Thursday, August 4, 2016
10 Ways I'm A Bad Mom
I saw the movie Bad Moms and found it to be hilarious. If you haven't seen it yet, you should. Unless you don't like cursing. There is a lot of cursing in the movie. I don't mind cursing as I do it on a daily basis, but I know some people aren't fans of the f-bomb.
Anyway, the movie inspired me to write this post. There are multiple reasons why I'm a Bad Mom. Here are only 10 of them.
1. We eat McDonalds--and other fast food--multiple times during the month.
2. I automatically think someone is joking if they say they only eat organic foods. I once tried to feed my children kale and my daughter cried thinking it was dragon scales.
3. My kids both watched TV before they were 2. They most likely started watching at 2 days old.
4. Sometimes I listen to inappropriate music in the car. I've written about how I won't play kid music while driving. Most of the time I listen to musicals. But sometimes I will jam to Green Day. I had Basket Case on and my daughter was like, "What's being stoned mean?" I answered, "Oh, it's when people throw stones." Now I have to hope she doesn't randomly bring it up to her friends. "Do you know what being stoned means? I do!"
5. I really don't enjoy playing games with my kids. Someone either cries or cheats. Maybe when they're older.
6. I don't want to join the PTA. The thought makes me want to shave off my hair and set it on fire in my living room.
7. I don't limit screen time. I probably should. But for my sanity, I don't.
8. I yell. Sometimes I worry the entire neighborhood will hear me.
9. I hated breastfeeding. I felt trapped. I only did it because I'm cheap. Also, I was sort of hoping my kids might be geniuses because the experts said it might add some IQ points. Then maybe they could explain math to me. It didn't work.
10. I let my kids watch shows and movies that most people wouldn't. For example, my teenager watched Deadpool even though people were like, "But the sex and strippers!" And my daughter went to see Jurassic World even though some mothers were like, "But the s-word is used!" I'm all, "Shit? Oh my kids hear it often when I'm driving, we're good."
So how are you a Bad Mom?