Monday, March 14, 2011

Attack of the Crazies

Have you seen this photo?




The one of Suri Cruise sucking on a pacifier when she’s almost five?

Did you know it’s upsetting many people?

Did you know it doesn’t upset me?

Why?

I don’t know, because I didn’t push Suri from my vagina. Because she's not mine. Therefore, what OTHER parents do is their own business.

Some people don’t seem to comprehend this. I call these people Crazy. They are most likely part of the same group that makes other mothers feel bad about not breastfeeding, cringe if you admit that you use Pampers and NOT cloth diapers, and positively look as though they are going to vomit everywhere when you say you buy Gerber baby food instead of making your own.

Basically, the Crazy group bugs me. A lot. It’s fantastic to have opinions but making another parent feel bad about their choices? Not okay.

I breastfed both of my kids. But if I couldn’t or simply didn’t want to, that should be okay.

I used disposable diapers. Usually whatever brand was on sale.

I did not make my own baby food. Gerber was my friend.

And I circumcised my son, which made a few of the women I knew upset. They’d send me links on why circumcision wasn’t necessary and I’d reply, “Great, thanks, still having it done. Have a lovely day!" Some people out there (the Crazies) just won’t take no for an answer.

These are the people who are getting their panties (or boxers) in a knot over the Suri Cruise photo.

My advice? Chill. Suri is not your kid. Focus on your own. And if you don’t even have kids, just know it tends to annoy other parents when non-parents give advice if not asked for any.

The Cruise’s can afford to fix Suri’s teeth if the pacifier messes them up.

If Suri sprains her ankle on the high heeled shoes she wears (this also tends to infuriate The Crazies), so be it.

Honestly, the kid walks in high heels better than I can.

It’s okay to give advice but if the advice isn’t taken...it’s not the end of the world.

Really.

It’s not.

78 comments:

  1. I love this - thanks for the breath of fresh air!!! I wish everyone would abide by this philosophy!!!

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  2. AMEN. Everyone needs to MYOB. Besides, Tom and Katie can afford braces.

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  3. Very true! I bf my boys, but I always say about others choice "your boobs, your business."

    But, as much as I like to think I'm open-minded about parenting choices, I did cringe at this pic- b/c I do judge celeb craziness. ;)

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  4. First, Suri is GORGEOUS! Wow.

    Okay, yeah, who cares what other parents are doing, unless it's dangerous, like shaking the baby or whatever.

    Even if you do something "right" you still get looks for doing it too long, too much, whatever. You can never win.

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  5. That's why they call them parenting "choices" ... thanks for a great post!

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  6. Great post! Unless someone is doing something to harm their child physically or emotionally, chill out! everyone has their own ways, and knows what works best for their child - and every child is different! I hate it when people believe their one way will work for everyone - not true. We are all just human people, and we are all doing the best we can!

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  7. I absolutely agree. Their kid, their parenting decisions.

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  8. I agree! I have two small children and it really chapps my a$$ when people try to tell me how to do this or that when it comes to raising them. They are healthy well fed adjusted little girls! Stay out of our business!

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  9. Not only does this not bother me, I actually think it's great! Suri always seem too old for her age. I mean, high heels in preschool? Really? To me, it's wonderful that she still appears toddler-like in at least this aspect.

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  10. Not fond of the crazies either!

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  11. Amen, sister.

    Brilliant thought of the day, THANK YOU (and I don't even have kiddos)!!!!!!!!!!!

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  12. What an awesome post! As one of the uncrunchiest moms in my little on-line mommy group, I just grin and bear their homebirth-breastfeeding-cloth-diapering bliss and try not to feel sh*tty because I quit breastfeeding around the time my nipples started bleeding and I had to have an emergency c-section to get her here in the first place! You wouldn't believe the guilt I have to fight over this.

    Anyway, I LOVE, love this post. It made my day.

