Friday, March 5, 2010

Things That Make Me Go Huh

Things That Make Me Go “HUH?”

A lot of things in this world baffle me.

I decided to show some of these things.





This is a dress. Inspired by lingerie. I’m sorry, but no. I can see one of those Real Housewives of OC strutting around in this though.




These are cookies I tried to make. I followed the instructions and this is how they came out. Oh well. I still ate them anyway. You can’t waste cookies even if they do look like a gigantic blob.




Tom claims the cat likes when you scratch his cheeks. Judging by his expression (the same one I get when Tom talks during Lost) I’m sort of doubting this.




Why is Steve from Blue’s Clues singing about dirt on Nick Jr? I thought he was dead. Apparently he’s alive and happy and singing about the ground. Oh, and wearing fake ears. Is it wrong that I was sort of turned on? Time has aged Steve well.




These are the papers I had to fill out for my annual girly appointment today. Holy crap is it nosy. Suppose I did have sex before the age of 16? Would they beat me with a speculum? What if I have had more than 5 sexual partners? Would I be dubbed as easy? Or would a pamphlet of not giving my love freely be discreetly slipped to me?




This proves how awful I am in math. I didn’t get it at first. I had to read it like five times before my brain clicked on. I mean, this is SECOND GRADE work. In second grade I remember making pictures out of glitter. Not problems like these. (And does anyone ever want to be snarky during word problems? Like when it says, “How many kids came to Taylor’s party?” I always want to say something like, “Don’t really care, am just interested in what kind of cake she had.”)




Tommy was messing with Natalie’s Barbie in the bath the other night. When he got out I found her like this. Should I tell him now that real woman are not this flexible? Sorry to disappoint, son.

62 comments:

  1. I don't get the dress/lingerie either.

    And I have met girls who are that flexible! SERIOUSLY. Some of my little girls I coached in cheerleading were like gumby.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The dress still looks too lingerie-ish, tamara would probably wear it tho, My cookies come out like that too sometimes I think its wear I put it in the oven ya know too high that it does that, that doll is too funny!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am impressed that you actually baked the cookies rather than just eating the dough with a spoon like I would do.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I really don't understand lingerie influenced clothing. Is it supposed to be a way to show a little skank without going all the way and being totally skanky?? Totally not my thing.

    On the word problem, my answer would have to be something along the lines of "Well, that really depends on how Taylor treats people, doesn't it? If Taylor is pleasant to be around and is nice to her friends, the answer is probably many. If not, the answer is few, and Taylor deserves it, and hopefully Taylor learns a lesson about being a little snot." BUT, I can be a little snarky.

    The doll is very, very funny. Poor Tommy is probably gonna experience some disappointments in life. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. That dress is horrible! It looks like lingerie, so it would just look like you're wearing your lingerie outside!! Lmao off @ Barbie, you might want to tell him!

    ReplyDelete
  6. 1. That dress reminds of me of an episode of Friends where Rachel is in real lingerie and tries to pass it off as a dress. Very awkward.
    2. I'm curious as to what recipe you're using to get cookies that look like that.
    3. I'm pretty sure cats don't like anything, right?
    4. I thought Steve committed suicide or something? Am I wrong?
    5. Did that questionnaire ask you if you have a safe in your house? I've never had to fill something out like this, which makes me question the competency of my Dr. Or wonder if yours is planning on robbing you.
    6. Word problems suck. That is all.
    7. This just makes me hate Barbie. And cheerleaders.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AHAHAHAHA! The barbie pic is the best! Tell him the only women that are that flexible are gymnists and yoginis : )

    ReplyDelete
  8. I don't like the dress at all.

    And tell Tommy that GUYS aren't that flexible - he'll appreciate knowing that I'm sure.

    :) I would still sample one of your cookies - I bet it still tasted good.

    I love math word problems. I guess I have a horrible form of brain disease. :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. I would still eat those cookies.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The cat is hilarious. Mine makes the same face when we scratch his cheeks, though I've never been lucky enough to capture it on camera. I'm gonna have to try to now.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I had heard that Steve was dead too! I googled it (b/c that's what you do whenever you have a question right?) and found out he was pursuing a music career that didn't take off! Crazy!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I had heard that Steve was dead too! I googled it (b/c that's what you do whenever you have a question right?) and found out he was pursuing a music career that didn't take off! Crazy!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I always wind up feeling like a whore after filling out those surveys! :) lmao

    As for the dress... I think Barbie would look spectacular in that little number.. as for the rest of us?

    notsomuch! :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm anticipating a serious panic attack the first time I have to help my daughter with story problems...

    And that cat? Looks like he's thinking of a million different ways he could hurt you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I hate those questionnaires at the OB/GYN. Then the Doctor follows up by actually asking how many partners you've had. You should see the look on their faces when I ask if I can get back to them on that.

