Thursday, March 11, 2010

What Ghost?

I was already frazzled.

I had thought this was a gigantic spider and had screamed at the top of my lungs.

I mean, okay, up close you can tell it’s definitely not a spider. But when you spot it from the corner of your eye it looks quite sinister. I was positive it was a huge spider, all set to jump up and suck my insides out.

I probably shouldn’t have watched Arachnophobia as a child.

I eventually calmed down and realized it was plastic but my nerves were still shaken.

Then Natalie had to go and point to the corner of the room and say, “I see a ghost.”

The hair on the back of my neck immediately stood up.

“What?” I asked, trying not to panic. I forced myself to glance at the corner where she was pointing even though I didn’t want to. It’s sort of like how I feel about the Twilight movies: I know they’re going to be utterly ridiculous but I can’t NOT watch. I have to see what Edward is blah blah blahing about and mock the grown adults who screech when Taylor Lautner comes on the screen.

I saw nothing in the corner. I relaxed. I mean, what did I expect to see? A ghost head with glowing red eyes? I shuddered at that. I was starting to freak myself out again. I tried to think about happy things: Happy Bunny, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, Target....

“I see a ghost. Hi ghost!” Natalie’s voice broke into my happy thoughts.


“There is no ghost.” I said this firmly. There couldn’t be a ghost. Not that night. Not when Tom was at work and wouldn’t return home until the morning.

“Bye ghost,” Natalie said, waving. She went back to coloring. How could she be so calm? If she really saw a ghost, why wasn’t she going, “WTF, why can I see through you?”

Clearly she didn’t really see a ghost then. She probably was just messing with me. She seems the type that would do something like that.

When I put Natalie to bed she suddenly laughed and went, “Ghost says hi.”

Okay. That was it. I was officially FREAKED OUT. I ran from the room and grabbed the phone.

Then I dialed Tom’s number.

When he answered I went, “I think there’s a ghost in the house.”


“Natalie keeps saying she sees a ghost and I’m not going to lie, I’m scared out of my mind and am tempted to dive underneath the covers,” I explained.

“Can you ever just say hi normally?”

“Hi. We have a GHOST in the house, Tom!” Why wasn’t he reacting to this?

“What do you want me to do about it?” Tom was unmoved. I could hear typing in the background. Was he on the COMPUTER while I was freaking out? And okay, it was probably because I call him at least twice a month flipping out. The last time I called I was positive that aliens were communicating outside our door. It turns out it was just cows mooing in the distance but still, when cows mooing are muffled, it can sound like an entirely different alien language.

“Could they let you off early?” I wondered.

Tom laughed. “Yeah right. And what would I say? Sorry sir, I have to leave early, my wife thinks there’s a ghost in the house.”

“YES!” That made perfect sense to me.

“Just sleep with the lights on,” Tom suggested.

“I can’t. You know I can’t sleep with any lights on,” I said. This is true. Even if I’m afraid I cannot sleep with lights on.

“I don’t know what else to tell you.” Clickity Clickity Click went Tom’s keyboard that I wanted to smack over his head. Why wasn’t he more concerned? Didn’t he remember what happened in Paranormal Activity? There could be a DEMON GHOST lurking around our home and he’s just typing away.

“Thanks a lot, Tom,” I fumed.

“Sorry,” Tom replied but he didn’t sound sorry at all.

“You’re just so mean! You’re hot and you’re cold, you’re yes and you’re no, you’re—” I began passionately.

“Why are you quoting a Katy Perry song to me?”

Oh. I was wondering how the words were flowing so easily. Weird things pop into my head when I’m frightened.

I hung up with Tom soon after that. It was obvious he wasn’t going to do a thing.

When I got into bed that night I said out loud, “If there is a ghost in here and you show yourself to me, I will scream.”

The ghost believed me because I never saw a thing.

I guess it had witnessed me screeching over the fake spider earlier and knew that I was telling the truth.


  1. Arachnophobia is the scariest movie in the whole wide world. EVER.

  2. wow seriously this is hilarious. If I wouldn't do the same thing I would think your a bit off the rocker ha ha.

    I know Jeremy would say the same thing "What would you like me to do from here?" As I would scream on the phone.

  3. So NOT trying to freak you out, but it has been said small children see things adults can't. And I'll leave you with that.

    I can't believe you watched Paranormal Activity...brave, very brave Amber. (Hugs)Indigo

  4. This cracked me up! I'm also impressed you were brave enough to use the phone because I totally would have been under the covers.

  5. ROTFLOL I was going to say the same thing that Indigo did but you probably don't want confirmation on that sort of thing. :-) I don't believe in ghosts though.

