Monday, March 15, 2010

Kid Free Time

“Look at all this hair!”

“Have you SEEN so much hair?”

“It’s so incredibly thick.”

“It’s really pretty.”

“Yes, pretty, but I imagine it takes a lot of work.”

I sat in the chair at Regis Hair Salon while my hairdresser and her hairdresser friend spoke about my hair as if I weren’t even there.

A part of me wanted to clear my throat and remind them that hello, the thick hair had an owner.

I was enjoying some Kid Free time as I got my hair done. In fact, I was enjoying a Kid Free couple of hours with my friend Amanda. I had left the kids with my husband Tom and was enjoying being able to sit for five minutes without having to get up and break up a fight or find someone a snack. It was bliss.

Well, aside from the fact that people were behaving like I wasn’t actually there.

“I wonder how long it takes to wash?” my hairdresser mused.

“About twenty minutes,” I spoke up.

Both hairdressers startled as though they had forgotten that I was sitting less than two feet from them.

“SO much hair!” my hairdresser’s friend said.

This is when I felt the urge to be snarky and be all, “SO much blonde!” because she happened to have a head full of (fake) blond hair. I didn’t though. I bit my tongue.

My hair took about three hours to do. But I didn’t mind. I was able to read my book in peace ( The Lady in the Tower about Anne Boleyn) and sip on an iced tea from Chick-Fil-A without having to share with my daughter.

After the hair appointment, Amanda and I went to get our makeup done. Neither of us knows what we’re doing with makeup. I nearly took my eye out with mascara before and have been slightly traumatized by it.

“How do you want your makeup?” the lady chirped at us.

“Natural. Please don’t make us look like tarts,” I explained.

We wanted to be made up for the Girls Night In we were having over at Amanda’s house.

So our makeup was put on. We did not look like tarts.

Then I returned home and wasn’t sure how the house would look. Things could be flying through the air. Food could be smeared on the walls. I placed my hand on the knob, turned it and....

....the house was clean?

The children were still alive.

“I cleaned!” Tom said proudly. “I don’t know why you say it’s so hard to stay at home. It was easy for me.”

Yes, it took all of my strength not to smack him on the side of my head with my purse. Of course the children are good for him! He’s big and scary and loves Chuck Norris.

“I like your hair,” Tom continued. “Wanna go upstairs and christen it?” He came over and pulled me close.

“Sure, but just so you know it’s my time of the month.”

He dropped me like I was on fire. He won’t touch me during that time.

Sometimes I’ve been known to lie and say that it’s my time of month if I’m not in the mood. It’s probably why he believes that some women can have periods for two weeks.

Later that night, I got dressed to go to Amanda’s house.

I tried to take a photo myself because Tom can't take a decent photo of me to save his life.





Apparently I can't get a good photo either. But you get the idea.

Then I went to Amanda’s house where we played Wii Dance.

I learned that I still CANNOT dance.

Seriously.

I looked as though I was having a convulsion as I tried to copy the moves. At one point I nearly hit myself in the head with the Wii Remote. I’ll probably give myself a concussion one day and when I’m wheeled into the ER I’ll be all, “All I was doing was trying to copy some dance moves!”

Hi, I’m Amber and I can’t dance.

61 comments:

  1. i once got my makeup done at a MAC counter and left looking like a French whore. Don't know what about it made me look 'French' vs. an 'American whore', but let's just go with it.

    you look beautiful--my husband can't take a decent pic of me either.

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  2. I am always a little afraid to get my makeup done by someone else since I hardly wear any on a regular basis, even if I put on lipstick I'm feeling like I'm ready to work a corner. PS... I also could cause serious bodily harm while dancing. It's frightening

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  3. haha I ALWAYS get the "so much hair" thing too! But I have short hair! I'm like, come on, you've had to have seen someone else with more hair than me!

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  4. Love the hair! One day I will make an appt for myself to get mine done. One day....*sigh*

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  5. Sounds like you dance like me! BTW, your hair looks great and your make up is nice and natural, no tartiness. Since it was "so easy" for hubby, maybe you should have him do it more often and I'll bet he won't rub it in any more!

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  6. My friend got her makeup done at a counter for a pre-wedding trial, and seriously, she ended up looking like Pamela Anderson mated with a drag queen. NOT attractive. We just had to tell her she looked great.

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  7. Sometimes I’ve been known to lie and say that it’s my time of month if I’m not in the mood. It’s probably why he believes that some women can have periods for two weeks....hahaha, great, crazy!!!!

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  8. Maybe the inability to dance has something to do with the name amber...as I can't dance to save my soul.

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  9. I love that dance game but I can't dance either. I am pretty sure I look like a fish out of water having a seizure. But have have not hit my head, poked my eye but not hit my head.

