Thursday, March 7, 2013

Things That Annoy Me Thursday: Outdoing People

“I clean my man’s uniforms and iron them if need be!”

“I clean my man’s uniforms, iron, AND wash his boots!”

“I clean my man’s uniforms, iron, wash his boots, and cook him anything he wants!”


I tried not to roll my eyes.

Why did I join these groups?

I was on a Facebook group for military spouses and a question was asked on what the spouses did for their military men (or women.)

It seemed like each person was trying to outdo one another.

I tried to back away from the screen. Sometimes I practically have to sit on my hands not to write something snarky. It’s very hard for me, people.

Like when people write ‘your welcome.’ It happens on a daily basis on Facebook. I always want to type *you’re under their comment but I imagine the person would get all offended even though that's not my intent.

I also want to write comments when the crunchy parents post status updates on not feeding babies rice cereal or how disposable diapers damage their skin. Sometimes I have a comment all written up but I force myself to delete it. (“BOTH my kids wore Luvs and never had an issue!” I once wanted to post.)

“Everyone is different,” I’ll remind myself even though sometimes the way the crunchy mothers share their stuff seems a tad condescending. (I said sometimes. I know very friendly crunchy mothers who would never make another mother feel bad for their choices..)

Anyway, I wasn’t able to say nothing on that military Facebook posting.

“My husband deals with his own uniforms. I wash his regular clothes but he takes care of his uniforms. I wouldn’t go near his boots. They stink. I’ve also never ironed a day in my life. My husband irons his own stuff.”

This was followed by an aghast comment.

“WHAT? You’ve NEVER ironed? As my husband’s wife, I gladly take care of his stuff!”

My response? “My daughter got a toy ironing board for her birthday once and thought it was a bed for her dolls.”

Her response? “Is that supposed to be funny?”

Mine? “Yup!”

Then she didn’t say anything else. I think she was appalled that there was a military man out there who had to take care of his own gear. The horror.

But really, my husband has never asked me to deal with his uniforms. Mainly because he’s worried if I ironed them that I’d burn them and because he has these things called hands and just because he works, it doesn’t mean he gets to sit back and do nothing at home.

But some wives don’t seem to grasp this.

They can go make elaborate meals for their men. I’ll continue to make Sloppy Joes and Corn Dogs. Without guilt.

41 comments:

  1. Just make sure he teaches Tommy how to iron ;)

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  2. Everyone is different. You don't understand why they would do all that and they don't understand why you don't. I think as long as what you do works for both of you that is what matters. Because as you say, every one is different. Continue to feel no guilt :)

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  3. Your post made me smile! My husband does all the ironing here, he also sews buttons on, and even cooks sometimes! Its a partnership...I'd go crazy if I had to do everything around the house!!

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  4. Yup. I never ONCE ironed Curtis's uniforms. I did shine his boots a few times, but that was before we had kids and I wasn't working and had nothing else to do. After kids? Forget it. :)

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  5. I do certain things for my husband and he does certain things for me but I hate ironing. Dry cleaning all the way!

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  6. Lol, i hate ironing too. Got myself one of those steam iron where I can iron without the board, still I just dislike the task.
    Some people do have "Competitive" as their middle name...usually I just stay (far) away from them.

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  7. Nobody irons anything around here!!

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  8. Military personnel have to learn to take care of themselves, when on deployments there are no spouses so they better. I was in the Navy and our work clothes were just wrinkled, but we starched and ironed dress uniforms. The Marines starched everything, their stiff hats were very impressive.

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  9. facebook groups are the worst, we have a similar one here and I avoid it for the most part. When Kev with with a regular unit, I didn't do his uniforms either. Now that he is in grad school, I drop off his clothes at the dry cleaner every few weeks because I hate ironing and he doesn't know how haha

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  10. Agreed! My husband is perfectly fine with and perfectly capable of taking care of his own uniforms. What a silly competition to have!

