Friday, January 24, 2014

Why I'm Glad I Didn't Have A Big Wedding

Tom and I got married in a court house.

I was 19. Pregnant. Wearing black.


I was never one of those kids who dreamed about what her wedding would be like. I didn't walk around with a pillowcase on my head and pretend it was my veil. So it didn't bother me that I was married in a court house.

Now, at our ten year anniversary, I wore white. I had a proper wedding dress. I renewed my vows on the Grand Staircase of the (obviously fake) Titanic.



But again. It was small. Simple.

Here are the reasons why I could not have had a big wedding:





1. I couldn't care less about colors. Apparently when you plan a wedding you need to have a color scheme. Why? Does it matter what color the tablecloth is? So long as it's clean, it can be neon green for all I care. I cannot get myself excited over colors.


2. I don't care about a theme. Some people have a beach theme. Others have a Mardi Gras theme. If people asked what my theme was I'd be all, "Um, getting married? Isn't that the point of all of this?" I'm not one of those giggly women that would gasp, "My theme is LOVE and HEARTS!" I'd want to slap myself.


3. I'd get insulted if someone didn't like the food at my wedding. The main reason for a wedding is to watch a couple exchange vows, is it not? So if someone is all, "I didn't like the chicken," I'd be all, "Well, you know, stop someplace on your way home from my wedding and pick up your own meal then." I love food but I wouldn't complain if my steak was dry at at wedding.


4. Centerpieces. Most of the time they're too large and they block your view from the people across from you. So you're twisting to and fro, probably knocking into the person beside you as this awful thing with orchids or colored stones rises in front of your face. You cannot make conversation with the people across from you easily. I wouldn't bother with centerpieces. Who really CARES about centerpieces?


5. Honestly, I'd probably just have a giant dessert area and say screw the meal. Don't people want a cupcake or a giant piece of pie anyway?


6. I don't like being the center of attention. I wouldn't want to walk down an aisle and have everyone stare at me. I'd trip. It was awkward enough to have everyone in that Titanic museum stop and stare as Tom and I renewed our vows. You could rent out the whole place but it was costly, so we just did the vows with the museum open. This meant anyone who wanted to witness us was able to, and my face was SO red. I kept thinking, "I probably have a booger smeared across my cheek and don't even realize it!" (I didn't, thank goodness..)


7. The first dance. Again, going with the number above, I don't like being the center of attention. And also, I don't dance. Yes we could slow dance, but I'd find some way to trip and fall on my face.


8. I'd actually want to keep my bouquet and not throw it. I'd also blush like mad when Tom removed my garter. I'd probably fart from being so nervous. It would just turn into this awful thing.


9. It would bother me that guests would expect food at cocktail hour. Wouldn't I be serving food at the reception? Why do I have to keep feeding people?


10. I probably wouldn't have the something blue, something new, and something borrowed. I didn't at my court house wedding. I might have had it at my vow renewal but only because my friends and family got that stuff. Small details like that simply don't pop into my mind.


-----

Some people love throwing big weddings. That's okay. I'd enjoy GOING to a big wedding. I just personally couldn't do it.

My daughter? I can see her wanting a big wedding.

We should probably start saving now.

38 comments:

  1. I love that you posted this because in my post today, I talked about how I was so nervous at my wedding that I didn't have fun. And I want a do-over! With or without boogers and farts, but hopefully without. And with kids this time!
    I'm like you - I don't like being the center of attention. I mean..people..I'm a photographer. Not a model.
    And why do you have to keep feeding/drinking the masses? I don't even eat the cocktail hour because if I do, dinner is ruined for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my gosh Tamara, I'm so happy to find someone else who didn't have fun at their wedding because they were too nervous! I was the exact same way, unfortunately.

