So Mother’s Day is Sunday. (Cue panic for those who forgot. Send an e-card!) Tom isn’t here so we won’t be doing much. Still, I decided to make a list on what I hoped would happen to make Mother’s Day nice.
--Not having to deal with anyone’s poop. Yes, I still wipe Natalie’s butt. She wants to do it herself but she, erm, misses. And then I’m left with stained underwear. I refuse to keep stained underwear so into the trash it goes. Then I have to buy new underwear. So yes, I wipe her ass. She does the bend over bit well. (“Touch your toes!”) I also have to deal with the cat box. And reminding my son to SPRAY THE AIR FRESHENER when he’s taken a dump because holy crap (teehee!) he can clear out a room. So on Sunday, please, let me not have to deal with any type of feces.
--For my kids not to fight over ridiculous things like grass. No, seriously. They fought over GRASS before. Someone had tracked some into the carpet so I asked them to pick it up. Tommy said it was Natalie. Natalie said it was Tommy. It went on and on. OVER GRASS!
--No cooking. I’ll probably order pizza. I shouldn’t have to cook on Mother’s Day. It’s against the law or something.
--To not have to fold any laundry. It seems to be never ending. I’ll think I’m all caught up and them BAM. Wad of dirty clothes in the corner of their rooms.
--No Yo Gabba Gabba! Or Dora the Explorer. Or iCarly. I get some parents think these shows are cute. I do not. Dora repeats herself like a billion times and it’s like, “Dora, okay, stop talking about the stupid bridge and JUST GO OVER IT ALREADY!”
--To not have to clean up messes like these:
What do you want for Mother’s Day?