Thursday, January 7, 2010

People Who Annoy Me

My patience has been thin today and it didn’t help when my darling daughter rudely stole (and ATE) my last Reeses Peanut Butter Cup. Then she had the audacity to call me a poo head and I’m sorry, if anyone is a poo head around here it’s her because she should know not to eat another woman’s chocolate. Anyhow, I decided to make a list of people who annoy me. And mind you, these are just for fun, not meant to offend.

People Who Annoy Me Are....


People who start lawsuits claiming that fast food made them fat. Hello? Don’t buy the fast food then!

Children who steal their mother’s last Reeses Peanut Butter cups.

People with music on their blogs. I think it’s great that you think Miley Cyrus rocks. But I don’t. Plus, the music winds up frightening me because my husband leaves the sound blasting and I’m not aware until I go to a blog with music and nearly pass out from fright.

People that ride my car’s ass when I’m going the speed limit. You know how people have a personal bubble around them? So do cars. Back off.

Kate Gosselin. And her gross looks-like-a-fool-with-those-diamond-earrings ex-husband.

Men who wear diamond earrings.

People on eBay who bid on something and then don’t pay for it.

Husbands who don’t pick up after themselves.

People who constantly go, “You know what I’m sayin’?” No, I don’t know what you’re saying, actually. Could you tell me what you are saying so you don’t have to keep having to say “You know what I’m sayin’?”

Pretty much everyone who goes on The Maury Show. (Laquinta, you might want to stop sleeping with Darnoosh because he’s currently cheating on you with your best friend Lou. Sorry.)

People who bring their dogs everywhere with them. Hi, I’m here to see you, not Fluffy your creepy dog who actually wears clothes.

People who treat Oprah like she’s some kind of God.

People who don’t get sarcasm. I know Dr. Phil says it’s the lowest form of humor but I find the lowest form of humor hilarious.

Farrah, a teenager on this show called Teen Moms. She had the audacity to yell at her Mom, “Just let me be a real teen!” Newsflash Farrah. You had a baby at sixteen. You don’t get to be a real teen anymore. Sorry.

Uppity mothers who probably were the ones who made Nick JR have to post things like this before each of their shows:



Look, all Nick JR has to tell me is this. “Show will keep child out of your hair. Show will allow you to use the bathroom in peace. Show will give you silence for at least ten minutes.”

That’s all I care about.

I don't care about kinesthetic skills for craps sake!

72 comments:

  1. ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!! I haven't watched the last episode of Teen Moms yet and I only watch the paternity episodes of Maury cuz I love the spider webs of women and children that some men have, and how their Momma's get up and go "he's not the Baby Daddy of ANY of your kids cuz he is my baby" ... yeah, well, he turned out to spread his seed quite well didn't he!? And what is wrong with Sarcasm? HELLO? Dr. Phil is a moron...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with most of those, You know what I’m sayin’?

    ReplyDelete
  3. I LOVE to mockingly tell my daughter what "skills" some cartoon or show will give her (as I surf the web or read blogs while she is FINALLY absorbed in some goofy show!).

    ReplyDelete
  4. So... do you feel better now that you've vented? :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. What is your address I will send you replacement Reese's Cups. Those are money in this house. Ben knows any RC given to him are automatically mine. Hide them in the freezer. They're amazing frozen. :)

    PS All of the people that annoy you annoy me as well. Them, and the people who decided that commercials need to be approximately 12 and 1/2 times louder than the show you are watching.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I have hidden my reese's.
    From everyone.
    Including myself as I can't remember exactly where I hid them.

    grrrr.

    Tell me: What is the kind of brownie that Tom thinks is the best? I was shoppping and I froze; I couldn't remember.

    ReplyDelete
  7. There should be a club for stupid people so we know where they are. Thank you for not playing music on your site....
    We grabbed your button

    ReplyDelete
  8. This just made me LOL!!!! at work mind you HA!! And adding to the fast food annoyance, people who say "wow this coffee's HOT!!!

    no
    shizzle

    ReplyDelete
  9. Totally agree that Nick JR is for keeping kiddos occupodo for more than 3 minutes!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Poo head? My wife calls me that as my nickname! Wow, what a funny post! I am with you on most of these annoying things also.

