It’s been a penis couple of days in my house.
No, that’s not a typo.
Remember how I wrote about Tommy watching the puberty video at school?
Well, on the same day, Natalie had a spelling test.
She spelled the word clock wrong.
I burst out laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Natalie asked.
I swallowed. I couldn’t tell her. “It’s…um….it’s just a beautiful day!” I fibbed. "And that makes me happy!"
Natalie laughed along, none the wiser. “Yeah, that makes me happy too!”
“That’s a bad word. It means penis,” Tommy cut in, staring at the paper.
“Tommy, what do you mean, it’s a feathered bird,” I said, shooting him a Look.
He didn’t catch it. “No, it’s another word for penis. A boy in my class said it and had to sit out in the hall.”
“It means PENIS?” Natalie shrieked. She tossed her head back and cracked up. “Cock, cock, cock!”
“Stop it!” I hissed, shutting the front door. I hoped no one was walking past. Our screen was open. People jog by often. I didn’t want to be known as the penis house.
“Cock, cock, cock!” Natalie continued.
“Cock-a-doodle-do said the rooster,” I insisted. “That’s right, sweetheart!”
“Cock means penis,” Natalie snickered.
We were set to leave for the school carnival. I did not want her sharing this information to her friends. Can you IMAGINE the looks the parents would give me? What are you allowing your children to watch? Well, Family Guy, sometimes, if I'm being completely honest. But they've never repeated a naughty word from the show. I swear!
“Cock means penis,” I pictured Natalie whispering to her friends. And then the word would spread and the principal would have to come over the loudspeaker and go, “Could everyone refrain from using a particular word that rhymes with dock? It is not appropriate in a school setting. Or anywhere.”
Anyway, I’m keeping the spelling test in Natalie’s school book that I have yet to fill out. (I should start on that before I start forgetting teacher names and such…)
Because kid typos are hilarious.