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  10. I think the picture looks great!! Fabulous hair and the make-up is really natural.

    I can't believe you didn't hit Tom. I totally would've. You should have said "Then you won't mind making this a regular thing, right?"

    ♥Spot

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  11. Your hair looks great! I have short hair but get the business about having so much all the time. Last time I got it cut my stylist was complaining because she had to shave my neck three times. She swore my hair was growing as I sat there. :P

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  12. You look beautiful! I hope that you had fun during your girls night!!!! I would've smacked him too with the "I don't know why you have such a hard time" comment!! My DH says that ALL the time! lol . . .MEN!

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  13. You look great!! I'm with ya...my hubby won't touch me then AND I can't dance!

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  14. Love that hair...beautiful..and yes the makeup looked natural not at all tart-like...hope you had a good time and thank goodness you did not give yourself a concussion..this time!

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  15. I have an irrational fear of going to the hair salon. I'm terrified of having my hair butchered, which has happened, numerous times. Plus, I hate attention, and I hate all the attention I get when they discover that my hair is NATURALLY blond, and no, there's nothing wrong with me, I DO want to cut it, and yes, I understand, people pay GOOD money for hair my color, and yes, I know how soft and fine it is and healthy and...

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  16. You look beautiful :) Gorgeous hair!! And I actually have been known to have my period for 2 weeks. It usually lasts a little over a week, but when it really wants to be a bitch... anyway, I only have it every 2 months now because of it. Thanks birth control!

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  17. You don't look like a tart at all. And can you tell your hair it's nice? I don't think I'm supposed to say it directly to you. That would be uncouth.

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  18. very pretty...

    though i'm still laughing over the line "this is why he thinks some women have their period for 2 weeks...!"... poor, poor guys!

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  19. You look gorgeous! Hair and make up and you're ready for your close up! I kind of like the "tart" look myself, but that's just me! Your hair is amazing! I have thick hair too but it grows straight up kind of like a troll doll so I keep it short! (And bleached platinum- I don't sound cute, but I am! LOL!

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  20. Haha!! I use the excuse "It's my time of the month" too sometimes! LOL

    LOVE your hair!

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  21. Your hair is SO pretty. I used to have hair that long, but decided to donate it. It's currently ABOVE my chin. Driving me nuts, but I'm trying to see how long I can keep it this way. But seeing your pretty hair makes me want mine back...

    Maybe you should have "me time" every week so Tom can take his turn cleaning! ;)

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  22. Sounds like a fun day and you look gorgeous!

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  23. I always get the same thing, so much hair, blah blah blah. It's kind of annoying, I mean, THE SAME PERSON does my hair everytime, and she knows how long my hair is. And that she always trims & never cuts it. But, I love your hair, looks awesome! =]

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  24. I get that all the time, too. "Wow, so much hair!" Yeah, I know, if you could thin it out a little that would be great.

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  25. I am pretty much a make-up whore. I pride myself on finding make up that suites me. Its pretty much an obsession.
    (hi Im brittany and I am make-up-holic!)

    You look BEAUTIFUL.

    I can't dance either... I think I can when I have one two many.. but in all actuality to the outside world I look like i'm having seizure!

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  26. I really like your make-up and hair!! it looks great! and my husband will not lay a finger on me when I'm on my period... haha I'm so glad i'm not the only one!

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  27. You look great! I have no clue what I am doing with my hair or make-up.

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  28. Your make up looks super natural and lovely...and I too HATE sharing my iced tea from Chick-fil-a. What a treat to have some time to yourself.

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  29. Love the hair and make up! Congrats on a few child-less hours. They are always the best!

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  30. You look fabulous!

    I love the childfree time when I get my hair cut.

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  31. love it and the color too! Glad you had a great girls night.

    I went out with all my girl friends on Sat. too. We went and Sushi for the first time....blaaaahhhhccckkkkkkyyyyyy.

    and that all I have to say about that!

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  32. Sooo jealous of your haircut. I need one so bad and it's been since, like Christmas. Ugh. It looks great and so does your make-up. Where did you go?

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  33. Amber, you're too funny!! You look great & hope you had fun at Girls Night In!

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  34. Hello Amber I can't dance, it's nice to meet you.

    Hi, I'm Pooba and I can't sing.

    Hi, I'm Pooba and I have thing stragley hair. Jealous.

    Love the outcome of your beautifing!

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  35. Love the hair and make-up! You look beautiful!

    I can't dance or sing. :D

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  36. Is it something that is missing in the "husband DNA?" Mine can't take a decent picute of me either. So I always settle with the lame "extended arm, try to get my head in the frame" self-portraits.