    Shane

    ReplyDelete
  11. those were great! I especially loved the one about Maury show people...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Music on blogs...YES!
    Slob of husbands...YES!
    Oprah...YES!

    Those 3 are big on my list of irritants.

    ReplyDelete
  13. After I read this post earlier, I went to lunch. And while I was sitting there munching on my food, I thought something else to add to my earlier comment.

    DIVAS annoy me!

    Spoiled 16 yr olds and their sweet 16 parties.

    Maury... annoying... amen!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Most of daytime tv annoys me. The fake court shows, the fake get-help shows, the crass idiot shows, and it doesn't get tons better in prime time.

    :)

    Someone peed in our wheaties today. I wonder if John Krasinski dressed as an EMT bringing you a big bagfull Reese's Peanut Butter Cup would resuscitate you?

    ReplyDelete
  15. You know who REALLY annoys me, speaking of Farrah? Her MOM. OMG. Did you see how controlling and cold she was on Sixteen and Pregnant? Ugh!

    ReplyDelete
  16. That was great. and your daughter high on the list.

    I think we get annoyed by the same things.. sista !!

    I love sarcasm too.. go lowest form

    ReplyDelete
  17. LMAO! Awesome list! All of those annoy the crap out of me. I just find Jon Goesslin creepy and gross.

    People who take up entire aisle in the store annoy me. And daughters who eat all but one of the white chocolate covered oreos annoy me!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Now I hate those uppity moms if that's the kind of crap Nick Jr espouses because of it!

    Did you see Kate Gosselin's new long hairdo? She got it all weaved in and she looks like somebody completely different. Google it!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Wow...yes to almost all of those...and to people who still make me type in words that aren't in the dictionary to post a blog-diggity post response ;)

    ~WM

    ReplyDelete
  20. You forgot to add Twihard Moms. Other than that, I agree completely. I don't care if Kate got extensions - she still SUCKS! Plus they were saying it took over 15 hours to do. Hello?! Where the eff were her kids for 15 hours while she got her hair did? Hmph.

    As you can see I'm in my own little snit today. :|

    ReplyDelete
  21. Ha! You crack me up! Funny!
    Here's what happened at our house....My three year old Jack asks me "MOMMY! WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL MY CHOCOLATE CANDY SANTA LEFT IN MY STOCKING?" (yes he was shouting) I replied "Well, mommy ate it because you left it out." Jack replies "STOP DOING THIS TO ME MOMMY! IT'S NOT FAIR! (stomping his foot) THIS IS SO STUPID!!" Poor guy. He should know better than to leave chocolate out where mommy can find it. Ha!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Ditto on the annoying things and people.

    You know what else annoys me? People in line at the deli who have to taste and/or see each item. Hello?? It's ham. It's sliced thin.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Farrah annoys the shit out of me, too.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Love this!

    I'm actually okay with those little learning announements on Nick Jr. Makes me feel better about turning on the tv so that I can ignore my children.

    Oprah annoys the crap out of me.

    ReplyDelete
  25. I don't like the music on blogs either. Like you, it often startles me, usually conflicts with whatever I am listening to at the time, and sometimes makes it take forever for the page to load.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I knew I'd like this post. And I LOVED IT. Amen. AMEN.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hahahaha that post just made my day! Thank you :)

    ReplyDelete
  28. I agree on all accounts! Especially the crap on Nick Jr.

    Especially how they almost all enhance "interpersonal skills," um, yeah right!

    ReplyDelete
  29. omg you are SO funny!!! Seriously you sound exactly like me in my head! hahahah

    ReplyDelete
  30. I love it. All those same people annoy me too.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I totally agree. And dont even know what most of the words mean at the begining of the Nick Jr shows. They make me feel dumb.

    ReplyDelete
  32. More please!! There are so many more annoying things - I heart you.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Love the NickJr.. shows that give you peace, LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  34. I don't even know what kinesthetic skills are...

    ReplyDelete
  35. You're hilarious! I agree with you on all of them. They should post a warning on all chocolate- "If this belongs to someone else don't eat it as this will make you a poohead."

