It's back to school time!
And believe me, I was ready. I love my kids to bits, but here are the reasons why I'm glad they're back at school.
1. I don't have to listen to them complain about lunches. I'd make sandwiches and set them down and the kids would sometimes be like, "We don't want this." Now I can make lunches, pack it in their bags, and if they don't like it, I don't have to hear it. Their friends and teachers do.
2. No more playing Barbies! Natalie wants me to play Barbies with her daily. Right when I wake up. Suddenly a plastic doll is shoved in my hand and Natalie will be like, "This is Brenda and she's upset with Ken right now!"
3. I can walk wherever I want in the house. This probably sounds weird, but Natalie will say things like "you can't step there due to lava. You can't step in that corner because sharks live there right now."
4. I love my son to bits and I'm glad he's open, but hearing this a lot: "I have new hairs down there! Puberty is happening!" could be very shocking before I had my caffeine.
5. I can talk on the phone interrupted. This seems to be when Natalie wants to ask all the questions in her head: ""Do we drink Brita water?", "Why can't you grow plants?" and, "Can you play Barbies with me?" I can also have a PIP (poop in peace.) I no longer have an audience when I go, but I do have questions asked outside the door. For some reason the second I start to go, questions must be answered right then and there. "Mommy? Can you play Barbies with me?" "Mommy? Why don't I like olives but my Daddy does?" and, "Mommy? Ariana Grande does NOT sound like a dying animal when she sings. Why do you always say that to me? It's rude!"
6. I no longer have to be confused when Natalie is like, "I need some marzipan." I asked where she learned that word and she was all, "My Little Pony!" And it's especially fun when she acts like Pinky Pie. She'll suddenly yell, "OH MY GOSH!" which always freaks me out so I shout, "What the hell is going on?" and she's all, "I'm PINKY PIE and HELL is not a friendly word!" Well, don't scare me when I'm trying to read!
7. I don't have to hear Tommy rant about why he has to be 13 for everything online. Facebook. Instagram. YouTube. "It's not fair. I'm 12. I'm mature. I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING ONLINE! And why are people under 13 on there? How is that fair? Why are their parents letting their kids lie? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE 13?"
8. No more hearing Stampy Minecraft videos. "HELLO, this is Stampy!" Natalie will then talk all about them and be like, "And now there's Esther," and I'm all, "WHO is Esther?" (A chicken, I think..)
Now, mind you, I might have to witness these things when they are home. But it won't be so bad, because it's not all day.
So if you have kids, are you happy that they've gone Back To School?