Lots of people went to see Fifty Shades of Grey. I know this thanks to my Facebook feed. I'll probably see it inside the comforts of a home with my friend so we can mock and laugh at it. Why? Well, the movie freaks me out a tad. How? Let me explain...
1. I don't feel the need to do kinky things in bed.
Maybe this makes me a prude. Fine. I'm a prude. But I don't want to use whips and chains. That frightens me. If Tom showed up with a whip I'd either A) laugh or B) scream.
2. The period sex scene in the book made me gag. (It's apparently not in the movie.)
When I'm on my period, I feel gross. I want to stay in sweatpants for days and stuff chocolate in my face. I may or may not brush my hair.
3. "You're here because I'm incapable of leaving you alone."--Christian
That's some scary shit right there. I don't want a man around me at all times. I need my space.
4. I don't like the way Christian stares at Anastasia.
Don't stare at me intently because I'll worry I have something on my face. I'm a messy eater.
5. Helicopters frighten me. Christian has his own, which he flies.
I do not like helicopters. I'm afraid they'll crash. I don't like flying to begin with. If you put me in a small container and ask me to have fun, it won't happen. I'll request that fun be had on solid ground, thank you.
Does Christian weird you out? Or am I the only one who doesn't appreciate rich freaky men with play rooms? It seems like it's the beginning of a 20/20 murder story to me....