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  13. Amen, sister! We're all mothers. We all know how frickin' hard it is to raise kids. Why can't we support each other instead of picking each other to pieces? I think The Crazies' craziness is rooted in insecurity. Deep down inside, The Crazies are afraid they're really doing it all wrong and thus, have to tear everyone else down in order to convince themselves they are doing it right.

    In reality, there IS no right or wrong way. If it works for you and your child is happy and healthy, that's all the really matters.

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  14. Rock on, Amber. You always tell it like it is and I LOVE THAT!!

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  15. Great post! I just put a link in my blog to send my readers over here. You said it best!

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  16. OMG, IT IS SO THE END OF THE WORLD!! Don't you know what sort of psychological issues she may develop because of this?! Ha!

    In all seriousness, it's not that serious. It's a pacifier. It's not like she's sucking on a human femur bone.

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  17. A freaking Men.. People need to shut up for awhile & tend to their own lives before sticking their nose into everyone else's business.

    For all we know, Suri's publicist had her go in public with the pacifier as a stunt to cause the drama & get her name in the papers.

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  18. oOOoo I'm seriously scared of this lil girl. She is adorable but she has WAY too much power over the media. She blinks and people watch. She is going to be the next Hannah Montanna monster I can feel it. Hopefully Katie will save her.

    Melanie's Randomness

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  19. you are awesome :)

    Also, I have to comment on the poster above, "melanie's randomness". I have to disagree with her I am afraid. It's just that I believe it isn't the little girl's fault, and I am not in the least afraid of her or any power she may have. It is US who have the power. If crazy people weren't so infatuated with her, her family, or celebrities in general, then we would probably not have this issue :)

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  20. I second that emotion. The Crazies making everybody's business their business, makes me tired.

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  21. This is exactly how I feel! Baby No. 2 is due 9th of may and I am already fed up with how other people are scrutinising My decisions. Thanks for such a refreshing post :)

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  22. Well said! I am having a giveaway that ends this Friday to celebrate Spring. Check it out and enter if you haven't already! Kori xoxo

    http://www.blondeepisodes.com/2011/03/spring-break-giveaway.html

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  23. Oh God, thank you. I've been peeing my pants laughing at people's reactions to this for days now. You'd think Katie Holmes had smeared her in jam and sent her into a room full of angry wasps. I mean yeah, most kids have outgrown/been weaned off pacifiers by that age but it's hardly going to turn the kid into a serial killer.

    Secretly I would like MORE four year olds to be issued with pacifiers. Man, they're loud. :)

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  24. hahaha sorry. I'm totally a kidless crazy. but I hold my nose up high with all the certificates, educations, and parenting classes :) I'm a complete kidless crazy snob. I'm sure all of it will go out the window when I actually have kids.

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  25. Yes, don't we all have enough of our own problems to tackle? It's none of our business if that child sucks a paci at age 5 or 55.

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  26. Those people who make judgment about other parents? Probably bored or envious. I completely agree with you - stick to your own problems, and unless you see something seriously wrong, leave alone. Thank you for writing this!

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  27. As soon as I saw that pic,I knew people would flip out. If no one's getting hurt, people need to f$%* off!

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  28. I sucked my thumb until I was 8. When she's ready to lose the paci, she'll lose it. Until then, not really anything the rest of us need to concern ourselves with. I feel guilty over the fact that my youngest is 18 months and still using one, so your post made me feel better about that. Thank you.

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  29. The Crazies probably don't realise that they MAKE Suri need the paci by following her every move.

    I completely agree with you - we're not the parents, we don't know what's really going on. :)

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  30. I'm so with you. And I know anytime I judge another parent, it's going to come back and bite me in the behind. We need to love and support each other!

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  31. Great post!

    I knew that picture was going to cause a ton of craziness as soon as I saw it.

    My oldest had a pacifier til she was 4. She loved it and it helped her calm down when she was upset. She said goodbye to it when she was ready. Yes, she ended up with braces, and paying for it wasn't the highlight of my year, but I could have cared less what anyone else thought.

