I feel like she's PMSing now.
Yes, she's only 7.
When she goes from this:
To this in a matter of seconds:
It's a little concerning. It makes a person go, "WTF?" (My husband says, "You see? Now you understand how men feel!")
She changes moods a lot when I take photos of her. Those smiling pictures I post? Aren't always easy to get. I have to either A) make farting noises or B) injure myself. Or pretend to injure myself. But sometimes I end up really injuring myself.
Sometimes the fart sounds and the wounding of my person doesn't work. She's getting...well, PMS-ey.
"I don't like farts and I don't care if you run into Daddy's grill. It's not funny anymore."
Well, tra-la-la, princess.
"You just aren't a funny person to me anymore."
I don't take it lightly when the people I created claim I am not a funny person. So I took one of Natalie's outdoor toys--I picked a plastic ball--and bounced it off my forehead.
"Watch out," I shouted. "The ball is a flying turd!"
A-ha! I was getting to her. It was working. I picked up the ball and did it again. "Watch out! The ball is a flying TURD!"
A woman walking her dog did a double take in my direction.
This happens a lot.
I thought, yay, it's working! It's really working.
"Why won't you just leave me alone?"
Then Tom popped his head out and asked if Natalie was being nice. He knows she can grate on my nerves.
And then she did this:
In the words of Stephanie Tanner? How RUDE.
Did I not carry her inside me?
Did I not push her out?
Did I not nurse her? I was the ONLY ONE who could feed her because I couldn't ever pump anything AND she spit out bottles and screamed like a banshee if we dared try to press the nipple of one into her dainty mouth.
It's all about Daddy. It's always been all about Daddy.
"Daddy, watch me spin!"
"Daddy, look at me smile!"
Tom told her she was beautiful and then went back inside.
I should have called him back out. As soon as he was gone, Natalie's smile dropped from her face.
"Aw, Natalie, don't be mean. Give me a smile!"
"I can't. Not right now."
"Come on. What if the flying turd comes back?"
"I need to go inside. My skin is hurting. Goodbye."
And she left.
She's PMSing now.