    I don't get the dress/underwear thing either. I suppose you could buy it and just wear it in the bedroom.

    I'd have eaten those cookies too. Tell everyone they're a new break apart kind.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I would have eaten the cookies, too.

    I had my fabulous girly bits appt yesterday, too. No fun questions like that, though.

    I think Barbie was just getting extra flexible for her girly bits appointment.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I would have eaten the cookies, too.

    I had my fabulous girly bits appt yesterday, too. No fun questions like that, though.

    I think Barbie was just getting extra flexible for her girly bits appointment.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh, I love that cat. It looks just like my Bumper (sigh) who passed away last year. :-)
    Love the title of your blog.
    Mary

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hey, I do that Barbie pose every evening, and that's just my warm up. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    ReplyDelete
  20. What? That's not how cookies are supposed to turn out?
    Well, just don't tell my kids.

    ReplyDelete
  21. We saw that video on Nick Jr. too!! Brad actually called me in from another room to see it. Oh Steve, what has become of you. So much for leaving children's programming. Now you sing songs about groundhogs!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I've always thought Steve was a Hottie. I nearly cried when they took him off Blues Clues.

    ♥Spot

    ReplyDelete
  23. ahahaha... Tommy better find a gymnast

    And OH MY GOD - I'm seeing my gyno soon. It better not be such a long nosy process.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I'm sure my hubby would love that dress, but I surely don't think it's a dress.

    I was asked by an OB nurse yesterday if I felt safe in my home and with my husband. I'm guessing most people who would want to answer no wouldn't feel safe enough to do so.

    Are those funfetti cake cookies? I've never had mine turn out like that. You should make a ball, then smoosh them with a glass.

    ReplyDelete
  25. yea.. i don't think the cat likes it either...

    have a lovely wkend!!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hey a cookie is a cookie no matter how it looks. I bet yours tasted great!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Lough out loud. First, I made cookies that looked like that too and they were eaten swiftly. No, I don't think the cat likes that. OB/Gyns are way too nosey. My hubby is a physician and he does not even get to know all that. And yes, Barbie is easy. That is why she never wears panites.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Oh my! What a..umm...dress?!?

    And I'd totally eat those/that cookie(s)-who cares what they look like as long as they taste yummy! :)

    ReplyDelete
  29. You really should prepare Tommy now that we are not that Bendy. Happy Friday!

    ReplyDelete
  30. That model wearing that "dress" is victim of a photoshop disaster. Does she realize they photoshopped her entire right hip off??

    ReplyDelete
  31. okay, i lost track after the cookies. I want cookies now.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I wondered why she had a purse with her nighty????

    As long as the cookies taste good who cares..

    Speculums suck

    ReplyDelete
  33. Steve did not commit suicide or die or anything like that, he went away to college, or at least that is what Joe told us. I had read an entire article about how Steve wanted to move on and attempt some real acting. I guess it didn't work out. PS steve has always turned me on just a little. I think it was his politness

    ReplyDelete
  34. Steve did not commit suicide or die or anything like that, he went away to college, or at least that is what Joe told us. I had read an entire article about how Steve wanted to move on and attempt some real acting. I guess it didn't work out. PS steve has always turned me on just a little. I think it was his politness

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm convinced that my kids should have doctorates by now. Some of their homework is WAY over my head. My freshman brought home work that I did in college algebra-no lie, just last week.

    I would have eaten the cookies.

    ReplyDelete
  36. You don't wear clothing that lookse like lingerie?! It's all the rage! Of course, until I feel comfortable enough with my stretchmark and celulite clad body, I won't be caught dead in anything even remotely close to resembling that...thank you very much!
    And come on! Your cat looks like he/she LOVES it!
    What's wrong with the cookies? Aren't they supposed to look like that?!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Mmmmmm, Steve...
    Uh, I mean, mmmmmmm, cookies!

    ReplyDelete
  38. Hahahaha! Whenever I see dresses like that, I wonder how they wear underwear. Then remember that they probably don't. Maths questions always confuse me and make me snarky. That's how the smart people deal with them. ;P

    ReplyDelete
  39. I did not think cats could make that face. Doesn't surprise me though.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Unfortunately, I have to take an abacus in with me when filling out those girly doc papers. ;)

    That's what my husband does with the girls' barbies. Is that not normal, or something???

    ReplyDelete
  41. OMG!!!!! That picture of Barbie is CLASSIC!!!! I cannot stop laughing...I snorted so hard that a little bit of snot came flying out of my nose.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Even at my most flexible, when I was dancing and cheering and doing gymnastics, I couldn't do that. Ouch...

    ReplyDelete
  43. Are those sprinkles in the cookies? Feel free to send them to Texas!

