Monday, March 21, 2011

It's Been A Long Four Years...

Sometime four years ago...


“Tom, she won’t stop crying. I’ve fed her, I’ve burped her, I’ve changed her, I’ve sang to her, which seemed to make her even more infuriated. I don’t know what else to do! Did we get a broken baby? I thought girls were supposed to be dainty and quiet! I’m so exhausted, I feel like I’m never going to sleep ag-ai-ai-ai-ain.” And then I burst into hysterical tears and waited for Tom to calm me down, to tell me that everything was going to be okay.

“Um,” an unfamiliar voice said. “I think you have the wrong number.”

What? I glanced down at the phone display and saw that I had indeed dialed the wrong number. It was probably because everything was starting to blur together. I don’t do well when I don’t get adequate sleep. And now I had just poured my soul to a complete stranger.

“I’m sure your baby isn’t broken,” he said before hanging up.

I sniffled and stared at Natalie, who was screeching angrily beside me. I had just given birth a few days before and all she seemed to do was cry. Tom had to go into work and my Mom had come to help at least, but my nerves were still frazzled. My first baby, Tommy, hadn’t acted like this. He was a content baby. I assumed Natalie would be content as well.

Ha.

Everything seemed to piss her off.

An adorable bunny hat?



She hated it.

Really cute pink hat?



She hated it.

Comfortable carseat complete with visually pleasing hanging toys?



She hated it.

An adorable snowsuit from Old Navy?



She hated it.

Ultra adorable headband with matching dress?



Oh yeah. She HATED it.

She hated her crib, she hated her bouncer, she hated my breasts and was mad at the right one for many months so I constantly looked lopsided, and I swear she wasn’t fond of me either. She seemed to glare at me with this look that said, “I can’t believe my life is entrusted to someone like YOU.”

I could tell when a crying fit would start. She’d get a look on her face, this, “Hey, I’m pissed off and am going to let the entire house know it,” look.





And then she’d cry. And cry. AND CRY.

How I didn’t lose my mind is beyond me. I couldn’t even have caffeine! Caffeine translated to gross milk for Natalie and she refused to breastfeed if I had any. I swear she knew how to torture me early on. It was like she was keeping a mental checklist titled Ways To Torture This Person Called Mommy: Take away caffeine (check), take away her sleep (check), constantly cry to make her head ache (check), spit up all over the place (check), wail hysterically the second she steps into the shower (check)....

Mercifully, right around the time when I was tempted to bundle Natalie and all her things up and return her to the hospital, she began to calm down.

Not all the way, mind you.

But enough so that I was able to get some sleep.

And then she turned one and everything was perfect.



I’m kidding.

She still carried on when she was pissed.

She still carries on to this day.

Natalie turned 4 on Saturday. And while she’s mellowed out a lot, she definitely knows what she likes and doesn’t like.

We’ve come a long way from those long crying jags.

I’ve got to say, she kept life interesting.

And still does.

Happy fourth birthday, Natalie.



Who still gives me looks that say, “I can’t believe my life is entrusted to someone like YOU.”

63 comments:

  1. It's so hard when a baby cries all the time. Glad you didn't return her, though. And pouring your heart out to a wrong number is hilarious, though maybe not at the time. She's adorable in her new (Gymboree?) outfit. Happy Birthday, Natalie.

    ReplyDelete
  2. So are all her baby pictures of her crying?

    Kidding.

    I hope she had the best Birthday. She sure is one special little girl.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Funniest post I have read in some time. Hope she has a great birthday. She does have that little look down pat, doesn't she?

    ReplyDelete
  4. that was great :) You have to remember this post for her 21st birthday !!! paybacks a bitch hahaha

    She is gorgeous though, love the 1yr photo so adorable and the now photo she is so cute :)

    still laughing...Im sure your babys not broken LOL

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh, the joy of life with a collicky baby! My second child was much the same. You could set your watch by him. He was lovely in the morning and early afternoon, but like storm clouds gathering in the west, you could see the storm a-brewing and by 4:00 p.m., all hell would break loose. Nothing could console that child - not me, not toys, not dad, not big brother, not grandma, not even the dog - well, once the dog - but Kita only laid still long enough to let Ethan snuggle up next to him ONCE. And thankfully, when we hit a year, he seemingly, magically transformed into a "normal" kid!

    ReplyDelete
  6. ok - so that was hysterical! lOL - Happy birthday to the big girl :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Her birthday outfit is adorable!! And I know you probably don't but I love all those crying pictures- even then she was cute! :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. My son was like that...I called my husband one afternoon after a day of crying (baby and me) and told him how I understood how crazy people could smother their kids with pillows...he came right home!

