Friday, September 24, 2010

The Headache List

The world can get crazy. Especially with Tom being gone. Granted, I am grateful for all that I have obviously. But I can’t help but get annoyed at times. The following things have been giving me a headache lately:




The stuff that Tommy likes to build around the house. I love his imagination but it gets aggravating when his ‘creations’ take over my living room and he gets upset if I ask if I can move one. “I made that!” he’ll say incredulously. And heaven help my eardrums if Natalie dares to touch one. (This creation was a runway for his airplanes, by the way.)




How commercials and labels such as these always talk about the mothers doing the cleaning and cooking. Hello, it’s 2010. Maybe men would take the initiative to cook and clean more if society wasn’t shoving ‘Mom this’ and ‘Mom that’ down their throats. Maybe MOM wants a break and would love if DAD offered to whip something up for the latest bake sale.




The fact that Tommy always puts his underwear on backwards. He’s beyond the cartoon-ish underwear and wanted boxers. So fine, I got him some, and he doesn’t get that the flap goes in front. This is probably due to the fact that he doesn’t use the flap, that he actually pulls down his underwear when he goes and I’m not about to further explain it to him. That’s an awkward conversation that Tom can have with him on Skype.




How food companies feel the need to explain to me exactly what my kid is eating when I buy their product. They have to do this because of all those uppity moms (probably the same ones who whined that Katy Perry’s outfit was inappropriate when she sang with Elmo on Sesame Street ) out there who just need to learn to relax and enjoy motherhood and not fret about every little thing. So long as my kid likes it, I don’t need to know the protein content, thanks.




Glen’s poop. You remember Glen, the annoying antelope who likes to eat my tree and gets further enjoyment from defecating on my driveway. I have to clean that, by the way. If I don’t, I get a citation from base housing for having animal feces in my yard. MY YARD IS NOT YOUR PERSONAL TOILET, GLEN.

61 comments:

  1. I get the same reaction to Son's creations invading my house. lol

    Having to clean up wild animal poop? Gross!

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  2. I had to laugh at the underwear photo! When exactly to males start using the "flap"? Inquiring minds want to know! I don't think it's unusual for boys to pull their underwear down.

    Maybe you need to make a sign for your front yard: A pile of poop with a circle and line through it. Do you think Glen can read?

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  3. oh man!
    tommys boxer conundrum really sent me laughing!!!

    have a wonderful wkend

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  4. I never knew antelope poop was so small!
    You are a much better mom than me, I would have taken down the runway.

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  5. I feel your pain. I can't even count the number of fabulous forts that have been constructed in our front room that have caused major meltdowns when "touched" by a sibling. And underwear on backwards is hilarious! One day last year, my son who is now 7 came down with his pants on backwards! They were jeans! I couldn't believe he didn't realize it! Kids are so helpful.

    Would you get a citation for shooting Glen and eating him for dinner? It seems only fair!

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  6. You are right. NOw that you point it out us moms sure do get nagged a lot. Now I have a headache.

    My son started out putting undewear on backwards and I always wondered how he managed to get it backwards EVERY TIME. You think half..right? Now he is in the seventh grade...I think he may have finally conquered the problem.

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  7. That is absolutely hilarious about your son. I don't blame you for wanting dad to explain the flap!

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  8. I sort of thought that antelope poop would be much bigger than that! BUT there sure is a lot of it!!!

    About Tommys backwards underwear, my nephew does the same thing. And he claims he just likes it that way so we just let him do it. Oh with his pants too. I dont' know why! Thankfully he grew out of it.

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  9. At least he is wearing underwear. My youngest, for the longest time, was all anti-underwear and would sneak out of the house commando if I forgot to do the daily underwear check!
    Glen the Antelope needs an etiquette lesson...I'm just sayin'!

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  10. Oh, Glen, can't you use the toilet like the rest of us?

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  11. I say you should start feeding Glen something that's more binding. Bananas maybe? Loaves of bread?

    Also in cut-up cardboard hell...

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  12. What in the heck are you going to do about Glen? He's a menace to society and your sanity.

