Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I'm Not A Heathen

I’m not good with striking up a conversation with someone I don’t know. I can be quite shy. I wish I could walk up to any group and start talking. But no.

My friend Amanda invited me to a neighborhood BBQ and at first I was hesitant. Neighborhood BBQ=conversing with people that I didn’t know. Still. I was an adult. I had to get used to this sort of thing. Especially if Tom moves up in the ranks. If he gets really important, he has to start showing up at more events and this means I have to go too. Crap, this means I need to start walking in heels better….going careening into walls would NOT look good. And suppose I do get a book published? I might have to go to book signings. So yes, I went.

At the BBQ (in sneakers), I made myself say hello. I flashed a smile and hoped that I didn’t have chips stuck between my teeth. Many times after I said hello I found people asked, “What church do you go to?”

Um.

I blinked at them. “I don’t go to church,” I admitted.

“Heathen!” one lady shouted.

Well. Not really.

I spoke briefly to another couple. They were Mormon. I immediately thought of Big Love.

Another lady couldn’t believe I was still here when I said my husband was in Korea.

“Why are you here then?” she asked.

“Well, one night, long ago my parents—”

“No, I mean, why did you stay? Why didn’t you go live with your parents?”

Ahh. The famous question. I always have to bite my tongue to keep from saying, “Because I’m 28.” That could be construed as rude though. It would mean that I looked down on those who do go home. And I don’t. It’s just not for me. I figure I can handle things on my own just fine.

And also, I like my space.

“I like my space,” I informed the woman.

She said that she couldn’t have stayed and done it on her own.

“It hasn’t been so bad. It gives me a lot of blog fodder,” I said.

It was like I had just flashed my bra at her. The look she gave me was like, “What is this blog that you speak of? And am I going to be IN it.” (As it turns out, yes.)

I need to go to a blog conference where people know all about fodder. Granted, this would mean I’d have to face my fears and talk to people I don’t know.

I figure if Charlie Sheen can do it, I can do it.

Then again, he did get booed during a show.

Still. I’d like to consider myself saner than Charlie Sheen.

Somewhat.

46 comments:

  1. You're definitely saner than Charlie Sheen. Don't forget he's also got plenty of courage, in both liquid and probably powdered form to help him out.

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  2. Surely the secret is not to tell people they are blog fodder until they read the blog. And I think most people are saner than Charlie Sheen.

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  3. Why on earth do people expect mothers to run home to their parents' house if the father is out of town? I get this all the time when Daddio goes out of town for work. Why do I need to go home? I'm a responsible adult who can take care of my own kids and house. Sheesh! I just don't understand that. Nor do I understand Charlie Sheen.

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  4. I am confused at the going home question.. I don't think I know anyone who goes home to their parents when their significant other is overseas. That makes no sense.. maybe it's a regional thing where you live? Not looking down on others who do it, but I'm confused why people think you SHOULD.

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  5. I'm Mormon, and Big Love is as far from Mormons as you can get!

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  6. i am really laughing over this...
    but yea.. kinda confused too, on why some would think you'd HAVE TO go home to your parents (not that it's bad)... but still...

    i go to church.. but i promise, i don't think your a heathern.. lol

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  7. Parties attended by silly people = lots of blog fodder.

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  8. I'm not good around new people either. I think that's why I love "blogging land" so much.

    I don't blame you, I'm not sure if I would have moved home either.

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  9. I don't go to church either and I find blog fodder in everything and everyone around me. I sometimes don't share my blog with friends because I don't want them to think I mock them LOL

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  10. Ugh. I'm terrible at small talk.

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  11. Keep wearing flats - no need for heels, you can be sexy short too.

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  12. so, you didn't move home... ya' heathen!!

    Seriously, I don't understand that at all. I live in a small southern town with 2 or 3 churches on every block. I can only imagine how you felt at the BBQ.

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  13. I love your response real or not! People are too nosy! I'm awful at small talk .....blogging friendships are much easier!

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  14. Back to my parents is the LAST place I'd ever hightail it to. I think I may have vomitted a little at the thought. ((shudder))

    I'm taking care of the blogging and the church thing this fall by going to a convention for Christian women bloggers. I'm excited and nervous to see what it's going to be like. There are going to be a lot of bigger names there. What's a little peon like me doing??

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  15. "Somewhat"

    *laffs*

    More like a whole bunch...

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  16. I love blog fodder. And I love that people are blog dumb. And you are definitely 98.6% saner than Charlie Sheen, in my opinion.

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  17. This made me giggle. I'm awesome at awkward small talk because I'm super awkward. For real. I can make even the most innocent of conversations with strangers odd- it's a gift.

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  18. I warn people that they'll be in my blog! I'm usually with my friend when I whip out my phone and say "I need to take a picture for my blog!" She kind of expects it now...

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  19. But you would know everyone at a blogging conference b/c we all know you. :)

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  20. I don't go to church either. And I always feel awkward when new people ask where I go to church.
    None of their damn business! LOL!

    I'm not comfortable talking with new people. I find it best just to make myself do it, threw myself into the situation and not over think it.

