Tuesday, July 20, 2010

We Don't Travel Well.....

"Look Tom," I said, nudging his arm. "A couple who actually like each other when they travel." I nodded my chin towards a couple who were cuddling and laughing over an article in a magazine.

"God, what's wrong with them?" Tom wondered and we shared a smile.

Here's the thing: we don't travel well together. It's why I know we could never be on The Amazing Race. We'd constantly snap at each other and then articles would be written up saying that we were in an abusive relationship. It's happened to other couples on The Amazing Race where the man or the woman barks at their partner constantly. "Obviously it's an unhappy relationship," bloggers will gossip and I always want to say, "No, they probably just don't travel well together."

Our bickering always starts at airport security. I'll snap at Tom because he's moving too quickly and he'll retort that I need to pick up the pace.

"I'm dealing with two children, you ass," I'll say. I know, I know, name calling is not proper, all the experts will say it and Dr. Phil would most likely faint if he listened into my conversations with Tom while we're at an airport.

Then after airport security he'll sigh as I gather all my things from the conveyer belt. I'm anal and sometimes think that the X-Rays will cause our airplane tickets to disappear so I always have to go through my bag and make sure they're still there. Tom sighs as he stands above me, waiting, and will say something like, "The tickets are there, okay?"

"I'm just checking, don't rush me!"

He also has a habit of walking quickly and I trail behind. Or sometimes it's me who is walking quickly and he's behind.

"It would be nice," Tom said as we walked through the Denver Airport, "if you'd wait up for me."

"No thank you," I'll answer.

When we get to our gate neither of us likes where the other choses to sit. Like I sat down at Denver and Tom blinked at me and went, "This is where we're sitting?"

"No, I just sat here for no reason," I replied.

Another time Tom settled down somewhere and I said, "Can we move closer to our gate?" and Tom went, "No one is stopping you, sweetheart."

By the time we've gotten on the plane we're ready to throttle each other. It drives me crazy how Tom sighs and looks irritated when I ask him to pull something out from his backpack.

"Can I get the DVD player?" I asked him.

"Ugh, fine." He acted as though it were this huge feat to bend down and pull out the DVD player.

Heaven forbid if I ask for something an hour later.

"Did we just DO this?" Tom will grumble and I'll want to throw the airplane peanuts at his bald head.

Lucky for us, we make up by the time we land. One of us will poke the other's arm or leg right before we make it to our destination....this time, as we were about to land in San Antonio, Tom pressed his finger into my arm and made a goofy face and all was well again.

Of course sometimes when we pick up our baggage the bickering starts again.

"What baggage carousel are we?" Tom will ask and I'll shrug and go, "Not sure yet, we have to wait for our flight to come up on the screens," and Tom will take offense that I'm not psychic and I'll call him an inconsiderate prick.

But then by the time we make it to our final destination, all is forgiven again.

We fly back home on the 29th.

Wonder who will snap first?

And tomorrow we get to the beach. No Wifi. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm told you can get a connection in the lobby but who knows how often I can do that with two kids running around.

I'm hoping to be surprised and have Wifi in the room.

Because hi, I'm Amber, and I'm addicted to the Internet.

(Hi Amber.)

55 comments:

  1. You aren't alone. We aactually travel OK, but my husband tends to have a short fuse in situations like that, and we tend to get a little snippy.

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  2. I'd totally be one of the dysfunctional couples.

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  3. This is just another reminder of the benefits of singlehood! But wait, travelling with my sons is just as bad!

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  4. Okay, am I the only one who thinks it's kinda sweet? I mean, the nudging each other and stuff, once the traveling part is over, is so cute. Traveling is STRESS personified; it's bound to put your nerves on the ragged edge.

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  5. Hi Amber, I am Stephanie and I am addicted to the internet :)

    I was so over the moon happy when I found out that the cottage we are renting for a week this month has high speed internet. Just about cried in relief!

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  6. I'm right there with you. I travel great by myself, but not so great with others!

    Oh and hi Amber. I'm addicted to the internet as well!

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  7. At least you make up in time to enjoy the destinitaion!

    My hubs and I fight all the freakin time when we travel. Why is he only resposible for himself while I have to take care of 4 boys and myself??

