Monday, May 17, 2010

When Monkeys Attack

So fine, I don’t like waking up early.

It’s probably why I nearly bit my husband when he woke me up yesterday. We were leaving early for the Denver Zoo. Tom is big on getting on the road early so we can get to places right when they open, thus avoiding crowds. Have I mentioned that Tom hates large crowds? I thought he was going to burst into tears and shout, "Who are all these people?!" when we went to Disney World a few times.

“Did you just try to BITE me?” Tom asked incredulously after he had shaken me awake.

Had I? Oh. I hadn’t even realized that I had done that. It was just my immediate reaction, I guess.

I rolled out of bed. Sat on the end of it blinking a few times. Went, “What’s this?” when Natalie went barreling into me. Tom went, “That’s our daughter.” Right. My mind isn’t fully awake in the morning.

We stopped off at the shoppette to get gas and caffeine. When I slid out of my seat Tom looked shocked.

“Where are you going?”

“Caffeine,” I croaked. “Now.”

I shuffled inside. Nearly ran into a soldier. Then I nearly ran into a display of chips.

“Caffeine,” I said again, heading for the fountain drinks. I grabbed a cup and put it against the ice toggle. Nothing came out. Diet coke is NOTHING without ice. I’m sorry, but it’s really not.

“Ice,” I said to passing worker. “Ice please?”

“Yeah, we’ll get that in a few,” I was told.

A FEW?! Did this woman not comprehend that I needed caffeine in my system NOW?

In the end I had to get the diet coke without the ice. It wasn’t the same but at least I got my caffeine. Halfway to the zoo I was all, “I’m so excited!” and Tom went, “Oh, you’re nice now?” and I answered, “Yes, thanks to the power of caffeine!”

We got to the Denver Zoo and parked. We went with Amanda’s family, by the way. We grabbed a zoo map and started wandering around. Tommy loved the python. He was all, “Pythons can eat PIGS, Mom!”





Most of the animals were sleeping. Maybe because it was Sunday, the day of rest? So most of the animals we saw were passed out.

Some were up at least.





Weird buffalos weren’t. Natalie did not like them. At first she was all, “I yike dis thing.” Then she buried her face in Tom’s shoulder and went, “I don’t yike dis thing anymore.”

Then we saw some monkeys.

And this is where things got interesting.



Natalie was standing up against the glass (don't worry, this was allowed) and I guess her ultra adorable zoo outfit offended the monkey. He was probably all, “Why are there GIRAFFES on your shirt and not monkeys?” (By the way, Tom mocked me for even putting Natalie in a zoo outfit and I said a lot of people put kids in zoo outfits when they go to the zoo. Tom said no, I was the only weird one. So every time I passed a kid in a zoo outfit I went, “Zoo outfit. Zoo outfit. Oh, another zoo outfit.” So many kids were in Gymboree!)

Anyhow, where was I?

Oh yeah, the scary monkey.

It ran up to the glass and started pounding on it.





Natalie freaked out.

“Da monkey is MEAN. I don’t YIKE da monkey!” she yelled.

But did I come to her rescue? No, I was too busy laughing. And taking pictures. (Hey, I knew she was safe..)

I feel bad now. (I made up for the whole laughing thing by buying Natalie an ICEE. All was forgiven after that.)

Seriously though, that monkey does look scary.

Now Natalie is all, “Da monkey scared me.”



Other animals made her happy though.

So to sum up, we had a fun trip.



Tom made friends with a goose.



Tommy made friends with a peacock.



Natalie made friends with a peacock.



And we made enemies out of a group of monkeys.



Zoos rock.

62 comments:

  1. What a fun day!! Loved the pictures, including the zoo outfit, lol!!!!

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  2. Zoos do rock! The monkey's are my favorite.... And yes, Zoo outfits are totally appropriate! Unfortunately, my daughter is 15 and won't allow me to dress her anymore... :o(

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  3. Having a monkey bang on the glass would have freaked me out too - I mean how thick can that glass be?!

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  4. WOW what a great picture of that monkey trying to eat natalie's face.

    we still haven't done the zoo with G. i'm a bad parent.

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  5. That monkey was totally weird. I'm with Natalie. I don't YIKE it either.

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  6. Monkeys are scary. And I really, really need a Diet Coke now.

