Friday, February 22, 2013

So We Went To A Marriage Retreat

So I mentioned that I went to a marriage retreat with Tom.

I liked it.

We got to go to classes and there was childcare PLUS there was a date night on Saturday.

We did learn some beneficial things.

Here is basically a sum up:

We had to guess what the other’s love language was at one point.

“You like gift giving,” Tom said without hesitation.

“No! It’s not all about gifts!” I argued.

“But you like getting gifts,” he prodded.

Well, duh. Who doesn’t?

“But I prefer quality time or physical touch,” I insisted.

“Yeah you do,” Tom responded, wiggling his eyebrows up and down.

It’s hard for us to take that kind of thing seriously. I remember when the book Love Dare came out and everyone around us seemed to be doing it. We couldn’t take the questions seriously. For instance, if I were asked to name a good quality about him, I’d say, “He doesn’t fart in bed that often.”

Somehow I don’t think that’s what the book is looking for…

When we had to answer the questions, we had to sit knee to knee and look into one another’s eyes.

This gave us the giggles.

Who talks like that?

The woman hosting the class even suggested that we sit knee to knee and eye to eye when we returned home.

Uh. No thanks.

We talk like normal human beings. I can see her point though. If you sit like that, the odds that someone will shout will go down because, well, it’s hard to scream at someone who is against your knee and staring you right in the face.


Not for us.

We also don’t speak to one another like the paper suggests. I don’t go, “When you play your video games for hours on end, I feel pissed off because you ought to pay attention to human beings rather than make believe things.”

Instead I go, “If you don’t stop playing that game, I’m going to chuck it out the window.”

Probably not healthy.

But the class did teach me to say things in a better manner. Tom did admit that he doesn’t much like it when I threaten to break parts of his body or his belongings.

So I’m working on it.

He’s working on communicating better with me.

I highly recommend a marriage retreat if your area offers one. I swear, you’ll do fine if you’re like me, who can’t take much seriously. It still helps.


  1. I have the same kind of marriage lol. I also threaten to throw things in the yard or break appendage every now and then. We get the giggles when we have to get super serious. One of our answers to a similar question was: He/she does not annoy me most of the time" LOL.

    We have been together for ten years, it works for us ;)

  2. Childcare and date night also seem high on the positives.

  3. I really wanted to do something like that when I was married, unfortunately my husband refused. Needless to say, after 15 years he called it quits. (well, he found someone else) That was 13 years ago, I am a much happier person today. I still think, especially if you have children you should make every effort to keep it together, he just didn't. Good for you both!

  4. Sounds mostly painless. Glad you found it helpful!

  5. its also hard to yell at your spouse when you are holding their hand. At least it is for us. so if we feel the need to yell we grab hands and it somehow calms us. Weird!

  6. I think it's very healthy to give a threat every now and then, keeps them on their toes!

    I've been married 26 years, must be working. haha

    No, actually, all the things on your list are critical to a marriage, even if the person says they're not. Grumble.


  7. Tooooooo funny! Thanks for the review...I'll look into it--could use a laugh ;) I can just hear us both moaning and groaning to get down on our knees.

  8. We learned similar stuff on our marriage retreat. Though really, we went for the food and the pool...

  9. Haha- its hard to be serious in a room full of strangers trying to be serious in a room full of strangers.

  10. You sound like me and boyfriend - we would never get through something like that without a ton of giggling.

  11. I would like to go to one of these if it would help my husband communicate too. I hardly ever know what that man is thinking.

  12. Yeah, I think Choreboy and I would have been snickering as well. There are absolutely good points to everything they bring up, but there's also such a thing as overkill :)

  13. I just asked Tony what my love language is... he had no idea.


    But hey... there's free babysitting!

    I'm in!!

  14. We would never be able to get through something like that. My husband would make me laugh the whole time.

  15. Errrr....I'm not sure I want uncover our language after 30 years. Maybe it's Portuguese or something.

  16. That sounds so interesting. There is no way my husband could stay serious. You should have heard the cracks he made at the few birthing classes we went to so many years ago... or the things when we are just with a large group of people. Yeah, he is a "low talker" hoping only I hear & no one else does. haa!

  17. I bet your way works better. Glad to hear you got something out of it.



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