    Blessings, C

  6. Do you think maybe Natalie has a new invisible friend? Or do they call it imaginary friend? I forget which is the appropriate term, and if that is the case, it is perfectly normal!

  7. YOU HAVE A GHOST IN YOUR HOUSE!!! Awesome! I'm sooo jealous! I want a ghost so I can reason with it like, "Hey bud, you get free rent so can you help out with the dishes?"

    On a serious note: I used to not believe in them until I worked at this fancy daycare that everyone said was haunted. The kids would walk up to ask asking "Teacher Holly, why won't that kid play with me?" and when we would look to where they were pointed, there was no one there. THEN, I had a little experience myself and now I'm a total believer. They say kids can see more than adults can. Crazy huh?

  8. *giggle* I do believe that kids see things that adults don't!! However, I have seen a was freaky!! My brother saw it too. We only saw him once and then he was gone, but I'm a believer. I wouldn't mind having a ghost, FRIENDLY ghost that is. It'd be

  9. I'm a believer, I have seen several in my life time. Just talk to the ghost and tell them you are friendly but its time to go or ask them to leave you alone. Good luck at least a spider you can kill.

  10. I am glad that the ghost believed you! I hate when I am freaking out so much that I call my hubby at work and nothing....zilch. WTF is that all about?

  11. I'm going to try and be as practical as I can be here given we are talking ghosts but, how old is the house? I assume you are in base housing and I would guess it's been mostly young people living there. I wouldn't worry about a ghost unless you know someone died there. If you do? I'd totally freak out.

  12. Please write a book....this was fantastic....

  13. If Natalie does have a new imaginary friend then sure that's ok. As long as she hasn't named him Casper.



  14. We lived in a haunted house once. I wrote about it back in October. It pretty much left us alone as long as we left it alone. In other words, don't taunt it.

    Paranormal Activity was the worst movie ever. Who the H taunts a demon??! Stupid people, that's who. And even though I hated it and laughed during it...sometimes when I'm alone in the middle of the night, I remember those footprints in the flour and freak out. Lol!


  15. I remember my daughter sitting in our living room one night and she pointed to her bedroom and told me there was a boy in her room. Then, she was all of the sudden afraid to go in her room anytime the lights were off bc the boy was mean. This lasted for a pretty long really freaked me out! MY hubs wasn't all too concerned until he was home one night and she did it. I'm just glad we don't live there anymore!

  16. Poppin' in from SITS, I was rolling after I read this post, you're hilarious!

  17. My ex husband used to have to come home from work to kill spiders because I couldn't go in the room with one or take my eyes off of it. (Maybe that was part of why he's my EX husband!) Ghosts are something else all together. Just be careful out there!

  18. hmm I'm going to guess that you won't enjoy me also agreeing that they say kids can see things that adults can't. Something about them being more receptive and open to them.

    I am a believer and grew up in a house with a ghost. I kind of miss haivng sharing a place with one. :) Yes I am weird.

    Oh and I SSSOOOOOOOOO want to come back and be a ghost after I am gone :)

  19. You need to Google up an on-line source of Chostbuster weapons!

    The Dematerializer: The Ghostbusters' main weapon, it shoots a beam that banishes ghosts to limbo, but does not always work, it doesn't work on vampires like Count Dracula himself or on a "voodoo monster"). Unfortunately, It tends to get broken.

    Ghost Gummer: Shoots a gob of a sticky pink substance to immobilize enemies.

    Spectre Snare: Shoots a coiled rope to trap a ghost.

    Bubble Blaster: Fires off a stream of soaplike bubbles that combine to form one large bubble to entrap a ghost.

    Dematerializer Net: An energized net that is stretched across the Ghost Buggy that causes ghosts to be banished to limbo as soon as they touch it.

    Fright Freezer: A weapon mounted to the side of the Ghostbuggy that can freeze ghosts instantly.

    Micro Dematerializer: All the goodness of the regular-sized Dematerializer, packed into a flashlight-sized "phaser" type weapon.

    Ecto-Strobe: A device that, when flashed intermittently, could detect recent ghost and supernatural activity. It could also be used to temporarily stun or blind ghosts.

  20. Hey that did look a spider! Seriously I would have been running around like a LOCA ... saying OMG OMG I got to kill it!

    Ghost.... ooooo scary.... My son who is 15 now when he was 2 1/2... he would talk to a ghost friend who's name was HINGA ... what the heck.... he said he met him at my parents neighbors house and I freaked out! My neighbor the weird one with all the candles and stuff.. yep that's the one...