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  11. My husband irons his own uniforms because he is just as capable of handling a washing machine as I am. In fact on Sundays, he washes whatever dirty laundry is in the baskets. In return I also make repairs to our cars and mow the lawn sometimes. We both do ALL the work because we are both grown-up capable people. lol

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  12. I don't iron. At all.
    If he wants his uniforms or anything else ironed, he needs to do it.
    He laughed at me when I attempted to iron a tablecloth at Christmas, I was clueless. He took over and fixed the 90 wrinkles I had ironed into it.
    But, I happily cook dinner and wash dishes, so I guess it all equals out. As long as the stuff gets done, who cares who does the work?

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  13. ooohhh, my MIL called me a bad wife once because I wasn't getting up in the morning to make hubby's lunch before he went to work... yeah, that didn't go over too well.

    I will occasionally iron (we're talking once or twice a year) so hubs knows if he needs his shirt/pants ironed for work he had better do it himself :)

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  14. I don't iron. I don't buy clothes that I have to iron. Thus my husband gets to iron his button down shirts for work. :-)

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  15. People take themselves so serious these days, I love youR sense of humor!

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  16. My husband was in the Navy 23 years and he always ironed his own uniforms. One time after we were first married he asked me to sew a pair of his khaki pants where he had ripped the seam out right in the butt. I had never sewn and I didn't have a sewing machine so I hand sewed it but didn't turn it inside out. I really thought it was the best I could do. He was horrified, we laughed so hard. He never asked me again though.
    I like your sense of humor.

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  17. Amen. I don't touch my hubby's uniforms. Partially because I hate ironing and partially because he's OCD about his uniforms. It's not 1950. Men can help around the house and take care of themselves.

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  18. My husband is in charge of his army stuff. I don't wash it, I don't mess with it. Works better that way. What's an iron? ;)

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  19. I am honestly not even sure we own an iron. We probably do, but I have no idea where it is. I hate ironing. And chores. And doing anything for my hubby that he can do for himself! ;)

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  20. Tag, You're it! (and corndogs are good)

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  21. Kudos to you!!!
    I NEVER iron or anything to take care of my husband's uniforms. I will take them to the dry cleaner if I have to and I will throw his NWUs in the washer but apart from that he has to do it himself. I wash my work stuff he can wash his own work stuff! He chose that job and was washing/ironing before he met me therefore he can continue to do it! haha.
    My parents don't understand it but hey it works for us and no need to change something that works! :)

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  22. Not a military wife, but my husband sends his shirts to the cleaners and he is grateful for any hot meal that's on the table. He knew what he was getting into when he married me!

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  23. Good for you, everyone is different and no one should make others feel bad for doing things differently!

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  24. I've never ironed in my life. Well, that's not exactly true. I tried once and it was a bit pathetic and laughable. My husband was a bachelor for a long time before me and he's a darn good ironer. (is that a word?)

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  25. A long time ago, I decided I would never be the type of wife who was "happy to keep his dinner warm," it's just not me. My husband always does his own laundry, uniforms or otherwise... Probably because he's afraid I'll mess them up, but also because I am not going to do it.

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  26. Those women would HATE me. I don't cook. AT ALL. Not even sloppy joes or microwave dinners. And you know what? My husband is fine with that.

    This might also be one of the reasons I stay away from FaceBook...the temptation to write snarky comments is just too great.

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  27. Here's the thing.

    My boys are 11 and 12. They cook. They clean. They do their own laundry AND put it away. So does Tony, and so does Bonus Brother. I am a mother, a wife, a step mom, and a mail lady. I am NOT a maid. Tonight I am not feeling well, my 11 year old will make me soup and my 12 year old will tuck me in. WHY? Because I have done this FOR YEARS for them. It's part of being a family, and ultimately fostering independence.

    And someday they will make damn good husbands for the lady of their choosing. I feel sorry for that lady on FB... because 20 years from now, when her husband refuses to lift a finger to do anything, and she resents every second of his being home, she will have done it to herself.

    Wow. I'm awfully opinionated today. Maybe I should have sat on my hands. :)

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  28. Her response? “Is that supposed to be funny?”

    Mine? “Yup!”

    BwaHaHaHaaa! I thought it was funny.
    I'd get kicked out of that group real quick.