    ReplyDelete
  36. Rock on! I agree on every point. :D I'm super annoyed at people today, nothing is helping. Hope sleep makes the world right again.

    ReplyDelete
  37. "but I find the lowest form of humor hilarious"....if you don't enjoy sarcasm you're not worth my time. And, for the record, my darling daughter makes me list too.
    Far too often.

    ReplyDelete
  38. OH EM GEE!

    I almost (and might) post about about the show Teen Moms. Farrah who stuck out the most to me in when she was pregnant, gets on my ever living nerve! I cant believe her parents dont just throw her out on her ass! I hate that she thinks the guys dont like her because she has a daughter.. They dont lik her because she has such a horrible attitude and is a horrible mother! I am so with you on that one!

    Actually I'm there with you 100 percent. In fact I HAD music on my blog, but took it off because it bothered even me!

    ReplyDelete
  39. I soooooo feel your annoyances on this one!!

    ReplyDelete
  40. You had me at people children who eat their mother's chocolate. I hide mine.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I am lol...you are a crack up! I related with you on so many of those.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Did you see Kate Gosselin's nasty hair extensions on the cover of People magazine? Worse than the reverse mullet.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Darnoosh. You made that name up! Please tell me you made that name up.

    ReplyDelete
  44. I'm right there with you on all of these. I really get annoyed when my kids eat my last piece of licorice. :)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Yes. Thank you!

    Only mine is 5 year olds eating the last of my frozen Junior Mints. Hello! WTF? I put them in there FOR A REASON!

    Glad I'm not the only adult watching Teen Mom. I'd say you make me feel more normal, but... well...

    Tailgaters can KISS IT!

    ReplyDelete
  46. So... this is where the vast of ocean between us makes me either ridiculously out of the loop or just plain naive!

    Things I don't know anything about...
    1. Penis Butter Cups
    2. Kate Gosselin
    3. The Maury Show
    4. Teen Moms
    5. Nick JR

    Things that no amount of water can make less annoying:
    1. Car Arse Bastards
    2. Men (?) who wear diamond earrings
    3. Ebay avoiders
    4. Lazy fucker husbands
    5. Fuckwits who obviously have no idea what they are saying - I also hate 'You know what I mean' and 'You don't understand'

    Reasons you should hate me:
    1. Furry baby - although it's too hot for him to wear clothes.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I hear what you're saying! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  48. TOTALLY agree with those complaints. I remember reading an article about a teenage girl who whined that she was fat because she ate McDonald's every day after school. No, sweetie, you're fat because you have no will power, and, judging by your lawsuit, no conscience either.

    ReplyDelete
  49. oh i am SO with you on that entire list pretty much...except the reeses...i hate peanut butter with a passion!

    ReplyDelete
  50. anyone who steals my chocolate is banned for life!!!

    I find sarcasm over-rated! (I'm being sarcastic...)

    ReplyDelete
  51. Isn't Farrah ridiculous? She drives me nuts!!!! I feel so bad for Maci. And Amber--she's just worthless! I wish she'd put her baby up for adoption!

    ReplyDelete
  52. #2 took me totally by surprise.

    As for Teen Moms -- why would I watch it when I can see it play out in real life right here at home? Shudder....

    ReplyDelete
  53. I agree with you on most of these. I'm actually not a Kate hater tho'.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Funny post, you know what I'm sayin? And, Dr. Phil is just jealous his sarcasm would not be appreciated on this blog post!

    ReplyDelete
  55. Who cares what Dr. Phil thinks?! No one? That's what I thought.

    Visiting from SITS!

    ReplyDelete
  56. ROFL!!! This is too funny! I especially agree about the Nick Jr. thing! My husband says that ALL the time. He says they put it up there for those parents that feel guilty about using TV as a babysitter. It's still a cartoon for crying out loud! Does anyone even know what half the stuff they say they're teaching our kids is?

    Stopping by from SITS!

    ReplyDelete
  57. i think i might love you.

    and for the sheer fact that i'm not the only adult who watches Teen Mom--and wants to punch Farrah in the neck.

    pretty much all of your annoyances drive me batty. being annoyed is like my job--my very low, low paying job.

