Friday, February 18, 2011

Ten Questions A Parent Hopes To Never Ask

10. What did you stick up your sister's nose?


9. What do you mean you got sick all over your bed?


8. Did you cut your hair?


7. Why does it smell like poop in here?


6. You have 5 pages of math homework due tomorrow?


5. What do you mean I have to bring in 100 cupcakes by tomorrow?


4. Did you really curse in front of the teacher?


3. You want to have a Justin Bieber/Twilight/Jonas Brother themed party?


2. You do realize that you can’t go around calling boys penises even though they may have one, right? It’s what they HAVE. It’s not who they ARE.


1. Who ate all my chocolate?

50 comments:

  1. How about "Where are your eyebrows?".

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  2. Or, "How was your sister able to bite your nuts?".

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  3. Oh, that's a good one, too. Luckily I haven't had to ask that one.

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  4. LMAO I think I asked 9/10 of those

    also : Who threw the stick at his head,I think this might need stitches?

    why are all the tuppaware containers in the sandpit?

    what did you say you threw on the roof?

    Who has been in THAT box ,labelled dads only?

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  5. How about : Why are you telling me that you need Poster Board after the stores are closed? (too many times to count...)
    or
    What do you need rope and a hammer for?

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  6. Ha, love the other questions people are adding. Keep 'em up, they're making me laugh!

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  7. The scariest question was "Who ate all my chocolate?" LOL.

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  8. How did you get stuck in there?

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  9. How about..."Why did you color your brother's nipples with a green Sharpie?"(I have two boys)

    or

    "Where did your bangs GO?!"

    or

    "How did the phone get in the hot tub?!"

    or

    "What did you just say? Did you just say "camel toe"!? WHERE did you here that?! (seriously, my 7 year old just said this the other night and he had no idea what it meant. Proud parenting moment.

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  10. Sadly, I've said a lot of those.

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  11. Uhhh...did you see anything "funny" when you snuck into Mommy and Daddy's room last night and slept on the floor?

    Why are you carrying the drying rack with all my bras on it through the livingroom while the minister is visiting?

    What do you mean your science teacher gave you a snake to bring home and now you can't find it????

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  12. "Who used the toothpaste to decorate the bathroom?"

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  13. haha just the post I needed for a little Friday pick me up =)

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  14. Just wait til they're teenagers! I think back fondly on those questions!

    And I beg to differ with number 2 - but I've been divorced twice.

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  15. I am NOT looking forward to the day any of those come out of my mouth :)

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  16. Here are some "winners" I have had to ask my kids:

    "What do you mean 'will G-d forgive you if you have sex with 10 girls before you get married'?"

    and

    "Why do you need to know what will happen if a pair of socks are "accidentally" dropped in the toilet?"

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  17. ROTFL! Thanks! I needed a good laugh

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  18. Hilarious!! Esp the one about calling boys "penises"!

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  19. The question I used to ask all the time was, "What do you mean you didn't do it? You DO realize you are the only kid in this house, right?"

    Come to think of it; I still ask this one a lot.

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  20. How about "where is the glue?" and "why does you're brother's hair look like that?" in the same conversation. -J

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  21. Ah the joys of parenthood! so funny!

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  22. Just wait, the questions get worst as they get older.
    However true question that I had to ask my sons when they were young; Who pee in the pencil box and why?

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  23. I like to tell obnoxious boys "Just cuz you HAVE one doesn't mean you have to ACT like one!".

    I particularly like #1!

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  24. The questions I hope to never have to ask my sons:

    1. Why is there a patrol car in the driveway?

    2. Are you sure it's yours?

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  25. Oh, have you had to say these things? Why does it smell like poop in here -- made me LOL... literally.

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  26. how about: Where's my stockings?
    (mother talking to the pet dog) Haha.

    Your post makes me giggle! Oh i love you!♥

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  27. You have to go to school dressed as WHAT? ToMORROW?

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  28. Ha! These are great. Today I told my 3-year-old son, who just finished streaking through the livingroom,: "Honey, take your penis off the coffeetable." I'm filing that under things I never thought I'd say.

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  29. lol ive said quite a few of those!

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  30. oh my... sounds like my house!\
    ~chrissi~

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  31. How did you get peanut butter and jelly in your diaper?

    Yeah, I know these questions.

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  32. Hearty Congrats! Rain Drops "www.thedoveandtheraven.blogspot.com has chosen your blog for " Life is Good" award.

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  33. LOL - this absolutely cracked me up! I am so happy I found your blog! Very clever :)

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  34. My best line: Tampons are NOT rockets to be shot at your brother. I don't CARE how awesome it is to watch them fly!

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  35. Number 2 made me shoot water out my nose.

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  36. and

    Why is there a turtle in the bathtub?

    You put you foot WHERE!?!?!

    That seemed like a good idea, huh?

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  37. You flushed WHAT down the toilet?

    I've said that a few times. I have an eight year old boy too.

    Love your list! So true!

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  38. These were great! Sadly, I have asked way too many of those also!

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  39. Great list!!! But now I'm curious - how many of these have you actually had to ask?

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  40. my life's dream is to have one room in my house that doesn't smell like poop or pee. looks like it's too much to ask.

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  41. Oh my gosh. You are so funny. So seriously funny! : )

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  42. Oh man, that last one is a deal-breaker. ;-P

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  43. OMG this list is cracking me up along with all the additions in the comments!

    ...stopping by from SITS...

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  44. Did you fart?

    Why is the rug wet?

    Why are there bite marks in the butter... again?

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  45. ROFLMAO!! I have a 6 yr old boy and an 18 mon old boy. Gotta love what kids come up with!

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