Friday, September 3, 2010

The Day Things Broke

“Hopefully your stuff doesn’t start to break. That seems to always happen when husbands deploy,” my neighbor told me sweetly.

What? My stuff couldn't break. I’m awful with tools. I just figured out the difference between and Phillips and flathead last year for God’s sake.

I’d just have to be very careful then. Yes. That’s what I’d do. I’d be very careful and....

“Mommy! Look what happened!” Natalie pointed angrily to her toy. Which was, oh no, BROKEN.



But that’s okay, she’s three, things are inevitably going to break when a three-year-old is hanging around them.

So long as nothing major broke, I’d be fine.

A few hours later I was on the couch, trying to concentrate on what in the world was going on in 19 Kids and Counting. Were the older kids getting stuck with the task of cooking dinner again? Maybe I should make my kids cook dinner when they got older. The Duggar kids seemed to like it. Then again, they think that dancing is the Devil’s work or something. I bet they’d pass out if they popped into a club in New York. I bet—

Ka-thunk.



That was the sound of a piece of the couch falling to the ground.

“Seriously?” I said out loud.

“Seriously?” Natalie mimicked.

“I didn’t do it,” Tommy chimed in.

Oh no. What if everything was starting to break? Suppose the car broke down next? I don’t speak car, what in the world would I do? I guess call the car maintenance people and say things like, “Yes, the black thing under the hood looks funny.” But crap, aren’t most things under the hood black? How boring is that though, can’t things be different colors? Like the engine could be purple, and the....um...oh hell, the only thing that I know that lives under the hood is the engine! Crappity, crap, crap.

I managed to fix the couch.

Phew.

Everything was okay again. Please oh please, let nothing else break.

Later we settled down the eat dinner.

I settled down into my seat and....

*Snap*



There went my armrest.

“I’m cursed!” I said dramatically, palms pointing upward.

“Me too!” Natalie said, copying me.

“Do I have to eat my peas?” is all Tommy offered.

The good news is, nothing has broken since then. *Knocks on wood frantically*

The bad news is, I still have eleven months until Tom gets home.

So please. PLEASE.

Let that have been it.

(Ironically, right after I finished the entry, one of my fans stopped working.)

53 comments:

  1. I know you're in turmoil here, but I laughed out loud at your couch picture. I couldn't help it. :) Things like that always happen when the husbands leave!

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  2. Haha - oh no! It's bound to happen. That's what glue and tape are for!

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  3. I think you should make your neighbor fix everything. He/she brought the wrath of Murphy's Law down upon you.

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  4. Your neighbor totally cursed you and is now responsible for all repairs.

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  5. Don't things happen in threes? I'm sure you're done now, right?

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  6. EEK! Hopefully things settle down and nothing "major" breaks....ugh!

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  7. Oh I hope that is the last of broken things.

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  8. DUCK TAPE GIRL!!!! Buy lots & lots of duck tape :O)

    it fixes everything!

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  9. I've heard of this curse of deployment. Hopefully you got it all out of the way right away and now you'll be set for the next 11 months! :)

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  10. YOu might have to find a temporary replacement husband. I hear Mel Gibson is available.

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  11. That happens to us too. It seems there's always something breaking and needing fixed. I usually make a list and then call Handyman Connection. I agree with Trish--Duct tape is great for fixing almost anything.

    Here's a link to a post I did about duct tape if you get a chance to stop by: http://zemeks.blogspot.com/2010/04/duct-tape-to-rescue-in-five-ways.html

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  12. Don't knock on that wood too hard, or it might break too. ;)

    Is John Krasinski handy around the house? You could totally write him a heart-wrenching plea for help ...

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  13. That stinks. I bet you'll get really good at fixing things. Or could you borrow a neighbor's husband to fix stuff.

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  14. You need to find an alternative husband...someone that comes and fixes all the stuff that breaks...and then leaves so you can still have the bed to yourself

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  15. I must have jobs on the brain because when I read the last sentence about your fan not working and I imagined one of your blog readers being out of a job. Ha.

    Well, I hope nothing else breaks!

    (I'm a somewhat new follower, btw.) :)

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  16. 1) thanks for commenting on my high school misery0 but actually that was a good day.. umm yeah HS sucked.

    2) Duct Tape! and Duck Tape brand now comes in a large variety of colors to you can pretend it is DESIGNER tape... hey, whatever works, right?

    and 3) I love your banner... pic and graphics are awesome... where did you get it done, or who did it, or are you just that awesome you can do those things (which makes not knowing what else is under the hood but the engine totally understandable!)

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  17. Just think of how awesome you are gonna be at fixing stuff!

    Just arm yourself with duct tape and super glue and you'll be set!

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  18. Yes. I concur with a few of the other comments. Duct tape all the way baby.

