Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Into the Tornado Shelter

“Who farted? Come on guys, this is an enclosed space!” I yelled, pinching my nose.

“It wasn’t me!” Natalie piped up, covering her own nose.

“It was me,” Tommy admitted, reminding me of Jim Carrey in the movie Liar, Liar as he got off an elevator.

“Why son?” I asked. “Why?” It smelled like the cheese that smells like dirty diapers.

“I couldn’t hold it,” Tommy shrugged.

“Next time, do,” I ordered.

We were in the tornado shelter due to the base sirens going off on Sunday evening. Tornadoes seemed to be forming left and right. I do not like going into the shelter. Bugs live in the shelter. It gets hot in the shelter. PEOPLE FART IN THE SHELTER.

For most of the day, gigantic clouds were forming and Tommy was outside taking photos of them:

“Isn’t this amazing?” he kept saying, because he’s obsessed with weather. “Aren’t the cumulonimbus clouds great?”

“So long as they don’t get dangerous,” I answered.

Then things started to get dangerous.

The base sirens started to go off.

“We need to get into the shelter,” I said, trying to keep calm. I didn’t want to panic the children.

“My dolls! My dresses!” Natalie yelped, running for her room.

“We need to get into the shelter!” I insisted.


“Natalie, pick one thing. They’ll be fine,” I said. They’d be fine, right? We wouldn’t get hit by a tornado. Right? RIGHT? I longed for my husband. Why did he have to be deployed during tornado season? Oklahoma can get insane during tornado season. He was usually the one who calmed me down. When he wasn’t outside, trying to SPOT the tornado, that is. While we’d be hunkered down in the shelter, he’d be outside and I’d be screaming, “Get in, get in, did you not see the movie Twister WHEN THE DAD GOT SWEPT AWAY?”

Natalie returned with three toys—her Rapunzel, her pony, and the camel her daddy sent her. “They were all scared,” she told me solemnly. “I couldn’t pick one.”

Then we went in the shelter and waited.

Someone farted.

I felt like I wanted to faint.

Sirens went off.

We got to come out. My heart went out to the people of Shawnee who were hit hard.

I hoped that was it for awhile.


Fast forward to Monday. New storms were being reported. I got a phone call from the school saying we could pick up the kids early. I opted to do so to be on the safe side.

And then?


Reports of a tornado forming started and the base alarms went off. We hunkered back into the shelter. Yes, Natalie had to bring toys again. No, Tommy didn’t fart. We stayed there for an hour, because it was thought the tornado was coming right for us. I did not panic. If I panicked, the kids would panic. I could not do that to them. So instead I thought good thoughts. I wished my husband were with us.

Then the alarms turned off.

I found out about the devastation in Moore. Houses were destroyed. Schools were destroyed. People were killed. CHILDREN were killed. This got me the worst.

So please, keep the families in your thoughts and prayers. I am hoping that we’re done with crazy tornadoes but seeing as this is Oklahoma, it’s unlikely…


  1. I'm a Texas native and considering I have friends in Oklahoma it breaks my heart for them. Glad you're safe. We are on post in Alabama [Redstone] and there aren't jack for tornado shelters out here, but there are tornadoes.

    I don't mean to laugh at the farting, but you guys should enforce the 'safety / doorknob game.' You've given me a reason to make a post about that. Stay tuned this week and you'll find the rules.

  2. I'm glad you are safe.

    The shelter needs a can of Febreeze in it... for next time.

    The only consolation for those that found their lives impacted and their homes destroyed is that so many in this country are behind them - and want to help somehow.

  3. Really scary...and such devastating loss. I'm glad you are all right. I thought of you immediately when I heard the news and went right to twitter. Hang in there! ((hugs))

  4. Oh my Gosh, this is just so hard to read. It must have been so stressful and scary and then to emerge and hear the news. Jesus. We are thinking of you and praying that you will all be safe.-The Dose Girls

  5. What a scary situation! Thank goodness for shelters, and yes even if there are farts, for the bit of piece of mind they give. The devastation is so awful. My thoughts, heart and prayers are with those people. And let me say, I don't ever want to live in tornado alley.

  6. I imagine that's the only time you were glad for the Dutch oven!!!!

  7. I love that you found humor in a scary situation. I cried when I heard about the elementary schools. Having worked in a school for years, my heart went out to the teachers, staff and parents who worked so hard to protect the children.

    I am so glad you all are safe.

  8. Praying for all of y'all out there in tornado country.

  9. I can't even imagine! So glad you guys are safe and have a place (however smelly) to go!

  10. I'm so glad you're safe. Not so glad for the farts but glad you're safe.

    I have to deal with hurricanes but we can prepare for those. Tornadoes, not so much.

    I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts and as always, those victims of Moore are in my heart as well.

    ((HUGS)) and yeah, get one of those Febreeze things for the shelter - they have those stick on ones now ;-)

  11. So glad you're okay. My heart and thoughts have been with Oklahoma this week.

  12. so glad you and your family are ok. Praying for all those affected by the storms.

  13. I'm so glad you're safe. What a terrible thing, this tornado. Just awful.

  14. Tornadoes terrify me. Always have, always will.

  15. Wow, so intense. So glad you're ok. I'm sure someone always has to fart in nervous situations. And blessings to everyone in OK for the tornado season. Yikes.

  16. I am glad you are safe!

    The footage and the stories are so hard to take in. I try to read the happy stories because I can't handle hearing about the kids. It is heartbreaking.

  17. I can't even imagine.
    Glad you're ok and you have a shelter!

  18. I'm so happy for Twitter - because I knew you guys were safe. But yes, my heart is broken for all those people who were affected and we are sending prayers and money through the Red Cross.

  19. The people in Oklahoma are in my thoughts and prayers. I can't imagine what that would be like, or what they're going through.

    I also know it was you who farted in the tornado shelter. I get it. Your secret is safe with me.

  20. I am so glad you guys are safe. I had to laugh because you sound EXACTLY like me. My husband would be out there trying to spot the tornado and I would be the one yelling. Only I have a basement not a storm cellar. Seeing the devastation in Moore and hearing about the kids really got to me as well and I am not even from OK.

  21. Thank goodness you and your family are safe.
    Your children are beautiful!

  22. Tornados are so scary... and unpredictable. I'm glad you guys are all okay!

  23. I'm so glad you guys are OK. So sad for those that's aren't.

  24. I'm so glad that your family is ok. I teared up reading the end of this post. Absolutely heart breaking stuff and the fact that you are there just makes it that much worse. Stay safe. I'm gonna go hug my babies now.

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  26. Glad to hear you are okay. Thankful you do have a shelter you can go to even if it's crowded (and smelly)

    It is heartbreaking about the children at those schools.

  27. So glad you guys were spared. As soon as I saw on the news that 2 schools were hit hard, my heart just sank. I had hoped they'd dismissed early after I saw their regular school day went until 3:30. So terrifying and tragic.


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