    You look smokin btw :)

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  37. You looked gorgoues girl! :) Love your frames by the way!

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  38. Awwwwwwwww you look great - those aren't bad pictures.

    I am soooooooooooooooooooo behind!

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  39. You look gorgeous! I've faked time of the months too. Good thing they didn't pay atttention during biology.

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  40. It looks awesome!

    I have obnoxiously thick hair, too...and it is a pain!

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  41. Girl, you make me smile. Love the color! Is that from the hairdresser or did they just cut it? Either way, verrrry pretty. And I always hear about how "healthy" my hair is. "What's your secret?!? It's so soft and healthy. It's so HEALTHY!" My secret? I don't wash it very often because I hate to dry it and that would require me actually getting myself completely wet really, really often which I am not a fan of (a wet towel with soap works wonders!). I also don't style it, so there isn't any product to destroy it. So, basically, I usually have oily, dirty hair in a nondescript ponytail or hair clip which then results in really "healthy" hair. Whoopdeedoo.

    Poor Tom. Poor, poor Tom...

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  42. So what if you can't dance? You look mah-velous, Dahling, as Fernando would say. And you have a good friend to have a night "In" with, and Tom cleaned, for God's sake! Life is beautiful!

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  43. Your hair and make-up look great! Sounds like a great day and fun night out. Any day where a husband cleans is a good day!!!

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  44. You look so pretty! My husband thinks that my periods last about 12 days. Yes, he's a pharmacist and should know better.

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  45. Dang...hair and makeup look pretty dog'gone good to me!

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  46. Your hair and makeup turned out great! I wish I had thicker hair like that.

    My fiance had the same comment as Tom about how easy it is to stay at home. After I literally cleaned our kitchen for hours, Chris pitched in by making dinner. Yes, he boiled some tortelloni. As soon as dinner was done, he told me I could do the dishes! Well, thank you, Honey. Men...

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  47. You look great, not like a tart at all.
    You take a grat pic too don't worry!

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  48. Bonjour Amber,

    My confessions: I have super thick hair too and have heard these complaints from hairdressers all my life.

    Have used "that time of the month" excuse many times.

    Almost felt physically abusive towards my husband to comments: how hard can it be to take care of children and keep the house clean!

    Your pictures look great and hope you have the chance to do it more often!

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  49. Your hair looks so cute! Please tell me you enjoyed a PIP without the kids around?!?!

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  50. You look mah-velous!!! I hate when hairdressers get into a conversation about your hair without actually acknowledging you. I once sat in a stylist's chair while she chatted with another stylist about how she should do my hair...what color to highlight, what style would look best. I was like, "Uh...hello? Why not ask the customer, you dimwit?"

    I totally loved the fact that you lie to your hubby about that time of the month. I've done that too...until I admitted to my husband that I haven't had a period for over 6 months now. Wasn't that pretty stupid of me??

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  51. Your hair looks awesome! Sounds like you had a great day/night. And as for that TOM thing... my husband keeps track, so there's no foolin' him.

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  52. LOL on the makeup thing and the dance thing - no worries, I still can't dance either - HA! At least you tried - I don't think I would dare do that. However, I LOVE your hair - it's so pretty and you look beautiful! Regarding the "time of the month" issue - I haven't had one of those in over 15years so unfortunately, I don't have that excuse! HA! P.S. thanks so much for your kind words on my home and the decor yesterday. :o)

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  53. Adorable post as always!!

    You look fantastic!!! Love the hair and makeup!

    I think I would have killed my Tom if he said that to me!!!!!! I think he knows better though! HE CLEANED FOR YOU THOUGH!!! That does deserve bonus points!

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  54. You look wonderful! I spend most of my hair appointments trying to explain that, yes my natural hair is all curly and looks like an angel, but I'm 32, the angel look is a bit 30 years ago!! Glad you made the most of no kid time. How does the hair look once Natalie has climbed on it?!

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  55. You're nuts. :)) I loved this...reminded me of that first post of yours I read, letters to your husband.....I might go and hunt for it and read it again. Damn that was funny....:)

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  56. Ha! The photo :)) Hilarious...I did a photo like that a few weeks ago when we went and stayed at the Hyatt. In a sad/funny kinda way, it was the best picture I'd seen of myself for ages...

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  57. You look beautiful!! I cant dance either...well not unless my hubs is dancing with me but thats just country dancing

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  58. Oh my goodness, you look gorgeous girlie! I have no hair and get the exact comments from hairdressers every time.

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  59. You are beautiful no matter what color your hair is...

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  60. Sounds like you had a fun night out with the girls. Your make up looks so nice, and natural, too.

    You hair is beautiful. I only wish I had hair so thick!

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