Friday, August 17, 2012

My Dear Letters

The following are letters I wish I could send. Or, you know, say.

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Dear Tommy,

I hope you have a wonderful first day of Fifth Grade. You will do great. Remember your spelling though. And please son, remember the difference between your and you’re and their, there, and they’re.

Signed,
A-Doesn’t-Want-To-Have-Offspring-That-Writes-Your-Welcome,
Amber

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Dear Natalie,

Wow, I can’t believe you’re in Kindergarten. Didn’t I just push you out? I’m glad that you’re excited about it. I was worried we might have a Stephanie Tanner from Full House moment. Remember when she went to Kindergarten and was scared? You watched that episode and was like, “Why is she scared? School is great!”


Signed,
An-It’s-Going-To-Be-Weird-And-Quiet-Without-Her,
Amber

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Dear Tom,

Thanks for saying that if I turned into a zombie that you’d shoot me unlike that guy in The Walking Dead who didn’t have it in him to shoot his zombie wife. (At least he hadn’t by episode 4.) But really, I appeciate your sentiment. And likewise, if YOU turn into a zombie, I’ll shoot you too.

Signed,
A-Better-Not-Ever-Turn-Into-A-Zombie-Or-BAM,
Amber

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Dear eBayers who don’t pay for your item,

If you can’t afford what you bid on, here’s some advice: don’t bid! I only bid on things I can pay for right away. Waiting days on end to finally pay is NOT RIGHT. If you can’t pay within 24 hours, please piss off. I usually am nice and say on my auctions to pay within 4 days. And people STILL refuse to do this. GAH!

Signed,
A-Tends-To-Be-An-eBay-Moron-Magnet,
Amber

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Dear Overly Sensitive Military Wives,

I like your Facebook page. (Can be found here.) I know people complain that it’s mean spirited and the like. It’s their right to feel that way HOWEVER…if they don’t like a page, why like it in the first place? I don’t agree with everything posted on there but I understand that not everyone is going to think like me. And that’s okay.

Signed,
A-Doesn’t-Take-What-I-Read-On-Facebook-Too-Seriously,
Amber

17 comments:

  1. Here's wishing your kids' school years go well! It's nice to know you and your hubs will kill each other if need be. ;)

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  2. I'm surprised Ebay doesn't make you pay instantly. Really, it should. Basically every other shopping website makes you do it right away.
    Hope your kids have a good day at school!

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  3. great post. I hope my DH would shoot me too if I turned into a zombie.

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  4. Hope your kids have a wonderful first day of school :D I can imagine that it is very calm and quiet at your house when they are gone haha.
    Love your letters :D So fun!
    It's so nice of you guys to be willing to shoot each other if they turn into a zombie, haha I got a good laugh out of that one.

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  5. I have to tell you this little story about ppl not paying on ebay.

    A long time ago, when ebay was new, I saw some Christmas stockings that I liked.

    For fun, I bid on them but then with in a few seconds someone bid against me so I bid again and then someone bid against me so I bid again.

    Long story short... this went on for hours until the auction closed and the price over $200.

    I thought the other person would outbid me but they stopped and the auction closed and I was like I don't want to pay $200 for used things when I can get the new ones for cheaper so I didn't pay.

    And I never ebay'd again.

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  6. There is a setting in eBay Amber, that you can use to avoid problematic bidders. They need to have so many positive transactions to be able to buy from you. If you need help doing it let me know. I would be happy to help you :)

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  7. Still jealous!
    I wanna hear alllll about what you did (or DIDN'T do) without kids at home!

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  8. Ugh, I hate it when ebayers don't pay right away. so frustrating.

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  9. My boys have one more week of summer before school starts. I really hope 5th grade is better than 4th for Jakob. 4th grade made him HATE school. He used to love it. :(

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  10. Dear Amber,

    What ever will you do with your alone days now that the kiddies are in school? No doubt indulge yourself in reruns of Full House.

    Sincerely,
    Mrs. Tuna

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  11. I love this idea! Great post whenever you do these!

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  12. Good post
    adoptionpi@blogspot.com

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  13. I love these. I think I should write my kids first day of school letters!

    Visiting from SITS.

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  14. I love this! I've just added you to my blogroll; can't wait to read more!
    annie
    justalittletart.blogspot.com

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  15. I love that first letter. I know some adults who still make the mistake of there, they're, their.

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  16. That zombie promise is true love. Truly.

    Then again, I don't think I'd hesitate to shoot my husband if he was a zombie that was trying to eat my brains. I can't say I'd hesitate to shoot ANYBODY that is trying to eat my brains. That's just crossing a major line, you know? MY. Brain. MINE.

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Thanks for the comment!

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