Thursday, February 17, 2011

Cleaning Cars

“I’m concerned,” Tom said as we talked on Skype.

Crap. He must’ve seen the charge for when I went to Wal-Mart. It’s just, I can’t seem to only buy a few items when I go there. I go down the food aisle and think, mmm, that looks tasty. Then I’m in the movie section and I’m like, “Ooo, great movie, I haven’t seen this in ages!” Suddenly I’m in book section and I’m all, “I could use a book to read.”

Basically, it means that I spend more than I intended.

“I can explain,” I answered. “I saw the box of Fruity Pebbles treats and had to try them. I mean, Tom, it’s Fruity Pebbles…in the shape of a BAR. Sort of like Rice Krispy Treats but in Fruity Pebbles form. Anyhow, after I got those, it went downhill from there. I found all sorts of deals and—”

“What are you talking about?” Tom interrupted.

I blinked. “I thought we were talking about the Wal-Mart charge.”

Tom shook his head. “No. I was referring to the e-mail you sent me. The one where you jokingly referred to the car as no longer blue but brown and white because you haven’t had it washed in forever?”

Oh. That. I ramble about all sorts of things in e-mails and might have mentioned the dirty car.

Wait, why was Tom talking about the dirty car?

“Yes?” I pressed.

Tom sighed. “When was the last time you had it washed?”

Since he left in August.

I didn’t tell him this though. I didn’t want him to fall out of his chair.

“Er...it’s been a few months,” I fibbed.

“You do know that all the crap they put on the road can erode the paint on the vehicle over time. Amber, knock it off, stop mimicking me, I’m serious,” Tom snapped.

I sort of mouthed the whole eroding paint bit with him. He says that all the time. Tom is a bit obsessive with washing his truck. He cannot stand a messy vehicle. And when Tom washed the truck, he didn’t half-ass it. He has wax and special cleaning crap and he even scrubs down the tires. The tires!

His truck is like the other love in his life. The only reason he washed my car along with it was because he couldn’t stand to see a messy car beside his precious baby.

I mean, the horror.

“Please tell me you’ll wash your car,” Tom said.

“Fine. It’s 60 today so I’ll do it. Happy?”

“Yes, and you will be too when you have a clean car again.”

Sure, whatevs. So long as the car works, I’m fine with it.

Still, I decided to clean the car just in case Tom asked for a picture. I wouldn’t put it past him. (And I don’t have to worry about his truck. His Mom has it since I don’t drive trucks.)

This is the before picture:



And this is the after. With Natalie running around in her underwear. She had just consumed a Fun Dip.





Close up! (And no, I didn’t use any special wax. I just washed it with the hose.)

I sent Tom an e-mail with that photo saying, “Happy, you brat?”

(He was. Probably more than a normal person would be. I’m tempted to cover the car with mud when he returns to see if he’ll pass out from shock.)

41 comments:

  1. HA! My husband and Tom could be friends. Tyler is OBSESSED with a clean car and has boxes and boxes of special creams and car goos. Last time he was deployed rather than bitch at me about it he'd just have his dad pick up my car and take it to get washed :)

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  2. Looks great! I should wash my car too . . . don't worry, you're not the only one . . .

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  3. Why can't a woman keep a vehicle clean?

    Why?

    WHY?!

    Especially the INSIDE.

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  4. The car looks great, but I have to tell you, your before shot actually looks spotless compared to the filthy beast sitting in my garage right now! I literally do not remember the last time I had it washed, and with all the dirt roads we drive around down here, I have to be careful not to lean on anything while strapping my kids in, or my outfit is completely ruined! I guess it's time to take a page out of your book and get the monster cleaned.

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  5. you should just go through one of those fancy car washes. I love it and use the time to check out facebook on my phone.

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  6. Curtis is the same way about the outside of the car - but the inside? Notsomuch. It's ridiculous, really ... I'd rather have it clean INSIDE than outside, and he's just the opposite!

    PS - I'm totally jealous of your car-washing weather!

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  7. I have been saying for months now I need to clean my car. I love it when the inside is vacuumed all beautifully.

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  8. I keep the inside of my car very picked up. I don't let stuff accumulate. The outside however is my husbands job and I probably wouldn't do it either if left to my own devices. I actually asked one of the other preschool mom's the other day if she got a new car and she said "no, I just washed it". :)

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  9. I don't think Tom would be very pleased with the current state of my vehicle either.
    And I'm impressed that you washed it by hand. I haven't done that in years. I usually just run through the touchless wash at the gas station.

