Finally. It’s December. The month of Christmas. The month where it’s finally appropriate for stores to be playing Christmas music.
I decided to make a list on what NOT to do for the holidays.
10. Don’t be offended when people say Merry Christmas. If you don’t believe, fine, but for goodness sakes, it’s a phrase.
9. Don’t block the toy aisles with your cart. I realize those areas are going to be crazy but keep your cart to the side so people can pass.
8. Don’t wear tacky Christmas sweaters...unless you’re going to a tacky Christmas sweater party.
7. Don’t prolong Christmas carols. I’m talking to you Christina Aguilara and Jennifer Hudson. It’s Silent Night. Not Siiiiiiiiiiiiillllllllleeennnttttt Nnnnnnnniiiiiiigggghhhhhtttttt. Just sing it already.
6. Don’t expect to find the Leapfrog Explorer Learning Tablet in stores or online. It seems to be sold out everywhere.
5. Don’t eat your weight in holiday treats. Oh wait, I’ve already done this. Shoot.
4. Don’t make fun of the way I wrap presents. I know. I suck.
3. Don’t force me to watch It’s A Wonderful Life. I don’t like it. But before you assume I’m not a fan of “old” movies, I absolutely love Miracle on 34th Street.
2. Don’t threaten to call Santa when the kids are acting up and not have a backup plan when one kid goes, “Prove it. Call Santa then.”
1. Don’t give fruit cake as a gift unless you know the recipient likes it. Most people think it tastes like fart.