    Now, my youngest (at 5) still has a gross, stringy blanket that she sleeps with and snuggles as soon as she gets home from school. Once again, why would I take it from her if it makes her feel safe?

    It bugs me inwardly when well meaning people suggest I take it from her.

    My mom always said, "Trust me, they won't walk down the ailse with it." And really, have you ever seen a bride (or groom)walking down the aisle carrying a blankie or sucking a pacifier?

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  32. I agree with you! I mean honestly, there are more things people should be worried about other than Suri Cruise wearing high heel shoes, or having a binky in her mouth.

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  33. High-FIVE to you!

    The Crazies drive me nuts too!

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  34. you go, girl. i pretty much do what i want and the crazies can suck it.

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  35. With a dad like hers, LOL mostly kidding here, she needs something to soothe her. LMAO.

    I agree, busy body parents need to get a life and mind their own once they find it.

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  36. I couldn't care less about Suri, though I do think the photo would be even more *awesome* if she was wearing heels like she often does, while sucking on a paci. :)

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  37. i'm with you. if the kid wants to eat dirt, wear high heels, flashing lights, and a paci, so be it.

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  38. My son sucked on his pacifier well into his 4th year -- we had to get him off it because he fell, and for his front teeth to tighten back up, the dentist said he couldn't use it. TORTURE!!
    BY the way, it was also our dentist who said not to worry about pacifier sucking, as their teeth will correct themselves. So much worrying, at the sake of our own sanity. Who wants a perfect child anyway? Boring.

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  39. I think it's a CUTE picture! And who cares, anyway? I'm with you - if it isn't your kid, don't bother!

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  40. I completely agree! I gave up long ago trying to please the Crazies. I dont believe in trying to fit our kids into someone else's mold. Its hard enough just being a parent. My youngest is 3 and still has her pacifier at night and during naps and still isnt potty trained. Im quite sure her teeth will survive the paci and she wont be wearing a diaper as a teen

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  41. Very well said. I can't wait to have my baby so I can be judged and have unwanted advice thrown at me. Gotta love the Crazies.

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  42. Amen. The world would be a far pleasanter place if the 'busy bodies' would mind their own durn business.

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  43. Here I was thinking the Cruises were freaks, but HOLY SHIT, you circumcised your own son?!?!

    Why didn't you get the doc to do that?

    Trying to save a copay?

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  44. Thank you Amber! I couldn't have said it better myself. Worry about your own kids and let me do what I do with mine. I too breastfed both kids. But it was fine if I didn't want to. I used cloth diapers because the other kind weren't nearly as good 44 years ago. My kids sucked their thumbs and watched Creature Features every Saturday night in bed with mom. So call CPS. They loved scary movies even when they were 3.

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  45. Suri has her mother's eyes.
    We HAVE to judge her!
    It's Tom's kid!

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  46. I agree. People are so crazy! Who cares if she has a paci at almost 5? I don't. She looks healthy and I'm sure she is cared for and loved... end of story for me.

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  47. I love the label "crazies",plenty of them around too.



    heres a friends encounter with a crazy
    out jogging with toddler in the pram, toddler coughed herself awake.Mum stops and offers her a drink. A middle aged lady on a nearby park bench asks "You have baby in there?" .... "Yes" woman walks over and starts with "She need doctor". mum explained that she had seen a doctor and she'd be fine but woman insisted "No, she sick, she need doctor" mum replies, "She saw a doctor yesterday, she just has croup, its a virus, she will be fine" "No you need to taker,take her to doctor" " you are really offending me by saying that I don't look after my daughter, she saw a doctor yesterday morning but there is nothing more to do and she will be ok" "I dont think so"...which is when mum walks away rather than slap a strange lady in the face....



    Suri's dummy will be talkback radio fodder in Australia...where crazies live over here.
    Should I take a peek at the mummy blogs today???