    Let's see. 4 broken items in 1 month. times 11 more months. Clearly equals permission to go on a raging shopping spree to replace all items with brand new. When Tom comes home and flips out, you can stop him in his tracks with a, "But honey. everything I purchased also has an extended warranty".

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  19. Yes, duct tape is going to become your friend. I suggest Gorilla tape, Gorilla glue and Gorilla super glue. Seriously, go buy them. :D Hope nothing else breaks, tho!

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  20. The day the furniture broke!! If it wasn't so humorous, I'd probably cry!

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  21. Get thee some Gorilla Glue and you'll be all set for the next 11 months. Oh and might as well pick up some Gorilla Tape too. I think it comes in purple.

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  22. I think you need to egg the neighbor's house on Halloween for putting a curse on your things.

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  23. Okay - egg your neighbor - but stuff breaks anyway. In our house it was stove, dishwasher, microwave, refrigerator, arm rest on dining room chair, throw car in there between each one, and NOW our central air conditioner.

    Bleh!

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  24. These things happen in sets of three so you are all done now!

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  25. Oh, that's no good. Sending "no more things breaking" vibes your way!

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  26. Eeeep. That is not good. You need a priest to come and bless the house so the neighbor's bad juju goes away. (BTW, I'm not catholic, so you may need to check with someone who knows).

    Aren't the Duggars a hoot. Want to hear something very hooty? I was raised EXACTLY like the Duggars...even used the same school materials, wore the same clothes, didn't dance, have TV, or go to the movies. My parents only had 2 children though......

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  27. when Alex deployed for a year, the roof went bad. It was raining in the room and raining hard. I got the insurance guy and it was covered (Thank God) so I dealt with roofers, painters, insurance adjusters, and the local medicine man to get me through it. Dang! That sucked!

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  28. Anything can be fixed with either duct tape or WD40. Stock up on those things.

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  29. I am having a similar issue with my car... first the AC, now the back window... it's dying a slow, painful, and expensive death.... SIGH

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  30. I can only speak the truth as I know it,....I can't say things will get better, but I guarantee they will get different.

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  31. Maybe you are cursed. Nah, things break down. You are creative enough to fix just about anything!

    I have faith in you.

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  32. Are you sure Tom didn't somehow half break everything so that it would fully break while he was gove, just in case you didn't miss him enough? Just wondering...

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  33. Ha! I just had visions of Tom coming home in 11 months to a house of destroyed furniture and asking, "Oh my God, did we get robbed? Did a tornado hit us? What?"

    "Nah, everything just broke. No big deal."

    You'd better start looking for a "handy-man" now. Hopefully this is the end of it, but just in case, right?

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  34. Be very, very careful when you brush your teeth.

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  35. As long as body parts don't start falling off I think you'll be okay :)

    Sorry...I did laugh. I have memories of when my hubby was gone for 2 years o.O

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  36. At this rate, they'll be nothing left standing for him to come back too.

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  37. Usually...things come in threes...guess this case is that it's in fours! :-X
    Hope your weekend is break-free :D

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  38. Oh man girl, I have to admit, I did laugh a little. Not at things breaking but at how you wrote it. You are a great writer! I too hope nothing else breaks. I don't speak car either. Ugh!

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  39. Sorry, but it was a funny post! I hope nothing else breaks for you.

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  40. Gah! The couch damage made me cringe. Fingers crossed that all else remains intact, haha.

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  41. Wellllllllll....that sucks!

    I think I'd be most upset about the couch thing. 'Cause really, noone likes to look ghetto.

    I have two broken drawers in my kitchen, they're just really such an irritation, and I feel like white trash every time I see them all saggy and sad there. And I have a husband here...what's my excuse?

    Hope nothing else goes kerplunk in the night! Good luck with that.

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  42. At the end of this very long year, you will have gained strength and skills you thought impossible. Fun times!

    You are woman! RAWR!!!!!

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  43. Why, oh, why does stuff break when they leave? Last week my hubs was gone hunting and my car started making noises on the exact morning he left.

    Effin Murphy's Law of being a mom.

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  44. I really feel for you. Uncertainty kinda bites.

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  45. Hmmm... you need to lay in a stock of super glue, duct tape, and some coat hanger wire...

    I hope that deferred maintance won't cause too many problems.

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  46. It happens in 3's so you should be good for a while. I never understood why things break when no one who can actually fix them is around to fix them??

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  47. I know I shouldn't laugh, but bless your heart ... Murphy's Law says that every frickin' thing will break this year. My best defense has been to invest in a glue gun and LOTS of glue sticks!

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  48. someone on another board I visit mentioned that mercury is in retrograde till the 12th so things may be breaking more than usual. if you believe that stuff.

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  49. I don't know why but that couch picture actually made me laugh out loud... sorry!

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  50. Oh no!! LOL, I had to laugh at the picture of the couch though, I have to admit. Hehe!

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