    After we moved from our studio apartment HINGA went away.... thank goodness!


  21. I'm torn between being really freaked out for you and LMAO. I think Natalie was just trying to get you though. She's one smart cookie.

  22. Spiders FREAK ME OUT. I have to use a paper towel attached to the bottom of my Swiffer broom to kill them.
    My husband never had a sister and he just doesn't understand why my daughter and I scream at bugs.

  23. LOL! Too funny. :) Thanks for another much needed laugh! <3

    Check your E-mail...there's a surprise waiting for you! :)

  24. It's a wonder our hubbys stay with us at times! I had a friend so scared of spiders I had to walk over to her apt once so I could kill the spider! I grew up near woods so not much scares me...unless it's a ghost! Yikes!

  25. This comment has been removed by the author.

  26. I am now singing.

    You're hot and you're cold. You're yes and you're no. You're in and you're out. You're up and you're down. You're wrong when it's right. You're black when it's white...

    Did I get that right? Who knows, but it is running on repeat in my head now.

    Maybe Natalie is one of those "sensitive" kids and she sees things we don't. I'd be totally creeped out too.

  27. I dunno. . . they say that kids are more 'in tune' to this kind of thing. Why would she just see a ghost outta the blue like that? Its kind of creepy. . .

    But Tom couldn't have done anything about it, anyway. What you should have done is call your local church for an exorcist.

    Wait. Do they still DO stuff like that?!! Well, hopefully this is the last we hear of Nat's ghostie friend and we never need to find out!

  28. As if turning a light on would DO anything. Everyone KNOWS ghosts are not afraid of the light. Yes, the prefer to work in the dark, but they will persevere in light if they must. let me talk to Tom. I'll show him.

  29. This is why I don't watch scary movies! I would totally freak myself out and I don't have a Tom that I can call to save me. Just me and Son.

  30. Atleast it didn't turn on a toy that only makes sounds when the key is turned. This is what happened to JD's gf's baby last week. .

    The ghost(s) at my house usually only visit to tell me to lock my doors or something like that. They are really good ghosts at my place.

  31. This is HILARIOUS! I think I piddled a bit on myself!! Lmao...I have a similar story about seeing things wrong! Except mine was a potato chip instead of a sand kinda had to be there! Lol...

    I would have been so pissed at my hubby! I don't f*ck around with no ghost!!

  32. HAHA this was so hilarious! you crack me up with every post! haha, i love that katy perry part! and if i ever saw a ghost (or a real spider that big!) I would DIE!

  33. Lmao...that is just hilarious! (The spider thing kinda freaked me out too before I opened the post...It really does look like a spider in the small dashboard pic & I wasn't going to open it because I didn't want to see no freaky spiders!! But, of course I just had to see what it was all about!)

  34. Amber,
    Everytime you post, I know it's going to be one of the most ridiculous things I'll read all day. (And I work with staffing young adults, so it has to be really up there.) Thank you for a great laugh to smooth out my slightly off morning :)

  35. My sister has a ghost in her house. Her son plays baseball with him and refers to him as "the guy." I'd tell you the stories about it but I wouldn't be doing them any justice. She's so much better at it. It's freaky.

  36. i love both kids and animals.. but its kids and animals that can freak me out LIKE NO OTHER...

    pp always say that kids and animals can sense something more so than we can.. yea! not cool!! i hate it when hubs will be wrking graveyard and our cat will stare SO INTENTLY at the corner of the room for like 10 minutes.. i always wonder to myself WHAT she's looking at!

  37. Hey Amber, how did you get the social networking bookmark image thingies at the bottom of your posts?!

    help a clueless girl out! LOL

  38. Maybe Natalie has an imaginary friend named "ghost". As in the friend's name is "Ghost". Either way, good luck with the situation!

  39. I watched that movie as a kid too and every once in a while I will have to open my eyes in the middle of facing my face just to make sure all is well with the bathroom sink.

    I think we have a ghost cause my dog will stare and growl and bark at air. Of course, my dog is a huge it could be that.

  40. I'm literally rolling with laughter! Tears! HAHAHAHAHA! Natalie seems like the type...hahahahahahaah! You crack me up, girl. I totally believe your daughter, though. :D

  41. At least the ghost is nice...? Yikes, I'm crossing my fingers that it's just her imaginary friend.

    Oh, and I wasn't looking at the screen while your post loaded and I almost threw my laptop across the room because I thought a centipede was sitting on it, thanks to your picture. :)

  42. I used to see ghosts when I was a kid too so if I saw one now I don't think it would scare me (guess it's the kid thing because I don't see them any more) . My son see's them too, but not my daughter, weird.