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  7. Zoo trips are the BEST! I wish we had a decent one. Animals like to mate when I go to the zoo. Ever seen polar bears get it on? I have. It's impressive. :)

    Glad you had a fun trip!

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  8. I HATE MONKEYS.

    EVIL DEATH MONKEYS WILL TRY TO KILL YOU.

    Oh, and when you tell someone you're not a morning person until you've had your coffee, why are they still shocked when you're not nice right after you wake up? People still do not get this about me no matter how much I explain it.

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  9. Biting upon waking, eh? I shall place that in my notes for further study....

    Loved the pictures. Icees always help-everything. Next time a monkey gets all bent out of shape about y outfit I am going to have an Icee too.

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  10. Da monkeys are scary!
    And Diet Coke with no ice...blech. I don't know if I would've been able to drink it...you're a trooper!

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  11. Holy shit! I think those monkeys would have scared me too lol!

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  12. I haven't been to a zoo in forever! Going to put that on my list of things to do and I am so going to wear a zoo outfit. I wonder how big they make Gymborees?!?! Looks like you had a really fun day!

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  13. omg I'm SO glad you got that pic of your daughter and the monkey! Wait, is that mean? She did look a little...disturbed..

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  14. I have totally put my kids in "zoo outfits" too so don't feel bad :) You are not alone my friend!

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  15. I know the monkey's supposed to be scary, but I can't help but think how cool that is that they were interacting with her like that. I am glad the glass is there, though.

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  16. Your pics are adorable! So glad a good day was had at the zoo.

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  17. Looks like you had a fun day! The monkeys scared the heck out of Emily one time too! (she was a little older than Natalie). Your kids are adorable!

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  18. mmm
    Caffeine. I need some.

    Glad you had fun at the zoo, we are hoping to go for one of the free days (i think we have to wait until October or somethin)

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  19. Looks like a fun day and you are such a mom to stand back and laugh and take pictures! LOVE IT!

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  20. what a beautiful day to go to the zoo. The kids, including Tom, looked like they had a blast.

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  21. Awww! I'm jealous! I haven't been to the zoo in forever!

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  22. Great trip, great photos! Glad you had fun, thanks to the eternally helpful miracle of caffeine!

    And I still say you have the most photogenic kids on the planet!

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  23. Monkeys are mean!

    Glad you had fun!

    Awesome pictures by the way...

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  24. That monkey picture is crazy! That would have scared the shit out of me too! I would have said "I dont yike dis either!"

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  25. Those monkies do look scary. Sounds like a fun day... except the getting out of bed part. That totally sucks and I WOULD have bitten my husband if he had done that to me. Oh wait, I bite him all the time for no apparent reason. :)

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  26. The monkeys said that Natalie scared the **** out of them. Go figure! I took my daughter to a petting zoo when she was 3 years old on Easter Sunday. A goat ate most of her Easter dress. She despises goats to this day. Her favorite curse is "son of a motherless goat".

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  27. We have a glass thing like that where the monkeys can come up to...but they are usually picking their nose or something completely uninteresting or disturbing

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  28. Speaking of caffeine, I'mma gonna go caffeinate RIIIIIGHT now. And you are so right. Zoos pretty much rock. Other than crazy monkeys. ;o)

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  29. Hey, we went to our local zoo on Friday! It's zoo season :)

    I didn't dress my kids in zoo outfits...wait, does a Dora the Explorer shirt count as "zoo"? She's out in the jungle and SEES zoo animals so maybe it counts?

    my younger girl LOVED all the animals, even the ones that could potentially rip her throat out (the owl and falcon that were part of a show). And she would have LOVED to make friends with a peacock but the peacocks were not so inclined ;)

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  30. I love going to the zoo and monkeys are always my favorite. It was a beautiful day, wasn't it? (we were at the CO Springs zoo yesterday morning)!

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  31. This brought back memories of all the zoo trips we did with our kids. Hilarious.

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  32. Natalie is too cute, especially in her ZOO OUTFIT! poor thing with the monkeys though. Nice.

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  33. LOL. Your zoo adventures sound much more fun than the ones my teenager and I embark on. She's more interesting in scoping out teen boys than monkeys, though I did try and explain the whole ape connection :-)

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  34. Yea, gotta watch out for those monkeys. Look what they did to Dorothy (at least yours didn't have wings)

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  35. awww!! poor natalie!! but i have to admit, that picture is AWESOME!! lol...

