Thursday, January 7, 2010

People Who Annoy Me

My patience has been thin today and it didn’t help when my darling daughter rudely stole (and ATE) my last Reeses Peanut Butter Cup. Then she had the audacity to call me a poo head and I’m sorry, if anyone is a poo head around here it’s her because she should know not to eat another woman’s chocolate. Anyhow, I decided to make a list of people who annoy me. And mind you, these are just for fun, not meant to offend.

People Who Annoy Me Are....

People who start lawsuits claiming that fast food made them fat. Hello? Don’t buy the fast food then!

Children who steal their mother’s last Reeses Peanut Butter cups.

People with music on their blogs. I think it’s great that you think Miley Cyrus rocks. But I don’t. Plus, the music winds up frightening me because my husband leaves the sound blasting and I’m not aware until I go to a blog with music and nearly pass out from fright.

People that ride my car’s ass when I’m going the speed limit. You know how people have a personal bubble around them? So do cars. Back off.

Kate Gosselin. And her gross looks-like-a-fool-with-those-diamond-earrings ex-husband.

Men who wear diamond earrings.

People on eBay who bid on something and then don’t pay for it.

Husbands who don’t pick up after themselves.

People who constantly go, “You know what I’m sayin’?” No, I don’t know what you’re saying, actually. Could you tell me what you are saying so you don’t have to keep having to say “You know what I’m sayin’?”

Pretty much everyone who goes on The Maury Show. (Laquinta, you might want to stop sleeping with Darnoosh because he’s currently cheating on you with your best friend Lou. Sorry.)

People who bring their dogs everywhere with them. Hi, I’m here to see you, not Fluffy your creepy dog who actually wears clothes.

People who treat Oprah like she’s some kind of God.

People who don’t get sarcasm. I know Dr. Phil says it’s the lowest form of humor but I find the lowest form of humor hilarious.

Farrah, a teenager on this show called Teen Moms. She had the audacity to yell at her Mom, “Just let me be a real teen!” Newsflash Farrah. You had a baby at sixteen. You don’t get to be a real teen anymore. Sorry.

Uppity mothers who probably were the ones who made Nick JR have to post things like this before each of their shows:

Look, all Nick JR has to tell me is this. “Show will keep child out of your hair. Show will allow you to use the bathroom in peace. Show will give you silence for at least ten minutes.”

That’s all I care about.

I don't care about kinesthetic skills for craps sake!


  1. ROFLMBO!!!!!!!!!! I haven't watched the last episode of Teen Moms yet and I only watch the paternity episodes of Maury cuz I love the spider webs of women and children that some men have, and how their Momma's get up and go "he's not the Baby Daddy of ANY of your kids cuz he is my baby" ... yeah, well, he turned out to spread his seed quite well didn't he!? And what is wrong with Sarcasm? HELLO? Dr. Phil is a moron...

  2. I agree with most of those, You know what I’m sayin’?

  3. I LOVE to mockingly tell my daughter what "skills" some cartoon or show will give her (as I surf the web or read blogs while she is FINALLY absorbed in some goofy show!).

  4. So... do you feel better now that you've vented? :)

  5. What is your address I will send you replacement Reese's Cups. Those are money in this house. Ben knows any RC given to him are automatically mine. Hide them in the freezer. They're amazing frozen. :)

    PS All of the people that annoy you annoy me as well. Them, and the people who decided that commercials need to be approximately 12 and 1/2 times louder than the show you are watching.

  6. I have hidden my reese's.
    From everyone.
    Including myself as I can't remember exactly where I hid them.


    Tell me: What is the kind of brownie that Tom thinks is the best? I was shoppping and I froze; I couldn't remember.

  7. There should be a club for stupid people so we know where they are. Thank you for not playing music on your site....
    We grabbed your button

  8. This just made me LOL!!!! at work mind you HA!! And adding to the fast food annoyance, people who say "wow this coffee's HOT!!!


