge on one at the time! :) He's so excited!

  18. Im scared for you... I think there is meetings you can attend for this problem


    Im pissed I missed it... truly

  19. Oh gosh I am SO going shopping again for Alex! When I was there this week it was still at 50% off. 75% off? Sweet!!!!!

  20. I need to get to Target!

    Those are great deals. Target is now 45 minutes away from me and I miss it. I can't stalk it like you can.

  21. When Tom's done playing with the dinosaur, can I have a go? It sounds fun!

  22. I love Target, but it's far enough away that I can't stalk it. I usually get there about once a month if I'm lucky because my husband loathes it more than any other store on the planet (don't know why). Good going on the deals!

  23. So jealous!

    But I spent all my fun money at Hobby Lobby today, lol!

  24. Arrggggh. What time do they close?? And I'm mad at my kid now, but her birthday's in March too... to quote Wilma Flintstone, I'd better go "CHARGGGGE IT!"

  25. Good job on the deals. I would stalk Target too, if I could. That store makes me swoon.

  26. I so wish I was at your Target to see you stalking it all week...LOL!

  27. This is why I wish there was a Target close by (as in anywhere within 45 miles!) and why my hubs is glad there isnt!!

  28. LOL I wish I knew about this sale earlier -I think I will go check out my Target this weekend! HA! Looks like you got an awesome deal and I had to LOL about the hubster and the dinosaur comment - too funny! HA!

  29. You are such a good shopper! The dinosaur does sound fun!

  30. Great post! You had me laughing all the way through it! My husband would have been asking to play with the dinosaur too.

  31. I'm pretty sure your bargain hunting skills are legendary by now. If it was an olympic'd win gold. =]


  32. Kudos to you for perseverance... Personally, the time and aggravation factors would discourage me. I'm the online stalker. Butt comfortably planted in the chair, wine in hand, one click of the mouse and it's mine. Clearly, I lack your adventurous spirit.

    Stopping by from SITS.


  33. I love Target too! I was at my Target and they still had 50%. Bummer. Maybe today is the day. However, cute mary janes for the Missy is a great excuse for another visit. I am also a huge Gilmore Girls fan! I am glad I found your blog. I'll be back.
    Happy Saturday Sharefest

  34. SO JEALOUS!! I wish we had target in Canada. Sure, there's Wal-Mart but I am SO over actually, Wal-Mart id my happy place. I just wish they'd put toys on for 75% off :(

  35. Oh my goodness! I just stopped by to say hi and thanks for commenting on my blog and I got sucked into this story. So funny! I love stalking stores... I mean going every other day to you know buy that thing... haha. Sounds like you were productive and way to distract!
    Thanks again for stopping by Thankfully Thrifty!

  36. I love Target and I love the clearance.

  37. Good for you! But when you see people picking up cartfuls of toys and clothes, don't assume they are eBay hawkers. My charity which you can see at:

    has shoppers we fund to buy off season toys and clothes for our kids to be used next Christmas. And although Target in the past has discounted everything at the same time, this year they had rolling sales.

    Good on you for your deals. Doesn't that feel soooo good?

  38. Oh my gosh you had me falling on the floor laughing because it's totally something I would of done, and my husband would of been right there with yours. To funny and now I must rush to my target to see whats on sale.

  39. Wow great deals. Too bad my kids are past toys.
    Ipods are never on sale...if they are please let me know. xx

    Did you play with the dino?

  40. Can I be your kid? You've got such great deals there! What a smart shopper you are - even though it take 5 trips to Target to get them! LOL!

  41. HA, i laughed right out loud. Tom is nothing but a big kid himself!

  42. Glad you finally got your toys at 75% off!

  43. Sounds like a fun week at Target, lol! I'll have to check ours to see if they are 75% off too!

  44. Rock on, you!

    Y'know. . . you really ought to have posted about this BEFORE the day came. Then we coulda all been out there with you!

    But I know. You didn't want to share ;)

  45. Stopping by from SITS - i totally get where you are... I'm a total frugal shopper ... congrats on your deals

  46. I CANNOT BELIEVE I didn't check the TOY aisle! I was too busy scooping up $2 t-shirts! I am kicking myself over and over again!

    Oh and I am of course including you in my Sunday Funnies!

  47. WHAT?! Are you effing kidding me? I just spent $30 + tax on that stinkin' Barbie guitar for my nanagirl at Wally World.


    That is so wrong.

  48. My hubby and I have these same conversations after I shop and am so proud of how much I save, and he only seems to care about how much I spend. Men! I am impressed at those deals you got there! I love it when I save more than I actually spend!

  49. It is amazing how much remote control toys can control husbands. Amazing and AWESOME.

  50. AWESOME! I'd go crazy too... even though I don't have any kids. I have a habit of buying heaps of useless kids shit for when kids come to visit. Actually, it's just another excuse for being a shopaholic!

  51. Wow - great job finding those deals! I never knew they had those kind of mark downs at Target.

  52. Dang-- missed the big sale, didn't I? I wouldn't re-sell stuff on eBay, either, I'd only buy for my grandkids! Glad you scored such a nice (but restrained) haul! Yahoo for you!

  53. well dang, that would have been fun! Good on you for holding out!

  54. LOLs

    This reminded me of when I was in Target this weekend.

    There was a woman in the same isle as me, talking to herself. 'Oh I wonder where it is... Hmmmm'. 'Oh that's to cute, wow!'.

    I was waiting for her to just turn her head to me and say 'Well isn't it!?'.


    Stopping by from SITS! :)

  55. I also read the book and have been waiting FOREVER on the film. I began reading your blog, but decided I had better wait until I see it myself this week. Thanks for stopping by my blog.


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