Who is watching the Super Bowl this weekend?
Well, my husband will probably switch it over once in awhile to check on the commercials and to see the half show in case a boob is flashed again. (I don't even know who is doing the half time show. Hmm.)
We aren't really football people. My husband generally roots for the Cleveland Browns and they do well like 20% of the time (and that's being generous) so I'm not subjected to the boring sport often. This also might be due to the fact that if my husband decides to check out the game that I say ridiculous things like, "What's a line backer do? When they bend over like that before going, "hut, hut, hut", what happens if they fart?"
Here are things I won't be doing on Sunday:
Sundays are the day of rest. If Tom wants something, he's welcome to make it. I'm always in awe of the women who are like, "My husband wanted to throw a Superbowl party so I need to make a list on what I'm going to make!" My face is all:
This is because its always on the tip of my tongue to go, "Why do you have to cook if your husband wants to throw the party?" Then I remember, oh, right, some people LIKE to cook. So keep quiet, Amber.
It drives me insane when people shout for no reason. So an overpaid padded player drops the ball? Big deal. I was more upset when the show Friends made us wait to find out what would happen after Ross said the name Rachel at his wedding to Emily. That's something to shout about. We had to wait like THREE MONTHS to witness the aftermath of that debacle. You don't shout over a fumble. You shout over cliffhangers and when things like this happen:
Rooting For A Certain Team
I generally pick who I want to win based on the uniform color. The Seahawks have better colors. Remember when Starter Jackets were all the rage? I had a Dallas one. Not because I liked the team but because I liked the colors. So people would be like, "How about those cowboys?" and I'd go,
Then I'd realize, "oh RIGHT, I'm wearing a team jacket, sort of."
Go Online And Bash Moves That Players Make
I'm always in awe on how passionate some people get online. This one chick was all, "If you say a bad word about *insert football player here* I am UNFRIENDING you." Over FOOTBALL! I was tempted to bash said football player just to see if she was telling the truth. I didn't. But it took all my willpower not to comment, "You know it's a GAME, right? *Insert football player here* doesn't even know you exist."
Run Through The Streets After The Game
I'm on base housing. If we tried to do this, the base police would be called. I'd be tempted to run through the streets because FOOTBALL IS OVER, YAY! No more horrible games interrupting my shows! So maybe I WOULD run through the streets. But wait. I can't. Base police. Maybe I'll make a sign that says, "IT'S OVER!" and place it in my yard. But then people might think I was talking about my marriage or something and base police would knock on the door, making sure we weren't having domestic issues (my husband has gone to many a domestic issue. People on base are pretty crazy sometimes.)
So if you're watching the game, have fun! Just know that I'll be on the couch reading.
Or playing Barbies with my daughter.
Or going out and buying a big bucket of chicken because people's Instagram pictures of their Superbowl foods will undoubtably make me hungry.
Go Seahawks, but only because I like their uniform more!