“So let me get this straight,” Tom said as he eyed my sleeping bag. “You’re going...CAMPING?”
Why was it so difficult for him to comprehend? Yes, I was camping. Big deal. So why was Tom staring at me like I had one of those goblins from Labyrinth on my head?
“I love to camp,” I said, stuffing a bag full of camping stuff. You know, things like a lantern, games, caffeine, my iPod Touch...(what? This is modern day camping. Kudos to the people who can set up in a mountain and turn off technology and can live off the land. I am not one of those people.)
“You just...don’t look like a camping person to me,” Tom admitted. “Your idea of roughing it is going without hot water.”
Hey. I can camp! I can totally be a camper. I’m down with sleeping on the floor.
“Plus, you freaked out over a moth the other day. There will be lots of moths when you camp,” Tom reminded me.
Okay, I did freak out over a moth but it was HUGE. And it kept fixing its beady eyes at me as though it had a sinister plan. I think everyone would have been wary of a moth like that. And if I encounter one while camping, well, isn’t that what bug spray is for? And if all else fails, can’t I shout for a fellow camper to come get it for me?
“There also could be bees,” Tom rambled on.
Ew. I do not like bees. I’ve been known to streak across our yard screaming, “BEEEEE!! BEEEEEEEE!” Look, I’ve been stung before and it wasn’t fun. So when a bee approaches, my natural reaction is to run. I can’t help it. They love to torment me.
“Everything will be great,” I told Tom. I mean, how hard could camping be? My friend Amanda and I decided to go to the camping spot on the base on Saturday. Mainly so we can get some peace and quiet. It’s sad that we have to camp to get that but oh well. We plan on playing games all night. Oh, and eat. My bag is stuffed with all sorts of snacks. Chips, cookies, cream soda....
“It’s supposed to rain,” Tom said. Ugh, he was starting to kill my camping buzz. He was probably trying to talk me out of it so he wasn’t stuck with the children.
“That’s what tents are for,” I sang, checking out my sleeping bag. It was still in it’s package, never opened. I had bought it thinking that one day I’d totally camp. Of course that was a couple years ago but still.
“Do you know how to set up the tent?” Tom asked.
Er. Okay look, putting things together is not my forte. I try to put together toys for the kids and usually wind up in tears. Like once Tommy asked me to transform his Transformer back into the car and I couldn’t do it. I followed the instructions but when I was finished, two pieces had broken off and the Transformer looked like a plastic blob.
“Amanda knows how,” I said. It was her tent we were camping in.
“You know they say it’s haunted down there. Sometimes while on post we get calls about a girl screaming and no one finds a thing,” Tom explained.
A GHOST? I’d be sleeping with a SCREAMING GHOST?
“Everything will be great,” I said again, but my voice faltered a bit. A screaming GHOST? What if she screamed in my ear and woke me up? I don’t take kindly to people waking me up, alive or not.
“Good luck then,” Tom said, shrugging.
“Thank you. Everything will be great,” I repeated, with a sharp nod of my head.