    Now that spider on the other hand would have had me running out the door for help!

  43. So I've heard that kids can see ghosts much easier than adults....but I probably shouldn't believe everything they say on Ghost Whisperer. That would have freaked me out too!

  44. I felt weird when my son told me that once he was a big cat, imagine, past life memories!

  45. What exactly would the light do for the ghost anyway? I mean its not a vampire or anything. I hope that ghost keeps on listening to ya!

  46. I really thought that was a giant spider, too, when I first glanced at the picture. And I would have buried myself under the covers with the shotgun if my son was talking to a ghost. I don't know what the shotgun would do to a ghost, but maybe it would scare it?

  47. My sister is one of those grown women who screetch when Lautner enters. Then again, she is only 21, so it might work for her.

  48. Kids can see ghosts.

    Sleep well tonight!


  49. funniest thing I've read in a while! Could not stop laughing! Spiders scare the crap out of me..

  50. Your husband's calm cool and collected manner when you are hysterical is hilarious.

    I agree with Daffy, you need to be writing a book.

    Shelly at Tropical Mum

  51. Hi, your post was really funny and totally sympathize with you as I myself am scared of a number of things.
    I already love your daughter's attitude and spunk though.

  52. When I saw that picture I thought it was a spider too! The ghost thing would freak the hell out of me!

  53. girl, my day will be better because I read this story!

  54. ROTFL!! At least your traumatic evening has entertained many others. Hope it was worth the sleepless night!

  55. You are SOOOO FUNNY!! I love how Tom doesn't even get ruffled with your antics anymore, lol! You will never be boring. EVER!

  56. That is the funniest story I have heard in a while...thank you ;)

    One time, my sister in law and I, actually did see a spider in the house that was that big, and she freaked out by putting her big toe through the wall and screamed so loud, it was the funniest thing ever!!

    Jamie :)
    p.s. hope the ghost didn't get you that night ;)

  57. I would be a little unnerved at the easy, breezy conversation Natalie was having with the ghost, too. Not that I believe in those kinds of things...

  58. Just so you know, I thought that was a big hairy spider, too, until I started reading. But the picture did make my heart go giddy-up. Seriously. So I could imagine your scream seeing it in person.

    And Natalie seeing a ghost? Oooh. Was it on any cartoon that she watched? You know, to give her the idea? No? Yikes! You'd better call Ghostbusters!

  59. A friend and I watched Arachnophobia at her house when I was in high school. It was raining, and after the movie we saw spiders all over the house! Real ones. They were coming in out of the rain. All night I felt like things were crawling on me.

  60. ha ha ha!! This cracked me up and yes that does look like a spider. A very scary BIG HUGE spider and I would have screamed too. I hope that Lauren never tells me she sees a ghost because I would freak out too and I know my husband would react just like yours!

    Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest

  61. Scarrrry! Glad you didn't see a Ghost...she was probably messing with you! Anyhoodles, Happy Saturday Sharefest! Have a great day!I am stopping by from SITS

  62. Ha! Funny!

    Shortly after we moved into our 100+ Victorian home...wait. Nevermind. You probably don't want to know!

  63. wow seriously this is hilarious. If I wouldn't do the same thing I would think your a bit off the rocker
    work at home in india

  64. A) I still think it's a spider.

    B) That's a freaking creepy Sixth Sense moment Natalie had.

    C) I'm impressed your husband recognized the Katy Perry lyrics. That's awesome.

  65. Not to scare you, but kids are able to see what we can't because they don't have all the learned negativity yet that we do as adults.....hmmmm.....

  66. They are more afraid of you than you are of them...or maybe that's spiders...

  67. OMG!!!!!!!! I just remembered that Natalie is going to be 3 in 4 days!!! Seriously!?!?!? That can't be possible...

    I'm going to go cry now cuz that means Nathan is next.. (oh there is a picture of Cathy's Jacob on OD on my blog, the one born Jan. 19th with Natalie and Nathan, I don't remember her name on OD anymore... momtoanangel04 I think?)

  68. forgot to say that we have ghosts, they drive me insane..

    Natalie does seem the type that would mess with you though!

  69. Ok so I just read he last three blog posts of yours and have been laughing my ass off the entire time. I needed this. I'm gonna stop now though bc I believe my son is starting to get freaked out. At first he was laughing with me but now he is just staring at me ....

  70. Hi. I just started following your blog, and I absolutely love it! I'm grabbing your button to share on my blog.


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