Thursday, February 16, 2012

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Mystery Chocolates

It’s happened to the best of us.

You reach over to grab one, pop it in your mouth and…ew…yuck…what the living POO is it?

Yup.

You’ve just consumed the mystery chocolate.

Or the one flavor you detest.

I received a box of chocolates for Valentine’s Day. None of the chocolates were labeled. I frowned at the chocolates and thought, “Why Russell Stover, why?”

One day I was over at a woman’s house and she offered me a chocolate. I wasn’t about to turn down chocolate so I picked one that looked safe. I stuck it in my mouth and wished that I hadn’t.

It was coffee flavored.

I hate coffee.

This woman wasn’t a close friend so I couldn’t spit the brown mash into my palm. I didn’t want to alarm her and run into the bathroom. So I had to endure the coffee.

“Is everything okay?” the woman asked kindly. She noticed my pinched expression and either thought that I had to A) poo or B) was wearing a thong.

“Yup,” I lied. I even gave a thumbs up sign and forced the chocolate down my throat. The coffee taste lingered and I longed to scrape my tongue off.

Had the chocolates been labeled, I’d have avoided the coffee flavor.

This was why I stared at the Russell Stover chocolates worriedly. I always seem to pick the coffee ones. Thankfully it seems that Russell Stover doesn’t make coffee ones. But they still do mystery ones.

Seriously, how HARD is it for them to include a “hey, these are the chocolates in your box!” card? Other companies do it! Just writing, “Assorted chocolates” on the box isn’t enough. What KIND of assorted chocolates ARE they, Russell Stover?

Naturally, I bit into a mystery chocolate. It was a brown mash of….I don’t know? Maybe it was maple, maybe it was a type of nougat? I ate it anyway because A) even though it was mystery chocolate, it wasn’t exactly BAD B) it wasn’t coffee flavored and C) I’m PMSing.

So please.

In the future, chocolate companies, label your candies.

Let us know what is in the mystery chocolates.

And let us avoid the coffee ones.

26 comments:

  1. I totally agree.. . except, the coffee flavored ones are my favorite. :o)

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  2. Ew, I hate coffee flavored anything - which is saying a lot because I adore chocolate!

    I understand the frustration of mystery chocolates. That's why when I get a box, there's almost always a teeny bite taken out of each one ... hehe.

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  3. Whitman Sampler all the way. Always labeled. ;)

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  4. hahaha I like the mystery chocolate but then again I've never met a chocolate I didn't like!

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  5. I'd happily gobble up the coffee ones for you, send them my way! :)

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  6. there should be a law that forces the makers to label the chocolates. I hate to waste chocolate!

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  7. Most of the time I pinch my chocolates to see what's inside. I always end up with coconut and I hate it!

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  8. I completely agree. I am not a fan of the mystery choc box. They used to put the labels in the box and now they don't. Why the change? Does it cost too much time, money and energy to fill it out? I imagine they mass market these boxes, so doing a label would be easier. Then again, I did see The Vow and they have a fabulous piece in the movie about mystery choc.

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  9. I try to stick to just the boxes of chocolate caramels. Those are all good. :)

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  10. Oh, I'm with you. Some of those chocolates are so nasty I wonder how the company even stays in business.

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  11. Okay, the best part of getting a box of chocolates is that they're labeled! What's the point otherwise?

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  12. OH I hate when they aren't labeled too. Total BS.

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  13. I thought Russel Stover put the "maps" as I call them in their boxes. I worked at one of their plants for about a month. It was torture and heaven at the same time.

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  14. Man I hate the mystery chocolates!!!
    But here's a tip for you...
    NEVER EVER try the Rednecks Box of Chocolates...
    cause you don't want to get the Squirrel Chocolate...
    Seriously!!

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  15. I'm with you, I need chocolate labeling. I'm not a fan of the ones with fruit in them and I always seem to pick that one.

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  16. I gave a valentine's box to each of my two kiddos. Our 6 yr old li'l princess took one out of the box...I was in the kitchen at the time. She came to me, waving it in the air. It was an orange cream. She said, "Really? REALLY?". I pointed at the trash can and explained that the candy people like to include one nasty filling in each box. Live and learn, little one. LOL.

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  17. You need to go see The Vow. They actually have a mini scene about this!! Its pretty funny.

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  18. I agree! I had a love/hate relationship with Bridge Mixture as a kid. Love chocolate, hated the ones with the goey candy in the middle or the one with the raisins.

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  19. Agreed. I don't like nuts or coconut or carmel so mystery chocolates are a big risk for me :)

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  20. I agree! Labels are an essential part of any box of chocolates. And confession, I don't bite into chocolates willy nilly like that. Ever. I grab a knife and cut them all apart until I find one I like. My husband rolls his eyes, but he's laughing, not mad, so it's okay. And if it's at someone else's house, I just say "no thank you." I'm obsessive like that. :)

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  21. When I get a box of assorted treats, I take one bite, then eat the rest if I like it, and if I don't, I leave it in the box and bring them to my father the next time I see him... Old men like them all ;p

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  22. How to eat chocolates: 1. Take one out of the box. 2. Bite into it. 3. Either finish it or give it to your husband telling him, "Here, try this, you'll love it!"
    BTW, didn't chocolates used to be identified by the types of swirls and such of the chocolate on the top?

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  23. Just eat See's, they are uncapable of making bad candy.

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  24. Can you send me the coffee ones? They're the only ones I like.

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  25. I LOVE the coffee ones! And I HATE the Nut ones or coconut ones......barf!

    Its funny because I hate drinking coffee, I wont touch it. But I love coffee flavored stuff....like candy and ice cream.

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  26. Ugh, it's even worse for me. I am actually seriously allergic to nuts, and when I eat a nutty (please excuse the pun) chocolate, ....

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