“Who farted? Come on guys, this is an enclosed space!” I yelled, pinching my nose.
“It wasn’t me!” Natalie piped up, covering her own nose.
“It was me,” Tommy admitted, reminding me of Jim Carrey in the movie Liar, Liar as he got off an elevator.
“Why son?” I asked. “Why?” It smelled like the cheese that smells like dirty diapers.
“I couldn’t hold it,” Tommy shrugged.
“Next time, do,” I ordered.
We were in the tornado shelter due to the base sirens going off on Sunday evening. Tornadoes seemed to be forming left and right. I do not like going into the shelter. Bugs live in the shelter. It gets hot in the shelter. PEOPLE FART IN THE SHELTER.
For most of the day, gigantic clouds were forming and Tommy was outside taking photos of them:
“Isn’t this amazing?” he kept saying, because he’s obsessed with weather. “Aren’t the cumulonimbus clouds great?”
“So long as they don’t get dangerous,” I answered.
Then things started to get dangerous.
The base sirens started to go off.
“We need to get into the shelter,” I said, trying to keep calm. I didn’t want to panic the children.
“My dolls! My dresses!” Natalie yelped, running for her room.
“We need to get into the shelter!” I insisted.
“MY DOLLS! MY DRESSES!”
“Natalie, pick one thing. They’ll be fine,” I said. They’d be fine, right? We wouldn’t get hit by a tornado. Right? RIGHT? I longed for my husband. Why did he have to be deployed during tornado season? Oklahoma can get insane during tornado season. He was usually the one who calmed me down. When he wasn’t outside, trying to SPOT the tornado, that is. While we’d be hunkered down in the shelter, he’d be outside and I’d be screaming, “Get in, get in, did you not see the movie Twister WHEN THE DAD GOT SWEPT AWAY?”
Natalie returned with three toys—her Rapunzel, her pony, and the camel her daddy sent her. “They were all scared,” she told me solemnly. “I couldn’t pick one.”
Then we went in the shelter and waited.
I felt like I wanted to faint.
Sirens went off.
We got to come out. My heart went out to the people of Shawnee who were hit hard.
I hoped that was it for awhile.
Fast forward to Monday. New storms were being reported. I got a phone call from the school saying we could pick up the kids early. I opted to do so to be on the safe side.
Reports of a tornado forming started and the base alarms went off. We hunkered back into the shelter. Yes, Natalie had to bring toys again. No, Tommy didn’t fart. We stayed there for an hour, because it was thought the tornado was coming right for us. I did not panic. If I panicked, the kids would panic. I could not do that to them. So instead I thought good thoughts. I wished my husband were with us.
Then the alarms turned off.
I found out about the devastation in Moore. Houses were destroyed. Schools were destroyed. People were killed. CHILDREN were killed. This got me the worst.
So please, keep the families in your thoughts and prayers. I am hoping that we’re done with crazy tornadoes but seeing as this is Oklahoma, it’s unlikely…