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  8. i just want to say that i think calling your husband an ass is a perfectly acceptable thing to do, in virtually any situation. :)

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  9. Nothing says I love you like fighting with a spouse right before you board a plane for what could be that last time.

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  10. we actually travel well together...its bizarre! but we've definitely had those moments! i hope you get your internet connection! my fingers are crossed!!

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  11. My hubs and I are the same way...travelling for us is nothing but hectic and chaotic!

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  12. Hi, I'm Ale and I'm a bit addicted too.
    ( sccccc, I say a bit, because I don't want to admit that I'm addicted in front of my hubby ;)
    Besides, I too hate to travel with him (my hubby not yours).

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  13. My hubby won't fly anywhere - so no arguments at the airport for us. But put us in the car together for a long drive.....it can get ugly.

    Hi, Amber! I'm Gigi and I'm addicted too!

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  14. At least you share in the responsibility, I take full rsponsibility in the fact that I don't travel well with the family. Evryone else is fine, I have to walk around the terminal like I'm preping for a 5K. Oh, and my baggage always eats the plane tickets too. -J

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  15. Okay, I'm giggling...I can just picture the two of you along with about 8 gazillion other couples!

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  16. I sometimes travel with someone that simply has to make "jokes" when in the line at security... you know the ones. "Wonder how bombs are in these bags?" and so on... I tell them to "STFU" and they get miffed at me.

    Sheesh... I just want to get where we are going, not to Guantanamo Bay.

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  17. Builderman tries to annoy me on purpose when we travel. God, it.....annoys me. :P

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  18. I totally understand what it is like to not travel well! My husband and I should not be allowed to be anywhere near each other on any and all trips; it is a fight just waiting to happen.

    Also, welcome to San Antonio, I hope you enjoy your stay here! We have been stationed here since February and we love it!

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  19. Luckily out of all the times I have traveled most of them have been alone. Good luck dealing with your addiction at the beach!

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  20. Hi, I'm Dazee and I'm addicted too. Good luck with the WiFi and if not, breathing exercises will help. Have fun at the beach.

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  21. Hope you have Internet!!! Have fun!

    Jon and I travel well together. I'm not sure why, but we do. You guys are cute though with your making up. Too funny!

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  22. We aren't great travelers either. If we are driving he expects me to know where to go even if the directions are wrong. I think that traveling just puts everyone on edge.

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  23. No Wifi???

    If you start tweaking within the first hour, toss back a drink, stash the kids with the bartender and run your ass into the lobby.

    We will all help you through this!

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  24. Hi Amber.


    Oh man, I would love to just be a fly on the wall and watch you and Tom during this whole process!

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  25. Hi Amber.

    I think I'd be scared to be on the same flight as you two. LOL.

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  26. If the hubs and I were to were to go on Amazing Race, I can guarantee you we would be divorced by the end of episode 1!

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  27. you are not alone Amber in either of the situations here. My husband and I don't travel well at all. We are all set if it is a quick car ride to the store but airport, lengthy car ride, or anything like that it is claws out for us.

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  28. Hi Amber!

    And I've never read a funnier description of traveling!

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  29. Ahhh, a realistic romantic relationship. This is much more enjoyable to read than Twilight! It's a heck of a lot more interesting. :)

    As long as you still can make faces at each other at the end of the day, you know you'll be all right!

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  30. Oh, I expect to deal with exactly the same kind of stuff when we do our first big family vacation come September...the really bad name calling will probably be kept to a minimum since we are travelling with his sister and his parents ;)

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  31. Oh, I expect to deal with exactly the same kind of stuff when we do our first big family vacation come September...the really bad name calling will probably be kept to a minimum since we are travelling with his sister and his parents ;)

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  32. woooooosh..
    and this is why i HATE HATE to travel by flying...
    i'm dreading this for us.. come the 5 of august.. flying to oklahoma.. and i'm already feeling sick thinking of it... lol

    have a great trip!!

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  33. I've often wondered how my son and his wife and their four kids manage on trips (and they take a lot of them). I know that if he can manage it, my son says "Oh darn! I have to leave 24 hours after you guys and come home 24 hours before you! What a shame!" Uh huh. He thinks he's pulling the wool over her eyes, but he's not!