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  10. it must be a man thing?? I don't feel happier because my car is washed, it is just washed. haha =)

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  11. I hope you cleaned the undercarriage and scrubbed the wheel wells.

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  12. Oh men and their clean cars....but do they complain when they leave a mess in the house? Nope.

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  13. Impressive that you washed it yourself. I would have totally just driven through the car wash and got myself a treat as a reward.

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  14. Looks great! You'd better get the inside too because you know that's coming next (at least that would be the next thing my husband brought up!)

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  15. Long distance nagging. Wow. He's a pissah.

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  16. I think Tom must be my husband's long lost brother. :-))

    Di

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  17. From your Fruity Pebble bar comment, I can tell that we might be cut from similar cloth.

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  18. Men and their trucks. I just don't get it. My husband washes his all the time. Yet the inside is like a pig sty. Go figure.

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  19. oh wow, you should see my van- if you think your car was bad before, it's nothing compared to my van right now lol....but it does need a wash...maybe i'll do that since we actually hit 40 here in Maine today.

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  20. My husband is the same way! He's ALWAYS washing his car and complaining when I don't wash mine. If he wants it clean, he has to do it himself. I'm with you--as long as it runs, I couldn't care less! lol

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  21. Hahaha thats hilarious!
    Poor Tom would have a heart attack if he saw my dirty car. Its soooo bad, mud, salt, yuck and dirt.

    But I was happy to drive in the rain today so it did get washed kind of. LOL!

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  22. haha... you are indeed the funniest and my favorite couple ever! i love you!♥

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  23. hmmmm, this reminds me......it's probably been about a year since my car has been cleaned.....sssh! don't tell Tom (or my husband).

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  24. It does look prettier now that it's clean. I save myself washing time by not having a car. Yup, I hate car washing *that* much.

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  25. Yikes. I need to wash mine. Even though it's gray and the dirt basically blends in...

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  26. What is it with men and their cars? Last weekend my husband was like "do you want me to wash your car?" and I was all "why...it's just going to snow some more...we can get it washed in May". He got it washed anyway.

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  27. What is it with boys and clean cars?! I would love to know why the idea of a clean home doesn't ignite such passion, haha.

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  28. I've had my car for nearly six years and have never actually washed it. That's what rain is for! Your husband is silly. But hey, if it makes him happy to have it washed, why not.

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  29. Lol, well, luckily for me, my husband is as slovenly about vehicles as I am! Inside and out :)

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  30. the things we do for the men we love. I love the color of your car.

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  31. I last washed my car a year ago! I kid you not!

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  32. I'm with you, if it is running I am happy. I did vaccuum mine out last week & I think I got a complete happy meal out of it... gross!

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  33. That reminds me. I need to do that today while it's still warm. I just go through the car wash though.

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  34. I'm thinking I need to run through the car wash now. I don't remember the last time our cars were cleaned...is that bad?

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  35. Thinking my husband could use a little Tom influence. I am normally the one asking, "Honey, could you please wash the truck? PLEASE?"

    Have a beautiful weekend.

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  36. This is awesome. Replace Wal-Mart with Target and you nailed every single shopping trip I take.

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  37. You've officially made me ashamed of the fact that between the months of November, when the car gets a "farewell to normal people weather" wash, to see it through winter, and April, when snow starts melting and hypothermia stops being a possibility, that car never sees water. Unless it's the sort that falls from the sky in frozen lumps. I believe there's an "Ice baby" clinging to the underside right now that would take a bulldozer to dislodge. Said ice baby is a fetching shade off dirty brown. I'm not sure what colour the car is as it's had a "snowhawk" since November. Life in Canada.

    You feel better now, huh! :)

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  38. Looks good! I never (or rarely) wash my car. I think it gets like one wash a year. Eh...

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  39. If I didn't have a husband, I would never, not even once, remember to wash the car.

    At least not until the kids are old enough to be "asking" for chores to make their "allowance".

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  40. Can I just say that I'm jealous that it's warm enough where you are that Natalie can run around in her panties, and cars are able to be washed by hand?

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  41. I can't stand a dirty car either, so I'm going to have to side with your hubby on this one. I guess that makes me a traitor too, huh??

    Have some chocolate!

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