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  21. I was walking down the street last week and two girls approached me and said they were lost. I gave them directions and then one says, "What are your feeling about Jesus Christ, your personal savior?"
    Umm.
    "Well actually, I'm pagan - so I celebrate all the Gods and Goddesses. What are your thoughts on Hestia, Goddess of the hearth?"
    ;-)

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  22. Bravo for going and attempting to mingle. People give us the dropped jaw blank stare kind of look when we tell them we don't go to church. (I do bible studies at friend's houses but don't attend church on a regular basis). My husband is agnostic.
    And yes, you are 100% saner than Charlie Sheen, the man's a fruit loop.

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  23. I don't mind talking to new people if I know I'm probably not going to have to speak to them again...it becomes an adventure of sorts...you can be whomever you want =) THEN if you do see them again later on down the road you blame it on your 'twin' haha =) just kidding...I don't do this...often lol

    Every time I meet a Mormon I think of Big Love even though I know it isn't really like that =)

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  24. Next time someone asks what Church you go to, you could respond "The 24-Hour Church of Elvis." because it's a real church! It's here in Portland, OR. and it's bizarre!! so even though you don't live here, I think that would be a hilarious response to that question!!!

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  25. God. I hate it when people ask what church you go to. I'm a recovering mormon, and it drives me nuts.

    I also love to say Blog Fodder and people will look at you all weird. I agree, I need to just hang out with fellow bloggers.

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  26. hahaha - niiiice. Good for you for standing on your own. You should be proud.

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  27. Going to live with parents?! Ugh. I too would never do that. Seriously, I'm an adult. Like were you supposed to put all your stuff in storage and pull your kids out of school and everything? Weird.

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  28. That's the only reason I ever go anywhere - looking for blog fodder. And going home to live with parents? WTH? I lived there for 18 years why would I go back?

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  29. Amber, I am a total pagan. Still, I resent the "church' questions. And at 28, you are a grown woman and capable of living on your own and taking care of your family. What a twit that woman was! i hate going to things where I have to make conversation with strangers. I tend to alienate people without even trying. Okay, sometimes I do try.

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  30. To me, in this day and age, asking "What church do you go to" is along the lines of "What birth control do you use"? That's a personal question - not everyone worships their god in a building.

    Oh, and I LOVE blog fodder. I keep hoping my husband or friends do something stupid so I could write about it. Fortunately, they don't let me down!

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  31. I get asked by a lot of other wives where I go to church. I've found that being Catholic seems to be a little controversial, so I'm probably as bad as a heathen:)

    I visit my family a lot when my husband is deployed and I'm off work, but I also don't move home, although I may stay longer for things like Christmas holidays.

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  32. Girl you have been AH-MAZING while Tom is in Korea. Don't let anyone make you feel any different.

    I have one tip though- don't reveal you have a blog to anyone you might run into in real life unless you're REALLY sure about them. It just makes for all kinds of crazy and censorship. Go ahead- you can ask me how I know.

    And my social skills- suck. I like my friends in my computer, but when it comes to face-to face stuff...ugh.

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  33. Ugh. I hear you. Small talk eats my soul. Slowly.

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  34. Lol at Samantha Sotto-Yambao, I couldn't have said it better!

    I hate going to things like that too and trying to make conversation. I suck at it!

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  35. This is why I rarely reveal to people I have a blog - THAT reaction. And also "why didn't you go live with your parents?"... seriously? Although, you would get your meals cooked.... ;-)

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  36. Its because you don't have Tiger Blood.

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  37. Im no good at these types of get togethers either...people are so strange!

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  38. The beauty of blog conferences is that people don't look at you like you are crazy when you say "blog."

    And if you've read each other's blogs, you don't have to have that awkward small talk.

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  39. Mmmm fodder.....as I am knew to Blogging I am going to presume this is like a food source for blogging...

    Love your style of writing!

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  40. I cant believe people ask you why you didnt go home to your parents. ? What an odd question. I figure if they can be rude and ask stupid questions, its ok to be rude back. Just smile when you do it. =)

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  41. Do people usually go live with thier parents? That is weird to me, i wouldn't. I'd defintiely want my own space too.

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  42. Cracking up at Julie - because I remember the whole drama about someone freaking out after realizing that THEY were the anonymous person she was blogging about :)

    But love that the lady showed up in your blog after the look she gave you!

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  43. I hate people. Plain and simple. I wouldn't have gone!

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  44. nonbloggers really do not understand blogging. it's like its own world.

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  45. I choose no parents too. My Husband is definitly not gone, gone like your Hubs but he travels for his work. I get the parents question all the time. The church question...hmmm. That's funny to me. People still ask that?

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  46. I am bewildered that someone would ask you what church you go to ... I guess I don't live in that world.

    I was thinking, though: you might get some even better blog fodder if you lived at home ... at 28 ... with 2 kids ... and grandparents ... and pets ... under one roof? But of course, it might make you crazier than Charlie Sheen. So good for you for keeping your sanity.

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