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  36. okay, i could NOT get over that insane monkey picture!! it's like one of those crazy, infected monkeys from that movie outbreak. poor natalie! (i would have been laughing too hard to help, too...!!)

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  37. That monkey is really mean! Why would it have any beef with such an adorable little girl? Maybe it did not have it's caffeine intake for the day yet?

    I know I'm no good without my morning coffee. This morning my daughter came to wake me up and my response was "Mmm. Mommy is tired. I want to sleep! Go tell daddy to go make me some coffee!"

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  38. When we go to the zoo, I try to shuffle my boy past the monkey house w/o them noticing b/c that thing STINKS. I can't stand it.

    Your pics are so cute. :)

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  39. I think coordinating your outfit to where you are going make perfect sense, now, what did you wear?

    ha-ha.

    Looks like a great time (minus getting up early!)

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  40. What a fun post! It brings back many a great zoo trip with my daughter. And yes, most of the animals slept through every zoo trip of ours too!

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  41. So funny! Monkey schmonkey, who needs mean monkey's.

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  42. What in the world set them off? Poor little thing is probably scarred for life! Natalie, I mean. The monkey too, I guess.

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  43. Looks like a fun trip. I would have put her in a zoo outfit too. Very cute.

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  44. I have done the zoo outfit before. Nobody noticed. I would love to have someone like you hollaring "Zoo outfit!" and waving though. haha! The monkey looks mean! Poor Natalie! Jon commented that I've been drinking a lot of coffee. You got it though, caffeine is a girl's best friend.

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  45. Last time I took my brood to the zoo, when I was leaving, they tried accusing me of stealing the animals.

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  46. The first part of your blog had me laughing out loud, no small feat. Sounds just like how I would have reacted in the same situation. "what's this?" regarding your kid. TOO FUNNY Well, I just want to thank you and now that I have wiped the tears of laughter from my cheeks, I think I am composed enough to finish reading you blog.

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  47. LOL @ those crazy monkeys! Glad you had a nice trip.

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  48. I LOVE reading your posts. YOu have a knack for putting a histerical twist on family time that I can totally relate to. So tell me, where is your book and when can I read it? If you haven't written one yet- you'v'e gotta write one on family life! It'd be a bestseller.

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  49. That monkey's face scared the crap out of me. It's probably a good thing that so many critters were asleep. You'd have had one freaked out Natalie if they'd all been awake.

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  50. Not sure why it wouldn't let you post your comment. I'm so new to this site... I did go in and tweak some things. May be next time it will let you. Thank you!!

    I follow you on OD (I'm Rocknrolldiva on there) and when I decided to come here, decided to follow you here too. You are so funny and your words flow so well. :o)

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  51. Okay, first of all, I love that giraffe shirt - if it came in my size I would totally wear it. And that was an intense monkey experience!

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  52. Maybe the monkeys needed some caffeine too!

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  53. I love the zoo, too, but I never thought to DRESS in zoo clothes. Hmmm...maybe next time I'll wear my ape costume! LOL!

    How sweet that you put Natalie in "zoo appropriate" clothes. You are too funny.

    Who knew that "stranger danger" applied to a monkey?

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  54. I got lots of good chuckles with this post. Triggered some good memories of St. Louis zoo visits when my kids were little (they're now in their 40s). Denver attractions are on my TO DO List this summer -- I've lived in northern Colorado since 1998 and still haven't been to the aquarium, and haven't been to the Denver zoo since I was 18 years old. This time it will be just hubby, me, and the camera.

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  55. I see nothing wrong with a little morning bite as long as everyone has been properly vaccinated for rabies...

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  56. My husband and I had a similar confrontation one day when he was trying to wake me up. I am very incoherent at first and to hear him tell it, my sentences make no sense!

    Can not wait until Roxy gets old enough to go to the zoo, but I think we'll stay far, far away from the monkeys :)

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  57. The zoo is my favorite place in the world! And I'm not a morning person either... I feel your pain.

    Adorable pictures. =)

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  58. Now you have an excuse to buy a monkey outfit - just doing research I mean... do the monkeys yike monkey outfits better?

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  59. LOL! My son and niece were totally attacked by those same monkeys when we went to Denver in May! Craziness.

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