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  13. Everytime I read one of your posts, I get the sense that my stepdaughter is just like all other kids - confusing, and annoying. But we love them all the same. My stepdaughter sometimes wears things inside out or backwards. She claims that's "in" though :-)

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  14. Aha, Glen is back!

    By the way, I'm not a mom and I don't consider myself "uppity," but I thought Katy Perry's wardrobe choice was completely thoughtless for a kids show. You wouldn't wear that to teach pre-school, why wear it on Sesame Street?

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  15. What? I didnt know those flaps were actually functional. My boys obviously dont know it either. I should tell my 9 yr old so he can stop mooning the other boys in the bathroom...

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  16. If you don't have one, you need to get a leaf blower and blow Glen's "presents" out into the middle of the street, or the neighbor's yard. Whichever you're feeling at the moment. This way you don't have to come in contact with it.

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  17. LOL on Glen! Stupid Antelope!!

    My son does things like that too with the creation. For awhile he was wanting to keep everything that I was going to throw away so he could make something so I basically had garbage stacked up all over the house. Awesome!

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  18. My son is 8 and keep putting the heel of his sock on top of his foot, every single day....ugh how frustrating, your 8 kid put them on right! The antelope poop looks like our guinea pigs poop, you'd think it would be much bigger!

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  19. Our younger son builds the same stuff...not as often these days (he's 10) but occaisionally. And, it looks just like Tommy's! Wait til he figures out what to do with duct tape ;^)

    And, I just read your "You've Been Owned" post...our sons swim. As a swim official, I love to see the reaction of the older swimmers (usually the boys) when they finish a close race. The second place guy knows, and is usually the first to put his hand out to the first place finisher. Yeah, they know...

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  20. Maybe you should put up a "No Pooping" sign for Glen. One of those ones with the red circle with the line through it. Because maybe he doesn't speak English and that would help. Just saying...

    ♥Spot

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  21. Um, actually your yard is Glen's bathroom--what's he supposed to use? The gas station? LOL

    My daughter used to not let me move around her creations either. We worked on that through behavior therapy, and she's much more easy-going about that type of stuff now. Thank goodness!

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  22. So first you have to have a tree that you don't want and now you have to clean up wild animal poop?! What's your address I'm sending you lots and lots of cake - you deserve it for putting up with all that.

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  23. Thanks for the antelope poop picture. Strangely enough, I haven't seen a picture like this on anyone else's blog today ...

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  24. At least Glen is consistent. He's annoying you in every way that's antelopin' possible.

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  25. I would be frustrated too. That is a lot of little things that could give a mom a headache.
    Hope the frustrations fade over the weekend.

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  26. My son's more of a just pull the underwear down, too. And I have to show him specifically how to put it on or else he gets it wrong, too. Must be a boy thing. Or, just kids. I guess we should be happy they're wearing any underwear at all.

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  27. per usual you made me laugh out loud!

    I dont think there was anythign wrong with her outfit. there is something wrong with HER! okay.. she is good for adults.. but really Katy perry on sesame street?! really!? Who is the genius that thought up THAT idea!

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  28. What - haven't made that antelope chili yet?

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  29. Why on earth would 5 and 6 year olds care what Katy Perry is wearing? Why are the parents watching Sesame Street and not doing something useful while their children are watching tv? This are questions that I would like to have answered some day. LOL

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  30. Tell them its fertilizer - it looks just like rabbit poop which can be used as fertilizer. You're just going green!

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  31. I swear I feel guilty everytime I give G something non-organic. So every time.

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  32. Eww! You have to clean it up? Why? They should asign someone to remove animal crap from your lawn.

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  33. I can see where this stuff could give you a headache. :)

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  34. holy banana, I just noticed you have over 1000 followers!!!!

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  35. Why is Glen's poop so small?

    I feel like it should be much bigger.

    Maybe he's not getting enough fiber. This critter needs to lay off the trees and start eating some broccoli.

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  36. Are there really any men who actually use that flap?

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  37. Backwards underpants-- Oy, that's can't be comfortable but it's very funny.

    Hang in there. xo jj

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  38. Right there with you... headache-y kind of week!