      Delete
  2. I love this! I am not married but most of my friends did the big weddings and I have decided that IF we get married, its going to be a low key, sorta surprise, New Years Eve Party. This New Years eve we did nothing and it made me sad, so I said with everyone having kids and stuff, we'll have an evening wedding at the hall followed by DJ, dancing and midnight lunch. Done!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I didn't want a big wedding AT ALL. I had pretty much the same feelings that you did. BUT...I was forced into it by my inlaws. No kidding. They couldn't LIVE with the idea of us not doing it. Ugh. But it all turned out okay and I enjoyed it...I just let the moms pick all the stupid things. (I was in medical school and didn't have time for all of that anyway) --Lisa

    ReplyDelete
  4. Thank goodness I'm not the only one! With my sister's big wedding coming up in August my family has started asking when James and I are planning on getting married now. Personally, I'd be happy out a campground getting married in jeans, but that has thrown my sister's into a complete tizzy because "that's not a wedding!" I just don't get the whole point of stressing yourself out and spending a ton of money. It's about wanting to be with that person, not about how much you spend to impress others.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I've been married twice (both times to the same man - LONG story) and we eloped both times. I really think he would have preferred a bigger wedding but he gave in to my desire to NEVER, EVER be the center of attention. The first time we used the money that would have been used on the wedding to go on a vacation. The second time we used the money to make a down payment on a house. The practical side of me could just never see shelling out those big bucks for an event that I would have hated every minute of.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I had a small wedding too, but that's because I was 19 and poor. Ha! I would love to renew our vows (we're coming up on 14 years)and have a better one this time around.

    ReplyDelete
  7. You look stunning. I am yet to wed. Do not still have a clear picture on it....

    ReplyDelete
  8. I had a large wedding. I understand not having a large wedding, but for me I never saw another option. Both my husband and myself have large families. We wanted to have an event where everyone we love was there to enjoy the day with us. I know it's not for everyone, but that was why we did it.

    However, I did NOT do a bouquet and garter toss. I felt absolutely no need to do it.

    You look beautiful in both you black and white dress. A wedding is so personal, you have to have the wedding you want.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Have you been watching The Four Weddings on TLC? You hit all the point categories from that show, LOL! I am with you though. I don't want a wedding. I honestly don't. I never dreamt about a wedding. I never even knew I was supposed to? I just thought Id be married, have children, have a house to clean. I never thought about how I would get those things, ha. Which would explain why I am single as a single lone branch on a tree, with no prospects. And even if I did, I'd just want to elope or do the courthouse thing. Get it over with, and start life together as if it was always that way.

    ReplyDelete
  10. i had a decent sized wedding (i paid for it out of my own pocket, minus the 600 my in laws gave me for the cake-which the cake was 200, but shh dont tell them).

    the color was apple red. and you know what, if i could go back in time i would have never done it that way. i was really nervous about everything coming together and there was drama between my bridesmaids (friends vs cousins). but i didnt have a theme, my theme was "wedding" LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  11. We had a fairly small wedding which was perfect. If I had to do it again I would save the money from the wedding and go to Hawaii instead!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I don't want to have a huge wedding, mainly because it is freaking expensive and it is so much more stressful. John and I want to keep it simple, and do as much as we can ourselves to save money. Like for food at the reception we are going to have a potluck type theme :) I also don't want to invite everyone and their mother's brother's sister-in-law's grandparents. Just close family and friends that mean a lot to us.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I really like the white dress you wore on your 10th wedding anniversary

    ReplyDelete
  14. Thanks for commenting on my blog!

    When my boyfriend and I get married, we don't want anything fussy and overwhelming either. Give me a backyard BBQ and just a few friends!

    ReplyDelete
  15. My boyfriend said if we ever get married, he wants a small wedding. While I want a huge, expensive one. We'll probably end up meeting somewhere in the middle. Which I think I'd be okay with. After all, less money for the wedding equals more money for the honeymoon!

    Your eighth point had me cracking up laughing, by the way! :)

    Michelle
    The Girly Gamer

    ReplyDelete
  16. we had a pretty big wedding but that's because my family is so huge. if it were up to me, i'd be a small wedding at an adorable bed and breakfast!

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda


    ReplyDelete
  17. I'm not sure how you would quantify the size of our wedding, but we invited all the people we wanted to. The music, food, DJing, photography, and flowers were all done by family friends. It was nice being surrounded by all those people who love us. Plus ours was in the afternoon. There's no way I could have waited all day long to get married. I would have been a basket case!!
    I currently work with college students who all seem to be planning their weddings. It drives me a little bit CRAZY!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I got married in a JOP's house, wearing a red Chinese dress I paid $20 for in Chinatown and I was 5 months pregnant. We ate at Chili's afterwards. But it was so much fun and we were so in love and so glad to be together. I wouldn't mind a vow renewal one day. But I like what you did, sort of a low key thing that you did together without tons of people.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I'm not married but it kinda gets me excited thinking about planning a wedding and I'm a regular at bhldn.com <3 A girl can dream! I should probably get a fiance first, though.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Big weddings just seem like a lot of work. If it'S your dream, that's great, but it's not for me, which is good, because no one has asked me yet!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Big weddings just seem like a lot of work. If it'S your dream, that's great, but it's not for me, which is good, because no one has asked me yet!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I enjoy being the center of attention, and I had a big wedding. Well, medium sized - we don't have a big family and I don't know that many people! And yes, start saving now.:)

