I have been kid free for almost a week now.
My mom took my children back with her so I could enjoy some peace.
I needed it.
Since Tom is deployed, my nerves have been frayed. Yes, I understand that mothers do this all the time. Sometimes with more children. But guys? I don’t have a lot of patience. It’s the only child in me. I don’t want to have to get down at kid level and explain why I’m telling them no. I feel if I tell them no, they should listen. However, I gave birth to children who need explanations.
I also gave birth to an incredibly stubborn daughter.
She’s also loud.
Sometimes when I would speak to her I would shake and talk through pursed lips like Tom Hanks in A League of Their Own when he’s trying desperately not to shout at the female ball players.
I felt guilty. She shouldn’t have an irritated mother. But I didn’t have my husband to help. I didn’t have my husband to tell me to go upstairs and take a breather while he dealt with Natalie. (Who naturally listens to him, no problem.)
I also have a son who has Aspergers. He can get over stimulated. When he gets over stimulated, he shouts. Generally when he shouts, Natalie is throwing some sort of fit.
We’ve had many loud days at this house.
I so needed my break. I feel relaxed. I feel like I’m able to be a patient mother again. I can sink to my knees and explain things at eye level. My nerves won’t get frayed as quickly. Yes it was nice to be able to watch my television shows with adult situations whenever I wanted and have a bowl of ice cream and not have to share—but being a mother is who I am. I began to miss my kids.
I get to see them tomorrow. I get to discuss Tommy’s latest obsession with him and play princess games with Natalie.
And I can’t wait.