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  34. Haha, but I bet the relaxation (sans Wifi, eek!) will be worth it!

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  35. We travel well together, but lately have been taking separate trips. Well you know how at the Denver airport you have to go downstairs to be picked up by a spouse... my husband can not figure that out, no matter how many times he travels. So when I go to pick him up I have to circle around for an HOUR before he gets his act together and realizes all the cars around him are buses and taxis. I then call him an idot. We then argue. We make up by the time we get home usually.

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  36. It's so great to hear exactly how human you are.

    When we used to go on vacations (our life is a constant vacation now), if we planned something, and then I wanted to spontaneously throw something else in, or DEVIATE from the plan, GOD FORBID, this would throw my husband into a tizzy! He would get so mad! Why couldn't he go with the flow? What was the big deal? We often fought on vacations.

    Hope you have wi-fi wherever you are going. It's rough without it!

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  37. that totally sounds like my husband and I! Thankfully we've only had to fly together once :)

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  38. my family never gets along when we go places. it's my parents and 3 teenaged girls. and we never plan out what we are going to do once we get where we are going so we spend half of the time arguing about what we are going to do next or complaining about what we are doing. i've never been on a family vacation that i enjoyed.

    http://justmycrazyboringlife.blogspot.com/

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  39. We travel well together when it's just the two of us. Security is easy and we are escaping. When the kids are with us it's a whole other ballgame.....

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  40. There is something wrong with married people who DON'T bicker with each other while traveling.

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  41. I'm glad we aren't the only ones who are happily in verbally abusive relationships. The other day my daughter said something about a "loser". I gasped and asked my husband, "Where did she learn that word!?!?!" He said, "Probably when you called ME that." Huh. Oh well, it makes up for when she calls me "Big Butt". :o)

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  42. Man, I would love to go on the Amazing Race. We are the opposite of you. We travel great together!

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  43. Hi Amber! I'm an addict too! lol Glad you are safe and still have a connection

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  44. I think all married couples argue when they travel. It's a law or something. I was traveling to Seattle, WA from Charlotte, NC with my husband and his family for a wedding last summer and he was walking way too fast to get to our gate and somehow I got lost in the crowd. By the time I got to the gate with his mom and cousin, I was in tears and he had the nerve to look at me and say "That's what happens when you walk slow!"... I smacked him across the face in front of his family and said "And THATS what happens when you're an asshole!"... the best part was that his grandma applauded me ;)

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  45. LOL. My hubby and I are heading out for the weekend and my iPhone is cracked and not working. MY main concern is whether I'll be able to get my emails / read blogs while we're away. His priority is finding the most remote campground. Sometimes I wonder how we got together.

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  46. Count us in the dysfunctional crowd too. We just don't do anything overt. It's all in the body language and eye rolling with us.

    I only snorted twice during this. I think that's a record for me.

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  47. Hahaha! I don't even have Wifi in my house. Which is good because my PC is so old it doesn't even do wireless... Time to upgrade, methinks.
    Enjoy your vacation.

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  48. Hubs and I travel together well. Especially road trips. We live for our summer road trips to Chicago. 8 hours of uninterupted US time.

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  49. My Hubby is a professional traveler. He knows all the rules and tricks. For about 7 months once, he commuted weekly from Phoenix to New York City. Believe me, he knows what he's doing. So I simply stay in his draft (just like in NASCAR) as he barrels around the airports in hyper speed. Maybe Tom should be in charge of the kids and you should be in charge of the tickets!

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  50. oh, gosh, yes. I just guest posted on this...oh, gosh, me and you both, sister.

    i feel your pain..

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  51. I couldn't hack it on The Amazing Race because I need more sleep than they get. But at least I know I'd never get all snippy and pissed that "the locals" don't all happen to speak English. But Amber? Good for you re: the internet, because admitting you have a problem is half the battle. Maybe you should attend a Friends of Bill G. meeting. (Bill Gates, get it? Get it? 12 step joke coupled with computer geek humor. Pret-ty dorky, tonight; my apologies.

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  52. If I had a nickel for every set of parentheses I forget to close when commenting, I'd be Bill Gates by now.

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