1. I'm an introvert. Being around a bunch of people and having to make small talk terrifies me. I usually say something bizarre like, "Henry VIII had very nice calves." Then people around me have expressions on their faces like:
2. I can't walk in heels properly. I look like freshly born calf when I'm wearing them. People assume I'm drunk when I smack into a wall, attempting to regain my balance.
3. I feel uncomfortable in a dress. I'm a pants kinda girl. I always worry a boob is going to somehow pop out while in a dress. I worry I won't sit properly and someone will see my undies. Don't worry, I would never pull a Britney Spears. When Tom and I renewed our vows, I got all done up. It was nice but...weird.
4. I'm not the neatest eater. Usually whenever I consume food, some of it winds up on me. My husband finds this amusing. I try to eat slow, and I still get a crumb on my nose. I don't even know how. Or I spill my drink down my front.
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5. I'm clumsy. I'll knock my drink all over the table. I just KNOW it. (See above.)
6. I get the giggles at inappropriate times. At a military ball, important people give speeches. Important people who are high ranking. Important people who are my husband's boss. And sometimes I suddenly find this amusing, and I can't stop laughing. I don't know why. Maybe because I'm terribly uncomfortable? I know it's not appropriate to giggle behind the cloth napkin. I'm frantically trying to pinch my thighs so I'll stop.
7. I'd rather be at home in my sweats without a bra, stuffing my face with fast food. The food you're given at military balls is usually some kind of chicken that you have to neatly cut and take thoughtful bites of. I like to cram my face with fries and lick my fingers. I guess I'm not a proper lady. Oops.
Do you go to military balls? Or if you aren't military, do you like to dress up and go to events?