    ReplyDelete
  44. The dress: Evan said in the mall tonight as we walked by an underwear store, his eyes all a-goggle, "They shouldn't put pictures up like that! What are they thinking? Don't they know that little BOYS will walk by and STARE at them?!?" So young, yet so wise.

    The cookies: You are smart to make just one BIG cookie. Less sharing that way.

    Steve! What the hell??? He went to COLLEGE about 8 years ago on Blue's Clues and THIS is what his degree got for him? Screw education.

    That is a really nosy girly form. I would almost feel tempted to answer it honestly with the before 16 and more than 5 partners. I mean, they haven't been RECENTLY so why do they care?!? Also, admitting shit like that can get you in trouble with insurance companies. Big Brother, man.

    I AM that flexible but don't look nearly as good as Barbie does with my legs at my ears. Thankfully, I'm only in that position when it's dark... heh heh. :)

    ReplyDelete
  45. Wasn't there that giant rumour that the Blues Clues guy died of a heroin overdose?! Or committed suicide?

    Bad.

    Anyway, best show I've discovered for 2 + year olds other than Dora (who I hate) is Super Why. Love, love, love it.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I found your blog through Mom.dot's list. So glad I did. I hate the Dr. office paper work it's rediculous I am so tempted to steal the forms put them on my computer fill them out back them up on a memory card and take it with me every time I go to the Dr and say I'm not filling out your stupid 37 pages of forms that have the same questions on every page. Really? You just took out an entire forest!!

    ReplyDelete
  47. So apparently Steve flunked out of college. Don't tell your son, just give him a shoulder to cry on when he finds out that women aren't Barbies. My OB/GYN makes you do this like 18 page thing online every year. You have to answer the same questions every year, same kind as yours...guess they're trying to catch me in a lie, but heck my memory is going, I'm not lying on purpose!

    ReplyDelete
  48. LOL!! Tons of good stuff here. Thank you for the giggles!!!

    ReplyDelete
  49. This is so great you could make it a regular feature so we'd all have a place to put our WTH moments!

    You OB/gyn is nosy dog and that poor Barbie ;-)

    Hope your weekend is great!

    jj

    ReplyDelete
  50. At my last gyne appt. they told me to arrive 1/2 early to fill out the paperwork. THEY WEREN'T KIDDING!! I had to write the story of my life! Although they didn't ask how many sexual partners I had. Maybe they figured I was too old. snort.

    That Barbie needs to be bitch-slapped. I'm just saying.

    Cookies are good no matter what shape they're in. Cooked or not, too!

    ReplyDelete
  51. You know why Barbie is lying that way?
    She was wearing that slip/dress/nightgown thingy... and it screams
    "put my ankles by my ears and throw me on my face!" ... and that's why I won't wear that kind of dress-ish thing. Well, that and I don't have a body even remotely like Barbie's, except for maybe her top part, ok, the cup size only, nothing else.

    ReplyDelete
  52. That dress is ugly.

    Cookies are good no matter what they look like.

    That Steve picture is scaring me.

    I just got a reminder about my own girly appt. Yuck.

    And Barbie...I'm just speechless.

    ReplyDelete
  53. That cookie glob looks delicious.

    I say job well done.

    ReplyDelete
  54. My cookies almost always turn out the same way! Give me any other food and I can cook just about anything but something as simple as a cookie and NO!

    ReplyDelete
  55. ok so i ahve read one of your post and i love you already! you are so funny! and thanks for the info about the blues clues dude ... i thought he was dead too lol

    ReplyDelete
  56. There's no such thing as an unedible cookie. I would've eaten them, too.

    Stopping by from SITS and hoping you'll do the same :)

    ReplyDelete
  57. I totally agree wit ay ALL cookies are edible! I seem to screw them up pretty oftn too!

    Stpping by from SITS I am now a follower and stealing yourbutton for my blogroll!

    ReplyDelete
  58. OMG LOL at Barbie. So true that no one is that flexible. And our cat winds up with the same kind of face whenever we pet him.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Yikes to that dress. I can totally see some of these hoochie chicks wearing that to the club.

    I have no words for those cookies. It's as if you made two giant ones. Did they taste ok at least?

    Cats freak me out. They're too unpredictable, but from the looks of this one, I'm thinking you should back off...slowly.

    And you should know better than talking during Lost!!

    ReplyDelete
  60. This is so damned funny. My husband called me from Georgia and I told him I had to get off the phone because someone was at the door. I lied. I just wanted to finish reading this! LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Steve's picture with the ears is just downright creepy. And to be honest, if I were to venture out in the dress/lingerie you've posted above, I'm pretty sure it would have the opposite of the intended effect on anyone who happened to be unfortunate enough to see me in such a get-up. There are certain looks I just can't rock. I know this about myself, and have pretty much made peace with it.

    ReplyDelete
  62. You're so right--cookies should NEVER be wasted. Ever.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment!

Share This

 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...