"This is making no sense!" I shrieked, staring at the paper. I looked at Natalie who was rolling around on the floor. "How do you do this?" I asked her. After all, this was HER homework.
Natalie paused in her rolling and peered at the paper. "I have no idea," she said seriously.
"But surely they must've taught you this in school?" I pressed.
Natalie shrugged. "I have no idea!"
Well, some help SHE was.
Seriously though, the homework was weird.
"This is FIRST GRADE homework!" I shouted to no one. "I should UNDERSTAND this!"
But I didn't.
And my daughter was now spinning around the room. Getting her to do homework is never easy. She'd much rather dance. Or sing. Or play My Little Ponies. Or...anything, really.
Tom came home and I thrust the paper in his face. "We don't know what's going on!" I shrieked.
Tom blinked. "Jesus, neither do I! What the hell?" He took the paper.
"Explain how to do that, please." I am awful in math. Awful. I forget even the basic stuff. Tom is a little better with math, but not much.
"Well, sure, this is easy," Tom began and I immediately felt foolish. Maybe I missed something? But then Tom frowned and went, "Wait, never mind." Then he hopped on his laptop and tried to figure it all out.
Soon after that, our neighbor came to the door and SHE explained it to us. This was because her daughter had stopped by asking if Natalie could play and I said she had to finish her homework first. Then the daughter probably ran back and was all, "They're confused too!" so the mom came over to make sure we weren't balled up on the floor, crying.
Anyway, I understood soon after, praise chocolate. And it was TOUGH STUFF for a first grader. This was the final paper, in case your confounded mind had no idea how to do it either. And if you figured it out right away, please come live with us and teach us your ways.
Frames and Arrows can kiss my my pale butt.