    ReplyDelete
  58. YES- YES- YES.. to the music on the blog thing.. i LOVE music, really i do... but it always startles me and i almost piss my pants every time!

    great list..

    have a great wkend!!!

    ReplyDelete
  59. i hear ya on the mcdonalds peeps.

    i have music on my blog, so i guess im annoying. but at least my player is at the top so you can turn it off. i do hate it when its a song i cant stand like chatahoochee and i cant find the player to shut it down.

    not changing it. cuz i play cool music on my blog.. :) and frightening my readers is a teeny goal of mine... mua ha ha ha ha...

    just kidding ..

    ReplyDelete
  60. I agree with you about the music! I actually don't go back to blogs that have music because it is so annoying. I have enough background noise all day. I don't need more!!

    Oprah and Maury.....amen, sistah.

    Dr. Phil is the lowest form of therapist. It's easy to sound smart when you get to hand pick your "clients." I'd like for him to work one day at the local Mental Health dept. where you are not allowed to refuse service to idiot people who think you have some kind of sprinkle dust that will cure them or their child of being a fire starter, wrist slasher, hallucinator and/or puppy kicker without them making any changes themselves.

    Oh, and I totally attribute Noggin to my children's straight A's and my sanity! Two birds, one stone. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  61. do NOT touch my peanut butter cups!! That's the only candy I am protective of. However I never leave any to be touched. Shh!

    I think I basically agree with everything! Stopping in from SITS

    ReplyDelete
  62. I'm sayin' these are great! Amen!

    Have a great day and may God bless it!!!

    ReplyDelete
  63. I am so glad someone finally said something about that girl Farrah on Teen Moms! She needs a reality check- although having a baby at 16 should have been enough of a reality check! If you get knocked up when youre a teenager and decide not to give the baby up for adoption, then you have to grow up. You no longer have the right to "just be a teen"...you dont get to go out whenever you want (which is what she seems to think she can do). Thank god someone else agrees with me on this! I was seriously just about to write a blog about that show- she made my skin crawl!

    About the Reeses Cup.. thats just tragic. At least it was your daughter who stole it and not a random neighborhood child. Im sure I would've stole it right back if it wasnt my child! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  64. LOL. I am so with you on Laquinta, Darnoosh (awesome name by the way) and Oprah. Yah, I am a little over O.

    ReplyDelete
  65. So, you get annoyed sometimes? Couldn't help but use some sarcasm. Whatever, Dr. Phil...you suck!

    ReplyDelete
  66. Happy SITS Sharefest Saturday.
    That might be the best list ever! I cannot stand the music either...I want silence. You can add Kate Gosselin's $7000 hair extensions to the list now too. Oprah is over, and and I don't think Dr. Phil has a sense of humor.

    Holly @ 504 Main

    ReplyDelete
  67. You should get that bumper sticker that says, "If you're going to ride my ass, at least you should introduce yourself." Or another one that I saw said, "If you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair while doing so!"

    I never saw the greatness of Oprah. I mean, I know she does wonderful things for people, but I feel that she's a little full of herself.

    People who eat my chocolate would DEFINITELY annoy me. They would do more than that. THey would PISS ME THE HELL OFF.

    ReplyDelete
  68. I love it! Although you must be more patient than me because I am sure my list would be longer, much longer!

    Oh and no one steals another woman's chocolate, it does not matter if it's a daughter or not!

    I included you in my Sunday Funnies: http://tinyurl.com/yhub64y

    ReplyDelete
  69. Your daughter ate your last Reese's cup AND called you a poo head?

    You call someone a poo head in my family, you best be ready to back that mess up.

    ReplyDelete
  70. P.S. Tailgating throws me into giant fits of rage. There is supposed to be a minimum of TWO CAR LENGTHS between each car. Poo heads.

    ReplyDelete
  71. I love you. I don't even know know what "kinesthetic" means. Do I have that skill? I don't know.

    Oprah sucks.

    Oh, and the dogs! I hate that. An inlaw brought their dog to Christmas dinner. And it sat on my couch. I don't even let MY dog sit on the couch.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment!

Share This

 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...