Thursday, July 26, 2012

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: No Peace!

“So no one needs anything?” I called out. “Because I’m going to sit on the couch and read for a half hour. I don’t plan on getting up. Okay?”

No one said a word. Natalie was busy flipping through her Brave book and Tommy was busy on the iPod Touch.

“I’m serious,” I warned. “Once my butt hits this couch, I’m off limits for a half hour.”


Okay then.

I settled down. Sipped on my ice water and pretended it was a cocktail. Opened my Kindle Fire. Turned it on. Read ONE sentence and..

“Mommy? I can’t find my Merida dress.”

*Le sigh* Didn’t I JUST say…didn’t I JUST warn that I wasn’t going to leave the couch for a half hour? I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I still can't even have a PIP (poop in peace.)

“Look around. It’s somewhere,” I answered, refusing to look up from the screen. This was MY time, dammit.

Natalie poked half heartedly behind the couch cushions. “It’s no where. I’m beginning to panic.”

“Mommy is busy,” I said. “Look in your room.”

I refused to make eye contact with Natalie. If I made eye contact, it would mean that she wouldn’t leave me alone. I just had to focus on my book and—

“It’s not there. HELP me,” Natalie said dramatically.

“I am READING,” I replied.

“Mom?” Tommy called out. “Mom, there aren’t any snack foods.”

Oh, for the love of chocolate.

“I just went grocery shopping Monday. There ARE snack foods. Have a carrot. Now, if you excuse me, I’m reading—”

“I don’t want a carrot,” Tommy said, saying the word carrot like he was saying the word turd.

“I’m reading,” I tried again. “I’m off limits. Deal with your own issues.”

“But my dress!” Natalie wailed.

“There is nothing I like here,” Tommy huffed, peering into the cupboard.

I should have ignored them. But I’m easily distracted. Sometimes I wonder if I have ADD. There was no way I could get into a book with whining in the background.

So I snapped my Kindle Fire shut. Got up. Found the dress in the bathroom. Handed Tommy some Ritz crackers. Grabbed my Kindle Fire. Told Tom to watch the kids. Went upstairs to my room.

And locked the door.

Because it never fails.

Whenever the kids witness me sitting down?

Their brains suddenly ping with “Mommy is having quiet time. I MUST remedy this.”


  1. You are right it never fails. My husband wonders why I stay up so late even when I am tired and it is because it is the ONLY time I have quiet time :)

  2. hahahaha my kids and husband do the SAME thing!!

  3. Maybe next time don't announce it. Sneak into a corner and start reading. You might get a few paragraphs read before they even notice what you are doing. ;)

  4. I'm with Pat. Go into the bathroom, bring a comfy pillow. Turn on the water so they think you're taking a shower. And read in there. There's even a toilet for emergencies! And water in case you get parched!

  5. I hope you find a remedy. My daughter was the same way when she was young. The minute I opened the newspaper or answered the phone. Keep trying!

  6. So were you able to read your book? And what were you reading?

  7. Aww now I feel bad, I hope I wasn't like that to my mom. I'm sure I was. If you come up with a magical remedy you'll have to let me know so I can try it with my future children.

  8. Oh my word, it's a childhood epidemic! Mom sitting down is not something to be remedied, but darn if all the kids think it's a sickness. It definitely helps to be in another room when you sit down, but even that doesn't fix it, only delays the inevitable.

    So, hooray we're not alone? ;)

  9. Wow. Why is that always the case? When my nieces were little, every time I would talk to my SIL on the phone, they would want her. She would tell me that they hadn't spoken to her for hours before hand.

  10. I so agree with you. I've been sitting here and since doing so have been asked to get someone something about 4 times.

  11. I'm glad it's not just my kid! The second I'm trying to read, make a craft, check my e-mail, etc. she is all over me!

  12. Funny, my husband does the same thing as your children do.

  13. I'm laughing at your misery, but I have a feeling I will experience this in my own time!

  14. My baby always wakes up from her naps as soon as I get settled down...

  15. SNORT!
    And it will end all too soon.

  16. "I'm beginning to panic" made me giggle. =X
    I know the feeling so well!

  17. That's my house, except it's ALL TALKING ALL THE TIME. My ears!

  18. I cannot read at all when there is something going on like that. It fires up my blood. I cannot handle it.

    Thanks for stopping by on my sits day, and I am happy to meet anyone who views motherhood in a similar tone as me! Not-Super-Moms are awesome moms. :)

  19. i can completely relate. it never fails. i can't even pip either, if it makes ya feel better. lol

  20. This comment has been removed by the author.

  21. Since I'm trying to have a mommy off limit moment myself, I haven't taken time to read all the above comments. But I want to pose this question: why is that men have to "watch" the kids, or as the guys around me refer to it, "babysit" the kids. But us gals...well, you now the drill....

    Loved this post, BTW!! Now I'm off to PIP!!! (I'm using that term from now on!!)


  22. Different house, same story!


Thanks for the comment!

Share This

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...