Friday, March 16, 2012

My Dear Letters

Happy Friday!

I decided to do My Dear Letters….letters I wish I could send.



Dear Natalie,

Your birthday is Monday. You aren’t getting any presents today. Sorry. Not even if you stand on your head or tell me a joke. But thank you for offering. You get them all Monday.

Signed,
I-Have-A-Comedian-For-A-Daughter,
Amber

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Dear Tommy,

Holy crap, it’s not the end of the world if you don’t find all the golden eggs in Angry Birds. Chill.

Signed,
A-Tiny-Bit-Bummed-Because-I-Never-Even-Got-ONE-Golden-Egg,
Amber

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Dear Easter Candy,

Why must you be so good. I can’t stop eating the mini Cadbury Cream eggs and Peeps.

Signed,
It-Must-Be-The-Pastels-That-Excite-Me,
Amber

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Dear St. Patrick’s Day,

Sorry, I’m not doing anything special for you. I might wear green. But I don’t make green food or make Irish dinners. Instead we’re going out for hibachi and enjoying a cook prepare our food in front of us.

Signed,
A-Really-Doesn’t-Like-Corned-Beef-Anyway,
Amber


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Dear Tom,

You’re turning 30 this year. What do you want? Help a gal out. Don’t just shrug and say, “Birthdays are no big deal to me.” HELP A GAL OUT!

Signed,
If-He-Won’t-Say-He’s-Getting-Tons-Of-Angry-Bird Stuff,
Amber

PS—Is Megan Fox for rent? Not for the nasty but to just show up at his work, hang out for a bit, and then leave?


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Dear Hawaii,

I can’t believe we’ll be there on the 26th. I am so stalking areas where Lost was filmed even though Tom is not impressed. He never liked the show. It looks like I’ll have to pretend to be ALL the characters myself then…(“Tom…look…this is the beach…okay, I’ll be Claire, you can be Charlie. Pretend to have peanut butter…where are you going? Why are you acting as though you don’t know me? Charlie? CHARLLIEEE!”)

Signed,
An-Also-Looking-Forward-To-Tropical-Drinks,
Amber

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Dear People Who Have Self-Published,

Is it easy to self-publish to a device like a Kindle so others can read? I’m tempted to do that. A couple of people mentioned it awhile back and I’m curious.

Signed,
Still-Hoping-For-An-Agent-But-Will-Try-This,
Amber

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Dear American Reunion movie, (an American Pie movie..)

I hope you are entertaining. Tom and I are going to see you since his mom will be here. Please be as good as the first three and not as awful as the made-for-DVD versions.

Signed,
Hopes-Stifler-Is-Still-Hilarious, (BANKOK!)
Amber

18 comments:

  1. I work at a school. EVERYONE is wearing green today. I am not. Bah.

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  2. I forgot to wear green to work today. So a co-worker placed a green sparkly headband with horns on them, on my head. I'm slightly worried about cooties.

    My uncle self-published his work. It's easy to self-publish if you have the $$ for it (this was paper version, before Kindle-Era) but the hard part was getting anyone to buy it. My grandfather kept about 6 boxes of his books in the basement and nobody knew until he died (insert mean snicker) so I would look into how much it costs for kindle. I would imagine it is a lot less, because no paper or ink required... its all electronic. OH DO IT!! I'd be SO excited for you!

    Regarding Easter eggs. You forgot to mention Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. *GASP!*

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  3. If you self publish, you wouldn't have to pay an agent... hmm...

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  4. My husband says the same thing about his birthday or holidays. He usually ends up getting his own gifts which works out well for everyone.

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  5. I love reading your blog! I'm going to have to borrow your idea on the letters thing, if you don't mind ;) But I can empathize with Tommy. I want to find all of the golden eggs too! LOL

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  6. Tips on self-publishing e-books!

    http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-18438_7-20010547-82/how-to-self-publish-an-ebook/

    Go for it!!!

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  7. I won't do anything for St. Patty's day either.

    Have a Cadbury egg for me. There's more carbs in those than I'm allowed in a day. (I don't really know that but I'm guessing.)

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  8. What island are you guys going to? Hawaii is absolutely amazing- you guys are going to have a blast! We spent two weeks on Maui- one week on the east side, one week on the west side (aka the touristy side). If you need suggestions on things to do let me know!

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  9. This is hysterical, as per usual. Whether you self publish or find some big guns, I will buy your book(s). Then I'll watch the TV show. Happy birthday to Natalie! It's Moochie's birthday too, so I hope both little girls have a blast. Hope you have a wonderful time in Hawaii too.

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  10. Self publishing is super easy! My 'other half' (LOL) just did it and he's pretty much the biggest procrastinator I know. The website he used makes it available a bunch of ways and eventually gets it ready for print if you want to go that route. There is also some sort of exclusive kindle thing where even if your stuff is free, there's a pot of money (from advertising maybe?).. you get a cut of that! Do it!!

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  11. I love your letters! They are too funny :)

    Those Cadburry Eggs are SO good!

    Hawaii? Lucky duck!

    Let me know how the movie is! I have been thinking I really want to see it haha.

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  12. I knew we were kindreds! LOVE LOST more than any other show EVER. I miss it so much.

    That and I used to do Dear So and So letters too. I linked them to someone or another, but I can't remember who for the life of me - they are sooooo fun!

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  13. You can always get him a ton of M&Ms

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  14. Have a fab time in Hawaii! I love all your letters :)

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  15. These are so great...short and not-so sweet. Returning the favor and saying think you for visiting me on my SITS day. I need a few more light-hearted blogs on my blog roll...hmmm..will poke around some more. Us imperfect MaMMas need to support one another.

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  16. Poor Tommy-
    Have a little compassion, Amber:)

    Wow- Hawaii? I am a huge LOST fan too!
    Tracy

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  17. Love your letters! I find myself smiling and nodding in agreement on most every one!

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Thanks for the comment!

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