  9. Totally agree that Nick JR is for keeping kiddos occupodo for more than 3 minutes!

  10. Poo head? My wife calls me that as my nickname! Wow, what a funny post! I am with you on most of these annoying things also.


  11. those were great! I especially loved the one about Maury show people...

  12. Music on blogs...YES!
    Slob of husbands...YES!

    Those 3 are big on my list of irritants.

  13. After I read this post earlier, I went to lunch. And while I was sitting there munching on my food, I thought something else to add to my earlier comment.

    DIVAS annoy me!

    Spoiled 16 yr olds and their sweet 16 parties.

    Maury... annoying... amen!

  14. Most of daytime tv annoys me. The fake court shows, the fake get-help shows, the crass idiot shows, and it doesn't get tons better in prime time.


    Someone peed in our wheaties today. I wonder if John Krasinski dressed as an EMT bringing you a big bagfull Reese's Peanut Butter Cup would resuscitate you?

  15. You know who REALLY annoys me, speaking of Farrah? Her MOM. OMG. Did you see how controlling and cold she was on Sixteen and Pregnant? Ugh!

  16. That was great. and your daughter high on the list.

    I think we get annoyed by the same things.. sista !!

    I love sarcasm too.. go lowest form

  17. LMAO! Awesome list! All of those annoy the crap out of me. I just find Jon Goesslin creepy and gross.

    People who take up entire aisle in the store annoy me. And daughters who eat all but one of the white chocolate covered oreos annoy me!

  18. Now I hate those uppity moms if that's the kind of crap Nick Jr espouses because of it!

    Did you see Kate Gosselin's new long hairdo? She got it all weaved in and she looks like somebody completely different. Google it!

  19. Wow...yes to almost all of those...and to people who still make me type in words that aren't in the dictionary to post a blog-diggity post response ;)


  20. You forgot to add Twihard Moms. Other than that, I agree completely. I don't care if Kate got extensions - she still SUCKS! Plus they were saying it took over 15 hours to do. Hello?! Where the eff were her kids for 15 hours while she got her hair did? Hmph.

    As you can see I'm in my own little snit today. :|

  21. Ha! You crack me up! Funny!
    Here's what happened at our house....My three year old Jack asks me "MOMMY! WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL MY CHOCOLATE CANDY SANTA LEFT IN MY STOCKING?" (yes he was shouting) I replied "Well, mommy ate it because you left it out." Jack replies "STOP DOING THIS TO ME MOMMY! IT'S NOT FAIR! (stomping his foot) THIS IS SO STUPID!!" Poor guy. He should know better than to leave chocolate out where mommy can find it. Ha!

  22. Ditto on the annoying things and people.

    You know what else annoys me? People in line at the deli who have to taste and/or see each item. Hello?? It's ham. It's sliced thin.

  23. Farrah annoys the shit out of me, too.

  24. Love this!

    I'm actually okay with those little learning announements on Nick Jr. Makes me feel better about turning on the tv so that I can ignore my children.

    Oprah annoys the crap out of me.

  25. I don't like the music on blogs either. Like you, it often startles me, usually conflicts with whatever I am listening to at the time, and sometimes makes it take forever for the page to load.

  26. I knew I'd like this post. And I LOVED IT. Amen. AMEN.

  27. Hahahaha that post just made my day! Thank you :)

  28. I agree on all accounts! Especially the crap on Nick Jr.

    Especially how they almost all enhance "interpersonal skills," um, yeah right!

  29. omg you are SO funny!!! Seriously you sound exactly like me in my head! hahahah

  30. I love it. All those same people annoy me too.

  31. I totally agree. And dont even know what most of the words mean at the begining of the Nick Jr shows. They make me feel dumb.

  32. More please!! There are so many more annoying things - I heart you.

  33. Love the NickJr.. shows that give you peace, LOL!

  34. I don't even know what kinesthetic skills are...

  35. You're hilarious! I agree with you on all of them. They should post a warning on all chocolate- "If this belongs to someone else don't eat it as this will make you a poohead."