    ReplyDelete
  9. The girl has spunk! Happy Birthday to her. My baby girl will be 34 this year and I still tell her that had she been my first, she would have been my last! She is still a force to be reckoned with. She met her match almost 7 years ago when she had her little boy. Always remember that one day she will have a child that will drive her nuts, too.

    ReplyDelete
  10. awww happy birthday to natalie.

    i got a broken baby too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Maybe it's "second child syndrome". I tell my daughter the same as Kathy's Klothesline. If I'd had her first I'd have had her last! My son was a dream, my daughter cried for 6 months straight, morning, noon and night. If I could have returned her I would have!

    Now 7, she still makes me crazy but she cracks me up every day and I love her to pieces but I do hope every day that she has a kid just like her!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well it's a darn good thing she's so cute! Or else you MAY have returned her. Glad you made it through and you have a spunky, cute 4 yr. old in the crying babies stead. My daughter was so opposite. Calmest, CALMEST, sweetest baby sould ever. Then, she turned 18 months old and turned into the sassiest, spit fire there ever was. It's wierd. But, I'm pretty sure I'd take the calm baby turning into a booger over the crying baby.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Mine started doing that too, and we got her some Zantac for reflux and BAM! New baby! ;)
    I'm glad she mellowed out (some) for you.
    Happy Birthday Natalie!

    ReplyDelete
  14. She's come a long way, baby!

    Maybe she didn't want to wear ANYTHING the first year of her life!

    ReplyDelete
  15. She's a cutie! Crying or not! :o)

    Happy Birthday Natalie!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Happy 4th Natalie!!! You are an amazing little girl :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. oh my goodness. I loved this post. Happy belated birthday to your "sweet" Natalie! :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. My first baby was the difficult one so I felt very justified in having an easy second baby...hardly cried, slept thru the night by the time she was a month old, never gave me a lick of trouble. Then she turned 3 and discovered the power of the temper tantrum...on a miserable rainy day in what resulted in us needing to call a taxi, but that's another story. She's 18 now and still knows how to make us miserable to get her own way. :/

    ReplyDelete
  19. Happy Birthday to both of you. We're the ones who go through all that hard work and pain - where are OUR presents and cake?!

    ReplyDelete
  20. She is gorgeous, and so sweet. Boy do I remember those moments of actually listening when Mooch used to say, "Let's take her back to the hospital, Mommy"

    ReplyDelete
  21. Happy birthday to your cute girl! Mine turns four today - Glad there's less crying :)

    ReplyDelete
  22. oh my!
    oh natalie...

    lol... happy happy birthday natalie!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Loved the crying pictures and the walk down memory lane. It's amazing how fast time flies.

    My little guy turns one in just ten short days, and I've been feeling nostalgic lately.

    Happy Birthday, Natalie!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Seriously, best baby pictures, ever!

    Happiest Birthday, Natalie~

    ReplyDelete
  25. Oh, I'm cracking up at calling the wrong number! And those crying pics- yup, I had one like that, too.

    She is adorable, though.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh man, I love the crying pictures. Does that make me mean???

    I had one (or three) cryers. Not exactly sure how I managed to tune it out.

    Happy birthday to your little girlie. She sure looks happy and smiley now. :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. I was always amazed that you had to pass a test to drive, register to vote and yet do NOTHING other than figure out a car seat to bring your baby home.

    This totally sounds like the first year of my son's life. Except Natalie is waaaaay cuter! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  28. Love the pictures - she was / is very cute despite all the "challenging" times! Happy Birthday to her.

    ReplyDelete
  29. I love that you have all those screaming pictures to remember the moments. My husband refuses to have "bad" pictures. If the kids look pissed off or are about to cry I'm supposed to delete them.

    Happy Birthday Natalie!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Happy birthday Natalie!

    Embrace the fact that she is a strong willed child. THAT IS NOT A BAD THING EITHER! My son is the same way and I would rather have him with his own mind/opinions than a cookie cutter follower.

    He's 17 now and it's still "hard," but I know God gave me him for a specific reason/purpose.

    I haven't figure out "what" that purpose is YET...but I'll be sure to let you know when I do. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  31. Awwwwwww! Happy Birthday Natalie! What a cutie!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Happy Birthday Natalie! Good thing she wasn't your first or she may be an only child like mine!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Happy Birthday Natalie! I loved (and can TOTALLY relate) to this post!! Hilarious. So glad you "survived" those years so you could tell the tale.... :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. She looks a LTO cuter when she isn't crying.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oh my gosh this is a brilliant post!! You are so funny!! Love the pics. Love the "broken baby." Love the wrong number. Love it all!!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Happy, happy birthday to that cute little girl!

