Friday, April 20, 2012

My Dear Letters

There are My Dear Letters...letters I wish I could send...

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Dear Zac Efron,

I know you didn’t come up with the line “you should be kissed every hour, every minute” for your new movie The Lucky One. And I know it’s meant to be romantic. But all I think when I hear it is, “That sounds awful. I’d need some space.”

Also, it’s hard for me to look at you as a real man considering you were in various Disney movies.

Signed,
He-Just-Doesn’t-Do-It-For-Me,
Amber

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Dear The Hunger Games Movie,

You were good, don’t get me wrong. But you forgot some important things from the book. For starters, where is Madge? Madge should have been there. What happened to the Avoxes? Also, if you didn’t read the book, it was hard to understand the flashback when Peeta threw Katniss the bread. People might not have known she was acting like that because she was so hungry. They might have assumed she had just been running around with her bow and arrow, got exhausted and was like, “I’ll rest against this tree,” and then Peeta was like, “Here. Have some bread..”

Signed,
A-Still-Liked-The-Movie-But-It-Missed-Some-Crucial-Bits,
Amber

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Dear Tommy,

That’s my iPod Touch so I can ask for it back whenever I want. If you want one, save up for it. It’ll only cost you like two years allowance. Or more.

Signed,
A-Sorry-You-Don’t-Have-A-Wealthy-Relative,
Amber

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Dear Natalie,

No, you can’t stay and live with Rapunzel when we meet her at Disney World next year. I’m sorry. But yes, you can call Flynn Rider Eugene Fitzherbert if you want since that’s his read name.

Signed,
A-Sorry-You’re-Stuck-With-Us,
Amber

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Dear Car Who Honked At Me Because I Stopped On Red Before Turning Right,

Yes, I DID honk back at you. Because while you can turn right on red you HAVE TO STOP FIRST! It’s still a red light.

Signed,
Some-People-Shouldn’t-Be-On-The-Road,
Amber

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Dear Rachael Ray,

Why are your recipes so complicated? There are some ingredients I have never heard of before. And then you’re like, “You can find this meat if you have an Italian deli.” Well. Not everyone lives in NYC where there IS an Italian deli. Stick to things that people can EASILY find.

Signed,
A-Likes-Simple-Recipes,
Amber

25 comments:

  1. Ha, that would've told 'em, eh? Wonderful post!

    I now try to avoid seeing movies if I've already read the book - it never includes enough.

    Took me two years living on this isle of mine, before a neighbour finally pulled me aside to tell me NOONE honks their horn over here - only those from "across" (like me..) Blush.

    Nothing of mine is sacred either, now the kids are in their teens.

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  2. I would have lost my mind if somebody honked at me for that. We only use our horns down here when absolutely necessary.

    But when we were in Spain? Lord have mercy! Those Spainiards are some rude drivers! They would honk at you for stopping at a red light or stop sign, period!

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  3. some people are so rude on the road. Patience, please! And you'll arrive there safely. Great post!

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  4. Re: Disney World...if your daughter loves the princesses, you should try to get a reservation at Cinderella's Royal Table in Magic Kingdom. It's VERY hard to get in, but if you do, I recommend breakfast - that way, you get in the park earlier than the other unruly guests. :-)

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  5. I love looking at Zac Efron. I think he's pretty hot.

    I am not a twilight fan, but I read the books and saw the movies. I swear, the movies don't make a frick of sense if you didn't read the books first. There were a lot of awkward silences in the movies when they're just staring at each other, but in the books, their thoughts and all were narrated. They should have narrated that in the movies too! Or like Edward can read minds... except Bella's. SO when he's silent, hes usually reading minds... they don't tell you that in the movies!! So you're left thinking wtf, ANOTHER silence... so awkward!

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  6. There are more than just SOME people that shouldn't be on the road...sigh....


    I just don't think the movie is ever as good as the book. I actually refuse to watch movies of the books I've already read. I just don't want to ruin the picture I have in MY head from reading it. Am I missing out?

    Maybe

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  7. I feel the same way about that line in The Lucky One. Give a girl some space.

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  8. REAL Italian cooking is very simple, yet very flavorful!!!! I think RR is full of....you-know-what!

    Bad drivers are everywhere!

    Kids have some kind of ill-tempered illness goin' on! I'm really dreading summer vacation!!! NO REPRIEVE FOR MOMS!!!

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  9. Rachel Ray recipes always take me longer than 30 minutes too.

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  10. Rachel Ray's recipes take way longer than 30 minutes. And ever since she got her talk show she does nothing but annoy me.

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  11. I haven't been able to read the Hunger Games books yet, but I know that I will love them more than the movie (and I really loved it)!
    There are so many people on the road that shouldn't be, I get so irritated driving.
    I agree with your Rachael Ray letter, her recipes looks so darn delicious but are so complicated that I don't even want to try to make them. She definitely does need to make them simpler.
    Great letters!

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  12. Too funny! BTW, what is it with Rachael Ray? Her recipes NEVER take me only 30 minutes! Thanks for stopping by on my SITS Day today!

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  13. I agree about Hunger Games. I was annoyed at the way they portrayed Rue and their whole relationship. I don't think the movie gave it enough importance.

    Zac Effron...I think he is growing into a fine young man. Similar to Taylor Lautner, he makes me feel old and a tad creepy :P

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  14. I agree with the Zac Efron one. I would definitely need some space. And he still seems young to me too, even though after looking it up he is exactly 1 day OLDER than me.

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  15. These were great. My wife read the book and was obsessed with seeing the Zac Efron movie. But yeah, I thought the same thing about the St. Cloud movie, because I had watched High School Musical 11,000 times with my daughter. LOL. Hope you're having a great weekend!

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  16. Love this. I still cant get over that Zac Efron is considered both a man and a sex symbol when he was just a kid not long enough ago...

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  17. Since I didn't watch Zac Efron in any Disney movies, I can just look at him and enjoy seeing a good looking guy/kid. Period. Yeah, I'm old enough to be his MOTHER. Ever heard of "cougar"? Growwl!

    Red DOES mean stop, although you're lucky the a**hole didn't smash into your rear end!

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  18. Love your new website design!!

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  19. Good grief, a girl doesn't visit for awhile (okay, it may have been months) and you get a whole new look. I've missed you and need to get here more often!

    And Zac Efron as an adult romantic lead makes me feel creepy.

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  20. I'm pretty sure I sound like a cougar when I say I want to make out with Zac Efron

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  21. I KNOW! Where was Madge? And that whole flashback sequence was screwy. You are SO SMART. You should be a director.

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  22. First of all...love, love, love the new layout! I used to love Rachel Ray until I started attempting to make her recipes...they are not as easy as they sound or look.

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  23. Hilarious.

    I read The Hunger Games, but completely spaced on these details when watching the movie, you are so right.

    My husband could have been the one honking at you. He doesn't believe you have to stop at red lights when you are turning....which is why he just got a ticket. :)

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