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  29. My house doesn't even own an ironing board, so I definitely won't be the one ironing my husbands outfits. I'm happy with doing things for my husband (when I get one), but I won't be his servant.

    And for the record, corn dogs are better than any fancy dinner! ;)

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  30. Good for you! I hate ironing. I'll iron my stuff, but only because I have to.

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  31. My man is lucky if he comes home and our kid and our dog is alive :-)

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  32. Agreed! My police officer husband is in charge of his own laundry. Ironically we have a pink iron (wedding shower gift for me) that he uses weekly. Funny to see him with a pink iron, haha.

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  33. Good for you! We have two irons and I rarely use them. I toss clothes in the dryer for a few minutes to get the wrinkles out.

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  34. I'm with you on the whole disposable diaper thing. I am just NOT a cloth diaper kind of person. I also nursed all 3 of my kids because it was fairly easy for me & I produced a shit-ton of milk, however neither of my sisters really could. They had a really hard time. If it would have been that way for me I totally would have popped a bottle of formula in my kids mouths! Who is to say that one moms way is right over another... uggghh that annoys that crap out of me!

    As far as a wife goes, I think I'm a great one. Do I always have the house clean... nope. Do I have meals waiting for him when he gets home... nope! He doesn't get home til 10:00 at night. On his 1 day off I make him dinner, but usually it isn't anything super fancy. Also, I do his laundry but I do not iron his tshirts like his mom used to... that just isn't happening! I've got kids to take care of & play with.

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  35. My SIL once made a comment to my husband that it'd be nice if his church shirts were ironed and I could have decked her. I don't see her offering to come to my house and do the ironing. I did pull our ironing board out a few weeks ago and my boys all hurried to gather 'round and look at this new contraption mom was working on! I totally agree with how people can be condescending in areas that really just don't matter, do they?

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  36. HA!! My husband is on his own when it comes to ironing....if i'm not wearing it, i'm not ironing it.
    I am not crunchy but no way I was feeding my babies rice cereal, that stuff is like paste, ewwww.
    And just recently the your and you're started to bug me, i am not sure why though.

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  37. I'm just sick of prissy, judge-y women in general. I'm a Boy Scout leader, so I spent a lot of time with male Scout leaders and it is so much nicer! This conversation simply would not exist in the male world. C'mon over to the boys side of things. It's a bit more smelly and crude, but the company is a LOT less judgmental!

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  38. I don't iron my husband's uniforms either! Never have! He's been ironing his stuff for himself so long he knows exactly how to do it, exactly how he likes it and he's way faster at it than I'd be. Plus his arm isn't broken!

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  39. I don't iron either. :) I also don't clean bathrooms, my husband does.

    So yep, to each their own. If you really start thinking about the phrase "you're welcome" it really is the stupidest phrase anyway and makes no sense! In Spanish it is "De nada" which means, no big deal or no worries, that makes a lot more sense then telling someone- you are welcome since I did this for you, seems almost arrogant if you really think about it. ;P

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  40. I'm a little late to the party here, but amen to pretty much every word of this. The Marines are soooo particular and everything has to be perfect, so my husband is responsible for his own uniforms. I would be horrified if I messed up something and he got in trouble for it. He knows better than I do what is expected, so he does it himself. Although the other day he asked if I could sew something... I literally laughed out loud. He knows his ass has never once in almost 8 years of marriage seen me being productive with a needle and thread!
    And OMG on the you're/your, to/too, there/their/they're!!! I would lose so many friends on facebook. And is anyone else ready to choke someone out for quite/quiet or using "defiantly" instead of "definitely"???

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  41. I'm a little late to the party here, but amen to pretty much every word of this. The Marines are soooo particular and everything has to be perfect, so my husband is responsible for his own uniforms. I would be horrified if I messed up something and he got in trouble for it. He knows better than I do what is expected, so he does it himself. Although the other day he asked if I could sew something... I literally laughed out loud. He knows his ass has never once in almost 8 years of marriage seen me being productive with a needle and thread!
    And OMG on the you're/your, to/too, there/their/they're!!! I would lose so many friends on facebook. And is anyone else ready to choke someone out for quite/quiet or using "defiantly" instead of "definitely"???

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