Lots of people went to see Fifty Shades of Grey. I know this thanks to my Facebook feed. I'm sure lots of people will go see the sequel too. I'll pass, because I know the movies aren't for me. Why? Well, the books made me cringe. I had friends gush about Christian and I'd be all, "Are we reading the same book? Christian is creepy." Maybe people like men with sex rooms and who are super needy.
1. I don't feel the need to do kinky things in bed.
Maybe this makes me a prude. Fine. I'm a prude. But I don't want to use whips and chains. That frightens me. If Tom showed up with a whip I'd either A) laugh or B) scream.
2. The period sex scene in the book made me gag. (It's apparently not in the movie.)
When I'm on my period, I feel gross. I want to stay in sweatpants for days and stuff chocolate in my face. I may or may not brush my hair. I don't want anyone to touch me.
3. "You're here because I'm incapable of leaving you alone."--Christian
That's some scary shit right there. I don't want a man around me at all times. I need my space.
4. I don't like the way Christian stares at Anastasia.
Don't stare at me intently because I'll worry I have something on my face. I'm a messy eater.
5. Helicopters frighten me. Christian has his own, which he flies.
I do not like helicopters. I'm afraid they'll crash. I don't like flying to begin with. If you put me in a small container and ask me to have fun, it won't happen. I'll request that fun be had on solid ground, thank you.
Does Christian weird you out? Or am I the only one who doesn't appreciate rich freaky men with play rooms? It seems like it's the beginning of a 20/20 murder story to me....