Monday, January 4, 2010

What Do You Mean Big Meal?

“So what big meal are we having on New Years Eve?” Tom asked. (The day before New Years Eve, I might add.)

I looked up with a start. What was wrong with Tom? Why was he using the words ‘big meal’ at me? Didn’t he realize that I had just done two big meals (Thanksgiving and Christmas thankyouverymuch) and that I was done with the big meals until next year? Sometimes I think he forgets that he’s not married to Martha Stewart.

“Um. I was thinking about popping a pizza in the oven and calling it a night,” I admitted with a shrug. To be honest, I hadn’t even thought about a New Years Eve meal. I didn’t really think it was a big deal. So we’re ringing in the New Year. Big whoop. I got some sparkling grape juice to celebrate that. Wasn’t that enough?

“A pizza?” Tom spit out the word as though it were dirty.

“Yeah, I got the cheese stuffed crust one that you like,” I said grandly.

“A pizza?” Tom repeated. Now his nose was all scrunched up as though he were smelling his own fart, which I must say, can knock a grown man over. It’s disgusting.

“Look, if you want to make a ‘big meal’”—I made quotes with my fingers here—“then go for it. I won’t stop you.”

Tom frowned. “I know I don’t want to have a frozen pizza for dinner.”

I smiled sweetly. “Well, it won’t be frozen after it’s cooked.”

He stuck his tongue out. “You know what I mean. We have to have something...better…”

“And like I said, you’re welcome to make something better. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m in the middle of a riveting episode of Dawson’s Creek. It’s the one where Dawson tells Joey to go with Pacey because he loves her so much that he wants her to be happy. It’s sweet, really, although when Joey runs off Dawson starts to cry and he looks constipated so I can’t help but laugh even though it’s supposed to be this poignant moment,” I said.

Tom looked confused. “So two dudes get it on in that show?”

“No, Tom. Joey is a girl. How many times do I have to explain this to you? Joey was played by Katie Holmes, who is now Tom Cruise’s prisoner. Can you believe that he tries to get people to call her Kate? It’s like, Tom, sorry, her name is Katie not Kate. How would he like it everyone started calling him Thomas Cruise?”

Tom shook his head. “Look, I don’t care about your girly shows. Can we get some good food on New Years Eve or what?”

I thought about it for a second. “I can make marinated chicken but that’s my final offer.”

“With mashed potatoes and corn?” Tom wondered hopefully.

“Sure, if you’ll make some devilled eggs.”


So we had marinated chicken and the delicious devilled eggs. I can’t get enough of those things.

Tom went to bed before midnight since he had work the next day. Natalie passed out around nine. She kept saying, “Happy New Year!” every few seconds and it was cute the first few times but after awhile I wanted to pull off my ears.

Tommy stayed up with me though. He’s powered by ADHD so he was fully awake by 11:

He kept asking me all sorts of questions like what time was it in England (we used to live there and he still asks about it), did carrots really help you see better, would he be getting some Fun Slides because he really, really wanted some, what was Santa doing now, did he bring in the new year with his elves, when would he start Algebra and was it true that I really got a D in Algebra in high school (yes), and why was the moon blue outside, was it because Cookie Monster was sitting on it?

“How about we be quiet for a few minutes?” I suggested. I pressed a finger to my lips. “Hey, do you want to watch this show called Dawson’s Creek?”

“No, I want to watch the New Years show at New York. Can we go to New York someday? Can we see the Empire State Building? Kevin was in New York in Home Alone 2. He got the burglars again,” Tommy prattled on.

So we watched the New York show and I realized that I must be getting old because most of the singers that came on made my head ache.

Then it fell silent and I relished in the quiet and tried to read—it was ten minutes until midnight. But then I peeked on the couch and Tommy was passed out.

I was going to let him sleep but I figured he’d be upset when he woke up the next morning so I shook him awake.

“I wasn’t sleeping!” he told me.


We rang in the New Year together and then went to bed.

When I climbed into bed I kissed Tom’s head and whispered Happy New Year in his ear.

“The gym is down the street,” Tom mumbled.

Okay. Obviously he was sleep talking.

“Happy New Year, Tom,” I said again.

“I’d like an orange.”

“I love you, too, Tom. Here’s to a fantastic 2010.”


  1. Is it wrong that my husband did all of our big meal cooking this holiday season? I figure that I'm usually the "go to" parent for Cameron so he can cook. He even did the dishes one night. Yes, I'm a lucky woman!

  2. I'm powered by ADHD too must be why I wasn't ready to call it a night until 1 am :P lol

    Tommy is SO cute! He's getting so big!

  3. Why do men think, that women love to think about and prepare big meals?
    No answer required....;-)

  4. I'd be all over the pizza plan on New Year's Eve too. I've never heard of a "big meal" that night. Your Tom...he's kooky! ;)

  5. That is so typical. What are "You" making for dinner lol!! I hear that here too and I usually say, you want a big meal, there is the kitchen.