    I can so relate and feel your pain. Mine had colic. And I can still remember it clearly SIXTEEN YEARS LATER! Hmmm, maybe that's why we only had one.....

    ReplyDelete
  37. Now you know why Tigers eat their young.

    Happy Birthday to your cute little screaming meme.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I love the way you told her story, but you poor thing. LOL.
    Happy 4th Birthday Natalie!!!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Happy Birthday to her!!! (Clearly you and Natalie hadn't figured out about running into the house back then.)

    ReplyDelete
  40. Happy birthday to your little girl! :D She's adorable! I've been through those crying spells too. I remember seeing the sun rising outside my window and realizing that I was still carrying my son and trying to get him to sleep after he woke up at 3AM. I changed my lullaby song to something like this - "Sleep my darling baby. Mommy is not far away. And if you don't sleep, I'll throw in the bin...la la la." ;-) (He is a happy and healthy 8 year old now and is much too heavy and precious to throw out now.) ;-D

    ReplyDelete
  41. She is just too cute.

    Also, I think she looks just like Tom in that last picture!

    We should all be so lucky as to have such a cute birthday outfit... only I don't think I want mine to say my age.

    ReplyDelete
  42. My son was the SAME way. He got magically better around 5 months old. I am so scared of baby #2 taking after him--I swear I have PTSD from that period.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Lol! That post was hilarious. And a little scary, as I'm about to become a first time mother and never thought for a minute she wouldn't be anything but perfect. :)kidding a little bit, but Still I didn't really consider the kind of scenario you just described, and I'm glad she calmed down a bit.

    Btw she is adorable! Love that pic of her right before she is about to cry and let the whole house know. :)

    ReplyDelete
  44. OMG, great post, lol! Loved all the crying pictures and HELLO! the first year picture is ridiculously adorable! Well, so is the 4 year old one actually. That girl is photogenic, even when she is crying! Happy Birthday Natalie!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Sounds like my first born...I barely remember a time she wasnt crying in her first year of life! Happy birthday to Natalie!

    ReplyDelete
  46. This is such a cute post. Being a mother must be the hardest thing in the world. I can't imagine what it must feel like in those early days.

    On the plus side, your daughter will always be assertive and probably grow up to be a strong woman. :) Happy Birthday!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Wow, she sounds JUST LIKE my daughter....who cried pretty much for the first year of her life about everything.

    I totally love that last picture of her...as if she knows a fantastic secret but has no inclination to share it with you at all!!!

    Happy 4th birthday to your baby girl!!!

    ReplyDelete
  48. A very joyful birthday I wish for Natalie ! She looks adorably cute! Bunny cap is making her look even more cuter!
    What's Your Parenting Style?
    Check out what your parenting quotient is.
    http://www.3smartcubes.com/pages/tests/parentingstyle/parentingstyle_instructions.asp

    ReplyDelete
  49. LOL - my son had moments like that and when he does now (10 years old) ... I simply sigh and say ..."the drama unfolds..." He hates when I say that.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Happy birthday to your (mostly) sweet Natalie!

    ReplyDelete
  51. That sixth photo down just about killed me, I laughed so hard. That face! Happy birthday Natalie and didn't you turn out cute!

    ReplyDelete
  52. I know I say this to every post but I LOVE your blog. I am so happy that I have finally found someone who writes and feels the way I do. (Although you're much better at it lol) I just LOVE your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  53. She's so damn cute, though. The cute ones like her get away with it. Trust me. I've got a son whose cuteness is the curse of the devil.

    The. Devil.

    Happy 4th, Natalie!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Ohhh goodness she is CUTE! Good thing because that probably helped save her when she was a teeny-tiny. LOL. I think it is hilarious that you took so many crying pictures. I totally would have done that too. Those dimples are adorable!

    ReplyDelete
  55. what a darling beauty she is :)

    ReplyDelete
  56. I remember reading all those entries way back when. You know, back before you were a famous blogger with 62 comments on an entry!! :p

    ReplyDelete
  57. hahahha, I can't even tell you how much these pictures are making me laugh! I love the two super up close ones, those facial expressions are priceless!! She is such a beautiful little girl! I was a colicky (spelling?) baby, and the only thing that would make me stop crying was if my parents would hold me with my face downwards looking at the groud, then I would stop crying. haha who knows why.
    Happy Birthday to your sweet little girl!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment!

Share This

 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...