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  48. OMG, I love it. We went on a trip with my brother, his wife and they drug along their 8 month old---to Australia. She pitched a fit when they didn't have organic unprocessed baby food, only Gerber. I never laughed so hard in my life when the clerk stared at her and said, "Yeah, cuz like Geber's been killing kids for like 100 years mate..." To this day, my sister-in-law drives me nuts...

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  49. I am clapping b/c you are so right on.

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  50. yes to you! <3

    anyways, circumcision is normal in my country... and i don't know why it is so upsetting to others. ?!

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  51. Brava!!!

    And so true about non-parents who like to give advice. THAT makes me crazy.

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  52. I'm all about being convinced about my choices for my child, but my choices surely won't work for everyone. The paci thing bothers me, but honestly that's their life and I'm too damn busy to get torqued out of shape about it. . .

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  53. What in the hell is a Suri?
    Hey if a soother keeps a kid quiet, im all for it ;)

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  54. Although I don't agree on a kid who's almost 5 sucking on a pacifier, it kind of makes me feel good because this little kid seems to be growing up to fast with her high heels and $20 lipsticks. She's a kid for cripes sakes! Oh wait. Does that mean I sound like one of those crazy people? Never mind. Forget what I just said.

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  55. And have they thought that maybe she happened to be caught by photographers goofing around? My 2 girls found an old pacifier and immediately wanted to use it all the time. They would run around the house with it in their mouth.

    Seriously, people need to back off

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  56. Oh, I would so anger the crazies! Not only did I do a combination of bottle and breastfeeding from birth with all three of my kids, but I proudly use disposible diapers, buy jarred baby food, use bumper pads in their cribs, AND, worst of all? I had a walker with wheels on it that I used for all three of them, banned or not (they are illegal in Canada).

    Thanks for telling it like it is, I would love to tell so many people who have given me grief over my choices to shove it up their *ss.

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  57. I AGREE!! The PARENTS are the parents, and therefore make the decisions. Everyone else can just deal.

    My 5 year old niece still sucks her thumb! Not much different than a pacifier but nobody gets their panties in a wad about that.

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  58. Awesome post. The crazies will be crazies.... and if there weren't crazies, we'd have nobody to call crazy!!!

    And, gasp, we may even be called the crazies :)

    1000000000000% agree with you girl!

    -Jess
    [nileandjess.wordpress.com]

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  59. Amen.

    And if that's the craziest thing Suri is up to she doing pretty well considering.

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  60. I wanted to use cloth diapers and I do make my own baby food. Wanted to breastfeed. That didn't work out.. But the point is that I did those things for me and my kid, not so I could stomp around judging and giving unnecessary advice. Ech..I hate when people presume that what I'm doing is wrong. Seriously...Step back.

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  61. Im laughing! just had to let you know... and Im a new follower now after reading this, i love it :P

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  62. ha funny. I am a single parent. I got my son a puppy read - super high energy almost 100 lb dog now - so we go to the dog park. my son plays in the sand that YES I KNOW ALL THE DOGS PEE IN...but for some reason everyone there thinks I don't know. the other day this lady (who brought subway food in to eat and then kept pushing all the dogs away from her, hello the sign out there says no outside food!) was all oh my gosh, i was talking to someone the other day and we were discussing how the dogs pee in the sand and I thought i should tell you because maybe you don't know.

    I was all "yeah I know what are you gonna do" right before she did that some guy told me it was probably building up my son's immune system. you know, if only they could be home with me when, disgustingly, tonight I turned around and he was dunking his shirt in the pooped and peed in toilet he was sitting on and when I screamed in disgust and went to get him off he tried to rub his hands on me and cackled evilly...seriously I am not worried about some dog pee...more like his mental health! or physical wellbeing if he tries to rub poop on me again...blech! ;)

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  63. You are so funny. The "crazies" do have Wayyyy too much to say! Nothing like being judged when your doing what you think is best.

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  64. o.m.g. I have been MIA from internet-land for a too long, but so happy that THIS is the post that welcomes me back. thankyouthankyouthankyou The crazies.... lol, don't even get me started!

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