    ReplyDelete
  23. I totally hear you on not liking all that traditional wedding stuff. Even though I was nervous beyond belief, I'm glad my husband and I kept things simple: around 50 guests, no dancing, friends made all the food and decorations, and my sister made the cake :-)

    ReplyDelete
  24. I love this.

    Big weddings are so beautiful but so not me.

    I married my husband in his (our) home with his daughter standing on one side of him and our preacher standing in front of us.

    Just us 3. No parents. No friends. Just my new little family.

    And I wouldn't change a thing about it. =)

    ReplyDelete
  25. The thought of planning a wedding makes me cringe for MANY of these reasons!!!!! They're so much damn MONEY! Even "cheap" ones are expensive in my eyes!

    ReplyDelete
  26. She could get married at Disney World and wear a Princess dress!

    ReplyDelete
  27. My first wedding was in a hair salon it was in her house and her husband was a preacher. I was wearing a black hoodie. My second was a small ceremony in the backyard. I love the wedding shows but I think most of the stuff is insane and could never actually spend that much money on 1 day.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I didn't have a weeding when I married my husband, but I do DREAM of renewing our vows somedays. I want to run away somewhere on a beach with just our very closest family (I'd be fine if it was just us and our kids). No reception, just some sand, some vows, and the people most important to me!

    ReplyDelete
  29. I think I'd probably like going to a big fancy wedding--but I did NOT want one. I did have a wedding--but it was the "in my grandparent's church because the venue was free, nachos and cake in the church basement as a mid-afternoon reception." No dancing and no alcohol because the church didn't allow it, which was fine with me because....I just wanted marry my man, that's really all I wanted out of the day. And I got it!

    ReplyDelete
  30. We were married at the home of my best friend with two couples and three kids present. A month later we had a nice reception for family and friends, at a place that put a couple of daisies on each table. When our daughter was married I got to make (small, simple) centerpieces and silk bouquets and boutonnieres, and other stuff. I LOVED it and she was glad to just approve what I proposed. So many different ways to go! My granddaughter, I suspect, will want the full princess treatment, just like Natalie. :)

    ReplyDelete
  31. My first wedding was a bigish wedding and honestly, it was a lot of work, money, and drama. And like you, I never dreamed of getting married.

    This time around will be much, much smaller and for just myself and my fiance.

    ReplyDelete
  32. My husband and I eloped. I've never regretted it. Not once. Not even when my MIL wanted us to repeat our vows in the catholic church. I don't like being the center of attention and feel the entire wedding extravaganza is such a rip-off. There is so much more to a marriage than the wedding day.

    ReplyDelete
  33. I've had three weddings, so I have some experience here, lol. But none of them were the huge, lavish affairs you see on tv. The first was a church wedding with a reception at my parents' house. The second was a backyard wedding. The third we eloped, got married on the beach with 2 friends as witnesses. BY FAR that one was the best!!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. We had a smallish wedding (just under 50 people counting us), but I still had all the normal wedding things. Theme, colors, amazing meal. I always dreamed of my wedding, but I liked that everyone there was important to us and not invited just because.

    That Titanic location looks really cool. What a great place to renew your vows.

    ReplyDelete
  35. We had a fairly small wedding and I didn't even have a wedding party. oops. I did have to wear the white dress though, because it was the one day I was going to.

    ReplyDelete
  36. We had a teeny wedding too, and I'm so glad. It was stressful enough as is, mostly because of in-law issues, so I'm glad we didn't have more people causing a riot at a large event. Plus, I hate the thought of wasting so much money on a wedding! Why not put it toward something else you want as a couple?

    ReplyDelete
  37. In the end, it's all about the marriage, not the wedding (aka Big expensive party).

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the comment!

Share This

 
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...