  6. Sounds about like my New Year's Eve. I watched Dick Clark's show with my son too. Everyone else was asleep. Of course, we're on central standard time so my son kept saying that it wasn't the same to see the ball drop because techinically it already happened an hour earlier. I really hate it that as they get older, they get smarter.

  7. Tommy is adorable! Love his smile! Sounds like a great New Years.

  8. LOLOL!! I totally know the "powered by ADHD" thing. That's funny that Tom sleep talks, so does Dennis. I can have entire conversations with him and not know if he's truly awake, so I end up repeating the conversation in the morning. At least you are clued into the fact that Tom is asleep! LOL...

    Soooooo ... no orange gyms down the street for Tom! LOL

  9. Happy New Year girlie, hope you get that book published. Chick Lit is in in this house..

  10. Tom is silly. You have "snack dinner" on New Year's Eve. That's where you open boxes of frozen shit (taquitos, pizza rolls, ect) and cook those. Put out chips, dips, crackers, cheese, summer sausage and gorge yourself all night long to soak up the alcohol you're consuming, power u up through board games, and fuel that stay awake until midnight. So basically, you were right on track with the frozen pizza. The "big meal" is on New Year's Day.


  11. Oh you are FUNNY!!!!!!! I love your writing style. The quotes and the pizza not being frozen after you cook it? Had me laughing.

  12. We went to the grocery store on New Years Eve, got snack food, and then watched District 9 for New Years Eve.
    We had a "Big Meal" on New Years day.

  13. i think we had mcdonald's for new year's eve. and maybe some pillsbury cookies--the super lazy kind that are pre-sliced.

    yeah, i wasn't cooking either.

  14. After 2 Christmas Dinners, we graze pretty much until we can fit back into our jeans. Come March, we're back to normal....

  15. I am so with you, there is no 'big meal' cooking at my house on new year's eve either.

  16. We had pizza. I agree with you that there is nothing wrong with that!

  17. I've told this story I don't know how many times, but one time when I was sitting next to my mom while she slept, she said out of the blue, "I'm gonna go up there, kill that horse and have it for dinner." At least Tom just asked for an orange.

  18. Tommy reminds me of the energizer bunny whose battery just abruptly ran out. He is just so darn cute!

  19. Your family is too cute! We hade filet and shrimp which my hubby made. But honestly I love frozen pizza so I would have been happy with that. My kids did not even come close to making it until midnight. Happy New Year!

  20. "It won't be frozen after it's cooked."

    Classic stuff. Love it.

    Where in England did you live? We were in the Air Force and lived there, too!

  21. Hahaha! You never fail to make me laugh. I can't remember the last time I've cooked dinner at all! Sure I bake, I love baking treats but cooking dinner? Ugh!

  22. Haha you sucker! I so would have stuck with the pizza! ;)

  23. We had frozen pizza on NYE. The teen/young adult was scheduled to be at a party & so we didn't have time to eat out.

    I fell asleep twice on the couch but was up at midnight while hubs was snoozing away by then. He should have taken a nap too!

    Happy New Year!

  24. I should go to your house. I love making big meals and have no one to feed.

  25. I just laughed my head off start to finish! That was a fabulous post. Love the Tom/Katie stuff. You are a fab writer girl. Looking forward to the next dirty laundry installment.

  26. This farm chick is just a little spastic too. Your little fella is just precious. Men......they'll never get it!

    Have a wonderfully blessed day!!!

  27. Cracking me up! And my post today is about my family wanting me to cook to please them.
    Don't tell - we had pizza on New Years!

  28. Haha! Here in Boston our "big meal" on New Years Eve is Chinese food. It's so popular you have to order it at least 24 hours in advance.

  29. that's too too funny! you have the most entertaining family.

    and i love dawson's creek too. but my family thinks it's terrible and will never watch it with me. grr!

  30. I would have been all over pizza! Instead I made hamburgers and skillet potatoes....they were delicious!

  31. "What was wrong with Tom? Why was he using the words ‘big meal’ at me?"

    THIS cracked me up! I felt your pain. . .

  32. 'Orange' you glad he didn't request a Big Meal for New Years day too - that would push me over the top ;)


  33. Do you know that you really, really make me laugh?

    Thanks for that. :)

    Happy New Year!

  34. A big meal could have been having an extra pizza so there was some cold slices leftover for breakfast in the morning. :)

    I'm glad Tommy kept ya company. I'm sure it was a big deal for him to stay up.

  35. Your post do make me smile!!!

    Left ya something on my blog :)

  36. We did eat pizza...we actually made home made pizza's so the kids could do their own....then it was "special" ....I probably would've had'em eat some cereal other wise. They could have toasted their glass bowls with fruit loops in them at midnight ;oD

  37. I'm not sure if my favorite line is "It won't be frozen after I cook it" or "powered by ADD".

    My kids are powered by anger and Capri Suns. Oh, and Fudge Rounds.

  38. At least Tommy stayed up most of the night with you - that's cute!

    I would have been happy with pizza for the meal. PIzza is one of my favorite foods!


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