Thursday, May 3, 2012

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Weird Celeb Baby Names

Did you hear?

Jessica Simpson finally had her baby. She named it Maxwell Drew.

No, she did not have a boy.

She had a girl.

Now, as far as celebrity names go, it isn’t too horrible. Would I name my daughter that? No. But she grew the kid for 500 months, therefore it’s her right to choose.

She plans on calling the baby Maxi. I’m sure we’re all thinking of the feminine product now, right?

But again. If that’s what she wants to call her kid, by all means.

As far weird names go, Maxwell is pretty tame compared to what other celebs have named their children.

Pilot Inspektor anyone?

Or….someone named their kid Tabooger. TABOOGER? (Seriously. Dan Cortese and Dee Dee Hemby actually choose that moniker.)

Nicolas Cage must’ve took out his rage on having movie after movie of his bomb so he named his son Kal-el.

And somewhere out there, a child is walking around with the name Moxie CrimeFighter.


As I said up there, everyone has a right to name their kid what they want. But why? Is there some secret celeb child society where, if you want your baby to be well liked and accepted, the number one rule is that it MUST be named something bizarre?

I prefer the celebs who refuse to follow this rule and call their children something, well, normal.

Think about it. All the actors that are out there now all have basically normal names. Ryan. Brad. Angie. Chris.

When the next generation comes through we’re going to get the weirdo names.

The New Spiderman…starring Bahoohoo Jones!

A remake of The Wizard of Oz…starring Apple Orange!

An all new Batman…starring Bee Buzz!

Lucky us, huh?


  1. "Bahoohoo Jones" made me laugh out loud. :)

  2. Jessica Simpson is as dumb as a box of rocks. I'm just saying.
    I don't understand this trend but I hate it. Who wants to take bets on how many of these kids change their names once they get 18?

  3. I'm in the minoirty I like Maxwell but I wouldn't name my kid that. Still,it is odd that the names are getting so much worse.

  4. I'm all for original names...something different...but Maxwell Drew is kinda pushing it. The poor girl is going to go through life w/everyone thinking she's a boy.

    I think it was Gwenyth Paltrow & Chris Martin named their kid Apple. I thought at the time it was the oddest name...but they have been beat most definitely by other weird names.

  5. I am not as opposed to Maxwell as I am to Maxi. But yeah, for sure some of those names can just be so far out there. What ever happened to Jane??! Can you imagine hiring Zuma Rossdale as a grownup? The name makes me think the only job he'll be able to get is at a surf shop.

  6. the parents are creating a separate class of people who have weird names and can't understand life without millions of dollars. they'll all have to create a commune and live together.

  7. When I was picking out my little guy's name I spent hours trying to find the perfect "normal" name that wasn't too popular. I also made doubly sure that there was no way his name could be twisted around and made fun of. For his sake.
    I can't believe some of the names celebrities are naming their kids! They are nuts! But, who in school is going to make fun of a kid named Beluga with famous rich parents.

  8. Perhaps she choose to honor a grandparent or someone special in her childhood life... or her singing/voice lessons teacher?

    There has to be a backstory somewhere...

    ...I hope.

  9. I also thought Drew was weird for a middle name. Wasn't that Jessica Simpson's ex brother in law's first name? As in Drew Lachey? Awkward.

  10. Ugh I hate Maxwell Drew. I'm such a conservative when it comes to names! I like normal, spelled properly, names.

  11. Awesome post!!! Moxie Crimefighter is definitely my all time favorite! ;)
    My daughter goes to school with a little GIRL named George.

  12. I feel so sorry for kids with such weird names. Maxi? Maxi pad? Oooh boy.

  13. Maxine would have worked better. Max for short BTW. What about back when all the girls were named Heather of Tiffany? My biggest pet peave is when they have regular names that are spelled incorrectly. Yes, I said incorrectly. And after all the names of inanimate objects like Wall and Book and Box are are used up, they will probably go back to the old names like Hazel, Gertrude and Herman. Soooo, which is worse?

  14. I used to work at a newspaper, in the Lifestyles section, and I hate the great honor of doing school news and birth announcements.

    Whenever the honor rolls would come out, I'd see how many different ways you can spell Mackenzie and Michaela, and how many awful names these poor kids had.

    The worst, though? Little third-grader Starr Fish.

  15. My parents named me Ryan Taft (first, middle). And I'm female. What does that say about them? Well, Taft is a family name, but back 36 years ago there were not a lot of folks who chose boy names for their daughters. However, had I been a boy, my name would have been Luke. I always thought they wanted a son first and just expected me to come out with a dingaling between my legs and well, not the case. But years ago they told me indeed, they only were going to name me Ryan if I were a baby girl. At least my name isn't Apple or Rumor or Inspektor...

  16. I had not heard that she FINALLY had that baby or that she's named her Maxwell Drew? WTH? Not a bad name for a boy but for a girl?!

    Also, my boys have a guinea pig named Maxie. They wanted to name her Max so I suggested Maxie since she was a female and all. But a person? Come on, Jessica!

  17. We are leaning towards naming our next Booger Barn! hahahaha, I am with you on this, though I think Jessica Simpson's daughter might one day think they wished for a son ;)

  18. There is some country (Norway perhaps?) that does not allow parents to name their children whatever is their passing fancy. We need that law. Then maybe celebrities and fictional characters (I am talking to you Bella for that awful name for your vampire baby) would use some sense.

  19. I heard Jessica's name on the radio today...what?!

  20. Maxwell is better than Maxine!

    I'm just sick of people who name their children one name, and then call them by another!!!!!

    Why not just name them what you call them?

  21. I agree. These poor kids. At least they will all have money for therapy.
    Tom's niece named her little boy Walls.

  22. This post made me giggle. Thank you!

  23. Yes we do have some weird sounding names to look forward to being made famous in the future

  24. I'm still laughing at Tabooger.

  25. Maxi? Ugh!!! She really is a dumb blonde! (No offense, you're NOT!)

  26. I know someone who named their first born son : Socrates Chazz
    They are expecting their 2nd baby ... I don't even want to imagine what this baby is going to be called.

  27. I just want to point out that Nicholas Cage's son's name is after Superman's Kryptonian name, which...why I know this? I don't know and I'm not proud of this knowledge. And no, this does not make it right that he named his child Kal-el.

  28. Her baby was born the day after ours. I saw something about it on Facebook while I was in the hospital so I had to make sure it wasn't the same day as our baby.

    Maxwell? Like you said, she was pregnant for 500 months.


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