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  39. lol Glen keeps mortifying you I see
    & you get a citation for his doings?? so wrong.

    Now that you mention the uppity moms, yes, please stop doing everyting geared for them, there's still moms who just want to see their kiddos happy and don't care about the proteins, as long as we know McDonalds isn't always good. lol

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  40. Oo we love McDonalds here, Chic Mama :) And we get the fries, not the apple slices because we live on the wild side, ha.

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  41. Bad Glen! Cleaning up poop is never fun. Sounds like the uppity Mums and the citation people are related. Bet their family get-togethers are fun.

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  42. I know how you feel...I remember when my son was younger he always had "stuff" all around the house but I have to tell you....he's 16 and still has stuff all around the house!! We are constantly telling him about it! I hope in the future you have better luck than me!!

    You need to find something to scare that little pooper away...isn't there anything they are afraid of or do not like the smell of? Just wondering.

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  43. Oh my goodness! Your son's creations! So cool but yeah I can see the headache involved.

    Yeah, my son has no idea what the flap is for either...oh well.

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  44. Hi!

    I really enjoyed your post today! I decided to do what "I" call BLOG SNOOP! ( blog snooop = looking at friends blog lists. )

    Anyway, I found yours and ended up laughing... It brings back memories...

    ~ Susan
    myhookandI.blogspot.com

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  45. Glen needs potty traning. Funny post.

    http://youcanfacetodaybecausehelives.blogspot.com

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  46. Love the creations. Glad it's not my house. :) I have my own "creations" to step over...

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  47. I think Natalie should toilet train Glen. BTW, does Glen wear a name tag, or did he introduce himself? I've got tons of deer always in the yard, and cleaning up their poop is unpleasant, but I don't know any of their names... I feel I've been letting them down. Thanks for the dose of guilt, Amber! Harumph! (Not.)

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  48. does anyone use the flap? I have tried to tell my son ok look the tag goes in the back, this part with the little hole goes in the front but he doesn't get it. and I think its even funnier when the not so good for you meals try to name good things about themselves...no sugar or no trans fat or something like that...

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  49. My youngest step-daughter Mimi has Aspergers and is completely into cutting things out. Mostly pictures out of fashion magazines. Sounds like it wouldn't be such a big deal as she cuts them out and stores them in ziploc freezer bags, but she doesn't exactly cut them out "neatly". She leaves about a bazillion little bits of paper everywhere! It used to make me absolutely nutso! She's 25 now and living with my older step-daughter and is the nanny for our 2 grandsons. They live close so I visit often and I can tell you there are still a billion bags of cutouts in her bedroom...and 10 times as many little bits of paper in there too. My older daughter is just happy she keeps it all in her room and not throughout the house for the 2 little ones to get in to.

    I wish I had advice to alleviate some of the frustration...antelope stew maybe?

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  50. I think the antelope poop would make me gag, haha.

    I'm with you on the household products' advertising being directed towards moms. Sure, it's based on market research showing that moms do just about EVERYTHING, but that doesn't make it right!

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  51. Glen is an asshole and deserves to be on someone's wall.

    My kids are always making shit out on boxes too. Either stuff for their cars or houses for the action figures.

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  52. hahaha Glen should be someone's dinner soon! And how inventive of Tommy to build such a creation but I know how it can be annoying and clutter up the living area.

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  53. i feel really guilty tossing/recycling all my kids creations too- but, um, i still do it. lol. and THANK YOU for commenting on the katy perry fiasco, i thought i was the only one.

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  54. Silly Glen the stories you must tell your friends lol

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  55. My oldest never puts her underwear on right either. I dont know how it can be comfortable

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  57. I miss the days when my two were young; and I was at home. I do remember the fatigue & the loneliness that goes along with it; but now that mine are grown I look back and can focus on the good. I enjoy your blog and am amazed (and jealous) of your talent.

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  58. I think I'd box up the Glen "nibblets" and send them to the base commander...

    Tommy just doesn't wanna "fall out" - you wouldn't know - but getting your thingy caught in the zipper is traumatic!

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  59. I think Glen would make a very nice rug. Very tudor ish :)

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