  36. Rock on! I agree on every point. :D I'm super annoyed at people today, nothing is helping. Hope sleep makes the world right again.

  37. "but I find the lowest form of humor hilarious"....if you don't enjoy sarcasm you're not worth my time. And, for the record, my darling daughter makes me list too.
    Far too often.

  38. OH EM GEE!

    I almost (and might) post about about the show Teen Moms. Farrah who stuck out the most to me in when she was pregnant, gets on my ever living nerve! I cant believe her parents dont just throw her out on her ass! I hate that she thinks the guys dont like her because she has a daughter.. They dont lik her because she has such a horrible attitude and is a horrible mother! I am so with you on that one!

    Actually I'm there with you 100 percent. In fact I HAD music on my blog, but took it off because it bothered even me!

  39. I soooooo feel your annoyances on this one!!

  40. You had me at people children who eat their mother's chocolate. I hide mine.

  41. I am are a crack up! I related with you on so many of those.

  42. Did you see Kate Gosselin's nasty hair extensions on the cover of People magazine? Worse than the reverse mullet.

  43. Darnoosh. You made that name up! Please tell me you made that name up.

  44. I'm right there with you on all of these. I really get annoyed when my kids eat my last piece of licorice. :)

  45. Yes. Thank you!

    Only mine is 5 year olds eating the last of my frozen Junior Mints. Hello! WTF? I put them in there FOR A REASON!

    Glad I'm not the only adult watching Teen Mom. I'd say you make me feel more normal, but... well...

    Tailgaters can KISS IT!

  46. So... this is where the vast of ocean between us makes me either ridiculously out of the loop or just plain naive!

    Things I don't know anything about...
    1. Penis Butter Cups
    2. Kate Gosselin
    3. The Maury Show
    4. Teen Moms
    5. Nick JR

    Things that no amount of water can make less annoying:
    1. Car Arse Bastards
    2. Men (?) who wear diamond earrings
    3. Ebay avoiders
    4. Lazy fucker husbands
    5. Fuckwits who obviously have no idea what they are saying - I also hate 'You know what I mean' and 'You don't understand'

    Reasons you should hate me:
    1. Furry baby - although it's too hot for him to wear clothes.

  47. I hear what you're saying! ;)

  48. TOTALLY agree with those complaints. I remember reading an article about a teenage girl who whined that she was fat because she ate McDonald's every day after school. No, sweetie, you're fat because you have no will power, and, judging by your lawsuit, no conscience either.

  49. oh i am SO with you on that entire list pretty much...except the reeses...i hate peanut butter with a passion!

  50. anyone who steals my chocolate is banned for life!!!

    I find sarcasm over-rated! (I'm being sarcastic...)

  51. Isn't Farrah ridiculous? She drives me nuts!!!! I feel so bad for Maci. And Amber--she's just worthless! I wish she'd put her baby up for adoption!

  52. #2 took me totally by surprise.

    As for Teen Moms -- why would I watch it when I can see it play out in real life right here at home? Shudder....

  53. I agree with you on most of these. I'm actually not a Kate hater tho'.

  54. Funny post, you know what I'm sayin? And, Dr. Phil is just jealous his sarcasm would not be appreciated on this blog post!

  55. Who cares what Dr. Phil thinks?! No one? That's what I thought.

    Visiting from SITS!

  56. ROFL!!! This is too funny! I especially agree about the Nick Jr. thing! My husband says that ALL the time. He says they put it up there for those parents that feel guilty about using TV as a babysitter. It's still a cartoon for crying out loud! Does anyone even know what half the stuff they say they're teaching our kids is?

    Stopping by from SITS!

