Look, I know I called you some bad names. I know I probably complained about your crazy winds and the fact that your wildlife liked to eat my grass. But really, you weren’t a bad state at all. Your roads were easy to drive on, you had most of my favorite stores (Old Navy never arrived but you are forgiven since Kohls was built a year after I got there.)
I didn’t mind your snow when it didn’t get out of control. I did not like it when we were snowed into the house. That was a little extreme, as though you were like, “Haha, look what I can do!”
I’ll even miss Glen, the antelope who loved to eat the tree I attempted to keep alive in my yard (it didn’t work. Glen ate it.) I won’t, however, miss Glen’s offerings (re: poop) that he loved to leave all over the driveway.
You’ve been good to me for the four years we were there and I thank you. Perhaps one day we’ll return for a visit.
Take care of yourself. A suggestion though: you might want to start getting warm in May. It’s not nice to tease your residents and be 70 one day and then 40 the next. By May, that nonsense should be over. I hear that even now you’ve been rather chilly. Please get some lessons from California, Wyoming. She’ll teach you all about weather.
I will miss you. My daughter was born in your state so I’ll always have that even though your nurses promised me a Popsicle while I was in labor and never brought me one. That was mean.
Goodbye for now.