  57. i think i might love you.

    and for the sheer fact that i'm not the only adult who watches Teen Mom--and wants to punch Farrah in the neck.

    pretty much all of your annoyances drive me batty. being annoyed is like my job--my very low, low paying job.

  58. YES- YES- YES.. to the music on the blog thing.. i LOVE music, really i do... but it always startles me and i almost piss my pants every time!

    great list..

    have a great wkend!!!

  59. i hear ya on the mcdonalds peeps.

    i have music on my blog, so i guess im annoying. but at least my player is at the top so you can turn it off. i do hate it when its a song i cant stand like chatahoochee and i cant find the player to shut it down.

    not changing it. cuz i play cool music on my blog.. :) and frightening my readers is a teeny goal of mine... mua ha ha ha ha...

    just kidding ..

  60. I agree with you about the music! I actually don't go back to blogs that have music because it is so annoying. I have enough background noise all day. I don't need more!!

    Oprah and Maury.....amen, sistah.

    Dr. Phil is the lowest form of therapist. It's easy to sound smart when you get to hand pick your "clients." I'd like for him to work one day at the local Mental Health dept. where you are not allowed to refuse service to idiot people who think you have some kind of sprinkle dust that will cure them or their child of being a fire starter, wrist slasher, hallucinator and/or puppy kicker without them making any changes themselves.

    Oh, and I totally attribute Noggin to my children's straight A's and my sanity! Two birds, one stone. ;)

  61. do NOT touch my peanut butter cups!! That's the only candy I am protective of. However I never leave any to be touched. Shh!

    I think I basically agree with everything! Stopping in from SITS

  62. I'm sayin' these are great! Amen!

    Have a great day and may God bless it!!!

  63. I am so glad someone finally said something about that girl Farrah on Teen Moms! She needs a reality check- although having a baby at 16 should have been enough of a reality check! If you get knocked up when youre a teenager and decide not to give the baby up for adoption, then you have to grow up. You no longer have the right to "just be a teen" dont get to go out whenever you want (which is what she seems to think she can do). Thank god someone else agrees with me on this! I was seriously just about to write a blog about that show- she made my skin crawl!

    About the Reeses Cup.. thats just tragic. At least it was your daughter who stole it and not a random neighborhood child. Im sure I would've stole it right back if it wasnt my child! ;)

  64. LOL. I am so with you on Laquinta, Darnoosh (awesome name by the way) and Oprah. Yah, I am a little over O.

  65. So, you get annoyed sometimes? Couldn't help but use some sarcasm. Whatever, Dr. suck!

  66. Happy SITS Sharefest Saturday.
    That might be the best list ever! I cannot stand the music either...I want silence. You can add Kate Gosselin's $7000 hair extensions to the list now too. Oprah is over, and and I don't think Dr. Phil has a sense of humor.

    Holly @ 504 Main

  67. You should get that bumper sticker that says, "If you're going to ride my ass, at least you should introduce yourself." Or another one that I saw said, "If you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair while doing so!"

    I never saw the greatness of Oprah. I mean, I know she does wonderful things for people, but I feel that she's a little full of herself.

    People who eat my chocolate would DEFINITELY annoy me. They would do more than that. THey would PISS ME THE HELL OFF.

  68. I love it! Although you must be more patient than me because I am sure my list would be longer, much longer!

    Oh and no one steals another woman's chocolate, it does not matter if it's a daughter or not!

    I included you in my Sunday Funnies:

  69. Your daughter ate your last Reese's cup AND called you a poo head?

    You call someone a poo head in my family, you best be ready to back that mess up.

  70. P.S. Tailgating throws me into giant fits of rage. There is supposed to be a minimum of TWO CAR LENGTHS between each car. Poo heads.

  71. I love you. I don't even know know what "kinesthetic" means. Do I have that skill? I don't know.

    Oprah sucks.

    Oh, and the dogs! I hate that. An inlaw brought their dog to Christmas dinner. And it sat on my couch. I don't even let MY dog sit on the couch.


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